KenLee wrote:
... If you change the way you look at things...The things you look at will change. When you expect to see the ugliness of life...The ugliness is exactly what you see. Its called the Self Fulfilling Prophecy. To look for the beauty in these girls or anyone else does not make you weak, it empowers you and them. Look for the good and the good is what you will find.
I think you've got this backwards and you're not "getting it" either. While "when you expect to see the ugliness of life, then the ugliness is exactly what you see" may very well be true. The same sort of thing can just as easily be said for the way you're advocating looking at things.
When you look at the world through rose-colored glasses, then you will see only what you WANT TO SEE. Look for the good and the good is what you will SEE, but that is not necessarily what will REALLY be there. These guys aren't just "looking for ugliness" as you want to portray it. They're just being
REALISTS. So get your head out of the clouds and wake up and smell the coffee.
You say you prefer girls that you want to spend time beyond just in the bedroom. IMHO, that's perfectly fine. You say you enjoy fine dining. IMHO, that's perfectly fine too. The flaw in your reasoning, the way I see it, is that you seem to think it also always makes sense to put the 2 things together. And IMHO that is simply NOT true. I'll give you a parallel example of your logic that should clearly illustrate why what you're proposing makes so little sense. I like MTB (mountain trail biking). I like doing it with my friends. Does that mean my out of shape friends would really enjoy hitting the trails with me? I somehow doubt it. BTW, Jazzbo drew another good analogy, though I think he may be selling himself a little short in terms of his intellectual horsepower.
If you really enjoy spending time with these chicas outside the bedroom, then try to find something you BOTH can enjoy AND fully APPRECIATE for more than just its price tag. There are LOTS of other things you can do with them. IF you don't like MacDonalds, how about taking them to a simple and modest soda where they'd more easily fit in and probably appreciate the meal just as much (again other than perhaps the fact that you won't be spending so much money on them)? You do eat at least some of your meals at local type places don't you? Or are your eyes closed to more genuine local experiences? Put another way, if you can't appreciate a meal at a soda, how can you expect a relatively unsophisticated chica (who normally eats at sodas) to appreciate a meal at a fancier place (again beyond just the much higher prices on the menu)? How about taking them and their K*ds to the amusement park or the zoo? What, you're not into those things? They'd probably enjoy those things just as much as you enjoy fine dining and you say they enjoy being with you, so (using your logic) doesn't that mean you should enjoy doing those things with them too? One more suggestion, instead of spending more on a meal out for them than they probably spend in a week for themselves on food for their table at home, why not take that same money and go grocery shopping with them so that they can bring good wholesome reasonably priced food home to their bambinos? A simple common everyday experience like that in a foreign country could be a very interesting cross-cultural experience for you, the expenditure would probably be much more greatly appreciated since the girls would have more to show for it afterwards and, if the goal is really simply enjoying the company of your chica then that should work just as well for you. I'm not saying you should necessarily do any of these things with a working girl. I'm just saying they make just about or actually a bit more sense than buying them an overpriced shrimp cocktail.
Frankly, I think these exercises of taking simple uneducated unsophisticated chicas to what, for them, are overly fancy and expensive restaurants is often just as much about somehow trying to impress them with your own "worldliness and sophistication" and/or to butter them up for some sort of seduction, when in reality the only seduction they need are the slips of paper currency in your wallet.
I have to agree with TimBones on this issue 100% for all the reasons he laid out.One last thing for those who disagree and are going to take their chicas to fancier restaurants any way, I have a few words of advice. KenLee said "don't get so shit faced that you don't know what you have ordered and aren't able to do the addition." On that I would definitely agree as I've often said that getting shitfaced is not conducive to practicing this hobby most effectively. OTOH, just as KenLee has his own ideas on how to enjoy himself with the chicas, a lot of other guys have their own ideas on how to enjoy themselves at the meal and while on vacation. For those guys, having a few drinks or bottles of wine with the meal is an essential part of the experience (just as having deep meaningful intellectual conversations with his dinner dates is essential to KenLee). So for those guys staying sober enough to easily calculate out the bill may be something easier said than done.
Personally, if I were to take a chica out for a fancy dinner (which I'm not really about to), I would go one step BEYOND KenLee's advice not to get shitfaced. Say he does read the prices on the menu. What is KenLee going to do when the waiter is at the table and the chica orders the $20 shrimp cocktail? Suddenly tell her no? Maybe or maybe not. At that point he may not want to seem cheap. In other words simply being able to read the prices on the menu, may just mean you have the awkward choice between telling her no and seeming cheap or biting your lip and letting her have whatever she wants.
Not only would I stay reasonably sober and in control. I would find out what the chica wanted to order BEFORE calling the waiter over and/or telling him I was ready to order. It should be much easier at that point to tell the chica what she can or can't have. It is better to set limits and stay in control as that is what latinas appreciate any way. Then when the waiter comes over, YOU place the orders for the BOTH of you. This is really the way they're accustomed to do things in the latin culture any way. Only in places like the gender liberated (or emasculated depending on your viewpoint) US do men and women place their own orders. Be a weak gringo willing to roll over and allow your chica to have anything she wants (like men are accustomed to being in the states) and she'll often take full advantage and roll right over you, whether you can read the prices on the menu or not (and, whether you realize it or not, further lose any respect she might have had for you).
BTW, even if you don't take your chica dates out to such places, the above advice is helpful for even placing simple drink orders at the BM. When you offer to buy a girl a drink ALWAYS ask what she wants BEFORE the waitress is standing there waiting for your order, otherwise she may blurt out some ridiculously expensive drink order and the waitress will run off to fill it before you even know what is happening. If the offer is initiated by a waitress coming around asking if you want to buy the lady a drink, ask her to give you both a minute and come back for your order in a little while, that way you can control what is ultimately ordered. Buying a $5 drink for a chica you fully plan to take back to your room later is one thing, but buying a $10 drink for a chica you're not really so sure of yet (and may just guzzle it down and be off any way) is something else.
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