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Penis Requests a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor
work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often
visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the
day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

_________________
Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine