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On some software problems ...
Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 1.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
The features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include:
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to un-install at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must un-install Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared
use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The un-install program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
BUG WARNING
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before un-installing Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the un-install itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
BUG WORK-AROUNDS
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.
For all you who were considering upgrading Girlfriend 3.0 to Wife 1.0 here goes a story :
Dear Wife Help desk,
I have had a bizarre experience beginning with Girlfriend 3.0. I was playing with the registry one day and found that the only difference between Girlfriend 3.0 and Wife 1.0 was one registry value.
Wife 1.0 was pretty cool at first since it didn't have the curfew setting and came with some extra resources I could only demo in Girlfriend 3.0. After a while though some of my favorite features from Girlfriend 3.0 began to run into problems. The headache feature kept pushing the fun feature out of memory and the graphics started to fade. Try as I might, I couldn't get Wife 1.0 to revert to Girlfriend 3.0. Thinking I had nothing to loose I kept twiddling with Wife 1.0 and it spawned RUGRAT 1.0 and RUGRAT 2.0 sub programs. Those have kept me so busy with stack overflows, memory leaks, and sound problems that I haven't had much time to fiddle with Wife 1.0 much anymore. Every time I try, RUGRAT 2.0 seems to make itself memory resident which tends to cause Wife 1.0 to crash. Restarting Wife 1.0 takes so long after that, that I usually pack it in for the night and go to bed.
I've been thinking about the Mistress 1.0 program but I'm worried about the compatibility problems like everyone else. My main concern is that trying to un-install Wife 1.0 will leave me with so few system resources that Mistress 1.0 won't work anymore. Does anyone know if there is a patched version for Wife 1.0 that has the nice graphical features of Girlfriend 3.0 and the utilities I've come to expect with Wife 1.0??
Thanks...
Dave
*Reply from Wife Help Desk*
Dear sir, there currently is no patched version of Wife 1.0 with the specs you define in above last paragraph. However, I do have some useful info re: RUGRAT programs. RUGRATs are metered software apps; that is, after 18 years the applications no longer occupy resident memory and are instead archived to your hard drive. The RUGRATs may be temporarily restored as you like, like on Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. We have been told by users that Wife 1.0 quickly regains much of the original optimum performance levels as before compilation of the RUGRAT subprograms.
One word of caution: we have had a few reports of the metering function malfunctioning, resulting in the RUGRAT occupying resident memory beyond 18 years; in some cases well into 30 or more years.
There is a patch available on our FTP site: UPAYRENT.EXE, which seems to solve the problem.
- Good Luck,
Wife Help Desk
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