www.CostaRicaTicas.com

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:

Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.

You have a relative living in your garage.

Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.

There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.

None of the tires on your van are the same size.

You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.

Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.

You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House.

Starting your car involves popping the hood.

Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.

You whistle at women in church.

You've been in a fistfight at a yard sale.

You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the K*ds in the backseat.

If you've ever fixed a broken coil primary wire on a car with a safety pin off your date's bra strap,
and didn't think the date was unusual.

If you've got a matching set of salad bowls that all say "cool whip" on them.

If you take the Christmas lights on the front porch down in November, and only long enough to
get them working again.

You've ever used duct tape to repair dental work.

You've unstopped a sink with a shotgun.

Your will states your wife can't touch your money 'til she's fourteen.

You have to pass through a metal detector to get to a family reunion.

Your coffee table is also a cooler.

Your mailing address includes the word "holler".

The first time you ever saw your wife in lingerie, you had to pay a cover charge. (hey...ain't nothing wrong with this one!)

You've sold a car to settle a bar tab.

The best sofa you ever had came out of a Chevrolet.

You've ever used your bathtub as a punch bowl.

If you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

If you have ever used a barstool as a walker.

_________________
A Costa Rica Toast:
Here's to Looking like Movie Stars, Partying like Rock Stars and phucking like PORN STARS!

You may be a CRT junkie if:

You have twin boys, and you want to name one Del and the other Ray.

Your favorite oldies song is "Do you know the way to San Jose" (and you start inserting your own verses, like "do you know the way to the Del Rey")

You find yourself lying awake at night (not being an actual fisherman) wondering if marlins are really blue.

You pull out a wad of colones at McDonald's back home, and a photo of your novia falls out when you're buying ice cream for the K*ds.

Your little one stares in amazement as you engage the waitress in Spanish conversation at the local Mexican restaurant.

(Tried to work in something with "Papi" & "cien", but gotta get back to work, and pay for going on all these "foreign affairs"...)

More?

This is for all you new yorkers:

You know you are a CR Junkie:

When Spanish Harlem isn't so scary anymore!

_________________
A Costa Rica Toast:
Here's to Looking like Movie Stars, Partying like Rock Stars and phucking like PORN STARS!

You may be a CRT junkie if:

-you book your next CR trip before returning home from the current trip

-you know the flight schedules by heart

-you know the names of all the bartendars at BM/DR/KL

-the hotel checks you into your usual room

-you start to study spanish after returning home from your first trip for no appearant reason (except to return to CR)


Orange

Papichullo -- yes, Spanish Harlem -- the missed opportunities of long ago -- now I'm gonna have Ben E. King's song in my head all night.

Orange -- #1, 2, 4, 5 check! # 3 working on it.

Got it for the "cien" one:

You know you're a CRT junkie when your S.O. wakes you up in the night to tell you "You were screaming 'NO CIEN! NO CIEN!' in your sleep. Are you having another flashback, honey?"

My GOD, I AM A REDNECK AND A JUNKIE.

Diego and Orange-

Your posts are too damn scary and personal.


That is me.

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PacoLoco: "You pay for it one way or another."
Ace: "Rent everything, do not buy in Costa Rica"