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 Post subject: Creative Puns
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:31 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 11:44 am
Posts: 611
CREATIVE PUNS FOR 'EDUCATED MINDS'

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference . He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

25. Two flies were arguing on a toilet seat. One got pissed off.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:10 pm 
Ticas ask me for advice!
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Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:03 pm
Posts: 450
Location: North of Mason Dixon Line
And I thought my sense of humor was bad, well it is because I enjoyed these.

You forgot about the woodworker who used plane speech.

or the boring conversation between drill bits.

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Patriot: Ice Road Trucking through the Bearing Sea to recovery


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:19 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2003 4:50 pm
Posts: 3822
Now try telling these to your amigas in Spanish!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:56 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:57 pm
Posts: 9518
Location: NFM--Geezers, cowpokes and the working poor--yeeha!
Isn't CL a great source for humor?
www.costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=28319
I will admit this post has a "sexier" title.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED


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