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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:03 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:24 am
Posts: 578
Location: Hills of Thailand
These sound like blonde jokes but supposedly they are true.
>
>
> A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our
> country is in trouble!
>
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her
> hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
>
> 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
> Capetown I started to explain the length of the flight and the
> passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
> make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without
> trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
> Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa,"
>
> Her response - click.
>
> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
> package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
> Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to
> explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
> state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida
> is a very thin state!"
>
> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
> England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so
> close on the map."
>
> 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a
> car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he
> had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas When I asked him why he wanted
> to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
> will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
>
> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week She needed to know how it
> was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to
> Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
> Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
> Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>
> 7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
> description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
> whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
> checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said
> (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting
> her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I
> came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is
> (FAT) ,and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
> luggage.
>
> 8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
> After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
> cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>
> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
> do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what
> exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is
> 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
>
> 10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
> Florida. Do I have to get on one of t hose little computer planes?"
> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She
> said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
>
> 11. A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
> he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
> about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I
> don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
> those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
> When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times
> and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
>
> 12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
> to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York" I was at a loss
> for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the
> town?" Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
> After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked
> up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino
> anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows
> where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New
> York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The
> reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".

_________________
Shamas O'Dognasty
Gourmet Catering & Septic Tank Cleaning


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