www.CostaRicaTicas.com

MAN LAWS
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into 'The Crying Game'.
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever, Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
(a) both urinating,
(b) both waiting in line, etc.
(c) or all othersituations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics, Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.
a. 'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
b. 'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the balls to say, 'You're next!'

We hope this clears up any confusion.

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd

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All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

That scene in the movie "The Crying Game" really freaked me out. To that point I was exited,then completely horrified.

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Providing humanitarian assistance to self employed chicas, one cash grant at a time.

Great stuff...is that from the Man Show?

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In honor of Jimmy V week, "Don't give up, don't ever give up!"

I sent a copy to my first two ex-wives with the heading "It's time you knew".

and a post is not coping someone's hard work then putting a couple smiles at the end like it's your original hard work.

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I know nothing, nothing!

Cariden...just to clarify, I did not originate the list...and should have made that clear. It was sent to me by a friend in email...with no original credits. If anyone finds out the original write, by all means lets give credit where credits due.

Thanks

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All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

Google is your friend.

http://muybueno.net/articles/stories/manlaws.html

http://www.joestump.net/category/man-law

http://www.ericwebster.net/2003/06/the_ ... n_code.php

Leykis 101 Rules

1. Spend no more than 40 dollars on a date.
* You worked hard for it and you should keep it. Spending more won't get you laid anyway. Optimally you should set up an after dinner date for cocktails.

2. Never date single mothers.
* You already know her stance on abortion, she won’t have one. Don’t risk paying vaginamoney. Plus her K*ds will always be #1 in her life and you will always be in the back burner. Why would you want to be in second place to some spoiled brat. They already made a mistake once, twice or more. Note: Ch*ld support if for 18 years boys!

3. 3 dates and no poon....?....you are outta there.
* If you haven't got laid by the 3rd date you are travling down the "friends" road and she is just sponging off you. (Leykis' 3 date rule is for guys who ONLY want sex - they don't WANT a relationship. If you're looking for a relationship, then that rule doesn't apply).

4. Leave if a chick if she answers her cell phone during a date.
* Most likely she has set up the bogus emergency call to get out of the date early because she's not going to bang or, she just talked to the bad boy that will bang her after you just bought the meal. If she answers the phone and you get that vibe, excuse yourself to the restroom and leave her there.

5. No coffee dates, no lunch dates.
* These are non-humping dates. You want alcohol involved.

6. There should be as little time as possible from drinking to banging. Don't detour to Denny's for breakfast or anything like that. She'll sober up and she won't want to bang.

7. Thursday-Saturday is offlimits for a girl unless its definite poon. This time is spent hanging out with your friends and having a good time.

8. Never answer your phone during the weekend.
* You want women to believe you are too busy out doing stuff.

9. Do not have a serious relationship until you have realized your personal dreams.
* Women are dream killers and will suck the life out of what you always wanted to do.

10. (For beginers) To get it done, Leykis says start with chunky chicks who are experienced or older women.
* Older women will love a young guy hitting on them and will show them the ropes. Remember: To play in the game, you have to warm up in the bullpen. This method gives you lots of room for player mistakes.

11. Never bang any chick from work.
* Unless you want to be fired. Yea, lots of people have met at work and it worked out for them but, there are also lots of sexual harassment suits ahppening and you don't want to be one of them.

12. YOU ARE PROUD TO BE AN ASSHOLE...wear it like a badge.
* Tons of women seem to respect guys that act like jerks. If it's not true why are they alway running after "Bad Boys"?

13. USE A CONDOM DURING EVERY ENCOUNTER. NO EXCEPTIONS!
* You don't want the crap she brought home and you don't want to pay Ch*ld support for 18 years right? NOTE: When your done get rid of the condom good....some chicks are just crazy enough to remove the contents.

14. From Tom himself: The best chicks are the ones who aren't totally americanized. Those girls are pretty much faithful, are hot, good in bed, and will treat you well.

15. Try the best you can to make sure you don't bring a chick back to your place to bang.
* You don't want a girl who knows where you lived after you dumped her and gone to the next girl.

16. Your income will reflect the quality of poon you get. Strive high, don't settle, stay hungry. Girls upgrade all the time, and guys should be able to also.

17. Do not leave voicemails.
*Your number will show up on her caller ID and that will be enough to get her interest in many cases.

18. Show any way possible that you don't need her. Make her feel like she matters, but she is easily replaceable.

18. NEVER call a bitch twice in the same week.
* This was in the movie Swingers, and Tom's played it before.

19. Don't discuss that you are a Leykis listener and follow his rules.
* Many women think Tom is a pig and won't bang just because.

20. Christmas, New Year's eve and Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, her birthday or yours, these are days that are off limits. You do not make plans with chicks you are dating on these days.

21. If you have a dinner date, eat a hearty meal before taking her out.
* Tell the waiter that you'll just have a salad. Tell your date your eating healthy. What girl is going to eat more than you?


22. Never do what you don’t want to do.
*You make the money, you decide on what you want to do and where you want to do it.

23. Don’t ask a woman what she wants. Women never know what they want.
* You're driving this ship.

24. No Spooning, No cuddling, No staying over. Get in and get out!

25. Don’t speak to women you work with unless it is work related. Don’t tell them they look nice, don’t comment on anything except on what work needs to be done. Your conversation should be limited to Good morning and goodnight with exception of the occasional good afternoon. Saying anything more may and most likely will lead up to a lawsuit.

26 Men don’t dance!
* The only exception is if you are Gay or Latino.

27. Never compliment a woman. Never.
* It raises her self esteem and she will look down on you. It will actually decrease your chances of getting pu*sy.

Of mention:

Hold off on marriage as long as possible. There is no benefit for a man getting married.
* Proof- your husbandly responsibilties include but not limited to the following
1. pay for rent or mortgage(full or portion of the house will be hers in case of divorce)
2. pay for her credit card bills
3. pay for her medical bills
4. pay for her dental bills
5. pay for the gas she puts in her car
6. pay for her car
7. pay for her car repairs
8. pay for childbirth
9. pay for childs clothes.
10. pay for her groceries
11. pay for her shoes
12. pay for her clothes
13. pay for furniture
14. pay phone bill, gas bill, electric bill, water bill
14. pay for her traffic citations
15. pay for gifts she buys for her own family
17. pay for her school loans
18. pay for girlie things like new carpet, designer minibilinds, wall paper, new paint, plants, decorations etc......

A woman's wifely responsibities on the other hand require an almost infinitely less expenditure of blood and sweat- suck and Phuck the husband and be nice. A man's ordeal doesn't end there, the load only gets greater. Once a husband makes more money and fulfills all of the above and thinks he can relax a bit the wife will add more load on which the husband must deliver. Examples are: moving into a larger more expensive house, buying another expensive car, having more Ch*ldren, shopping more frequently, picking up expensive habits (eating out, expensive vacations, visits to the salon, cosmetic surgery etc). In other words most husbands will be chained to the office until death.

It doesn't end there. Women today are vastly different from their 1950's counterparts. Most wives of 50 yrs ago expected little from a husband- just have a decent job and Phuck me and most stayed in the marriage for better or worse. Today's female is a totally different breed of cat. Look at divorce rates. Now if the husband and/or wife decides to divorce the husband will PAY. After divorce court all the husband will own are his shrivelled balls and a ton of bills and bad credit while the wife will enjoy the house, cars, Ch*ldren, and a pound of the husbands flesh and blood every month(alimony & Ch*ld support payments). Now the husband will never get laid. What woman will Phuck a broken down loser with a lifetime of alimony payments. Remember, none of you guys are special and divorce can and will happen to any of us.

How prophetic is that OK maybe not so much on the faithful part Good stuff El Silencio...Gracias

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In honor of Jimmy V week, "Don't give up, don't ever give up!"

phucking posts are getting much better everyday. Way for the forum to come back. I think the majority of us needed a large amount of pu*sy to get us going again. Thank you El S.

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Hit them fast, Hit them hard and NEXT!
A good chica is like a good carpenter - No wood gets wasted!!!