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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:27 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2004 1:23 pm
Posts: 1113
Location: Somewhere between a rock and a hard place!
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club
and two balls. (Larry David only needs his tongue)

2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole. (Golf Etiquette) (You no pay cien?)

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep
the balls out. (foreplay or apply lube as needed)

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. (Vitamin V,C or L may be needed)

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage
to the hole. (Handy-no worry for you here!) J/K

6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the
owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in
being denied permission to play again. (Latinoheat, wham bam, thank you mam)

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival. (not on first date) (Yo lo pago después) Experienced players will
normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention
to well formed mounds and bunkers. (Zippy-GFE)

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or
are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset
owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.
(mi amor, yo solo tengo el sexo con usted, chicas ningun otro)

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear! (No cbj, bbbj por favor)

10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all
times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily
under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this
situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when
this is the case. (chupa mi pene, ahora!)

11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled
particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. (interview and negotiate)
Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else
is playing what they considered a private course. (mi amor, el es sólo un amigo, yo prometo)

12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes,
which may reduce the visibility of the hole. (Golf Hygiene) (a matter of preference)

13. Players are strongly advised to get the owner's permission before
attempting to play the backside. (pueda yo lo jodo en su culo)

14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace at the owner's request. (colombiana "más rápido, más rápido, se apresura")

15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play
the same hole several times in one match. ("mas leches, mas colones")

16. Grey Ghost should always keep the princess BB in his bed, thus helping his chances
for the pleasurable "hole-in-one". (Scuba, only kidding)

_________________
GG
"Last time I said no......I misunderstood the question!"


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