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A Dictionary You Really Need!

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish..................................49.

* Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.

* Athletic................................No breasts.

* Average looking.....................Moooo.

* Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.

* Emotionally Secure..................On medication.

* Feminist...............................Fat.

* Free Spirit.............................Junkie.

* Friendship first............ ...........Former Slut.

* New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places.

* Old-fashioned.......................No B.J.'s

* Open-minded.........................Desperate.

* Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.

* Professional...........................Witch.

* Voluptuous...........................Very fat.

* Large frame...........................Hugely fat.

* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

* Yes.....................................No

* No......................................Yes

* Maybe.................................No

* We need...............................I want

* I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry

* We need to talk......................You're in trouble

* Sure, go ahead........................You better not

* Do what you want.................You'll pay for this later

* I'm not upset........................Of course I'm upset, you moron!

* You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

* I am hungry...........................I am hungry

* I am sleepy............................I am sleepy

* I am tired..............................I am tired

* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!

* I love you..............................Let's have sex now

* I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?

* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I call you sometime?.............I'd like to have sex with you.

* Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.

* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit ............. I'm gay~

_________________
Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine