www.CostaRicaTicas.com

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...

### people ask when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish and what bait
was used to catch 'em.

### when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

### opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.

### a member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a
hole it couldn't get out of."

### the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

### in a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.

### Baptism is referred to as "branding".

### high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to
howling.

### people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
something too heavy.

### the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

### the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered
with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

### the collection plates are really hub caps from a '72
Pinto.

### instead of a bell, you are called to service by a
duck call.

### the minister and his wife drive matching pickup
trucks.

### the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

### "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

And finally, you Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if
...
the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back
now! Ya Hear."

_________________
Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine