www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Ok, here we go, day 1...

Drive 100 miles to Ft Laud Airport, arrive at 8:00 PM for an 11:00 PM flight to CR, I highly recommend night flights, you're naturally sleepy and can get a little shuteye on the flight, customs is never busy, got through in about 15 minutes, cab to HDR was fast, no traffic. I arrive about 2:00 AM.

Big mistake, I brought my computer and some other items in a backpack, ended up weighing more than I thought, I could have used my little suitcase on wheels, what was I thinking? I'm 63 with severe back problems and I had to walk all over the airport with that thing on my back, excruciatingly painful and risky, one wrong twist and my vacations ruined, so I move slow, carefully, I look like I'm 87 the way I'm moving.

The pain is nightmarish and I'm swallowing pain pills like a K*D with M & M's on Halloween, so I'm already a little delirious and in a surly mood, nobody to blame but myself. My left shoulder feels like Spock is doing his famous hold there, my lower back feels like a dwarf is back there, repeatedly stabbing me, the tension makes me irritable, I'm supposed to feel excited, this is my first visit in 2 years and have many friends and chicas to visit, but nooo...I start off feeling like hell...I'M DAMN PISSED OFF....at my stupid self...

Soooo...I check in and this fat girl comes right next to me while I'm trying to check in, hugging me, rambling on and on, the check in clerk does nothing, she's not attractive and I'm worried she may pickpocket me, I have my passport and a G in my wallet, 10 ciens... the pain is throbbing like crazy and I'm I'm naturally nervous until I get to the room and safe, I walk around San Jose with never more than $200, I can afford to lose that, but not a thou... The pain is still killing me and saying that I'm surly is an understatement...

Finally, I can't take it anymore and I turn to her and say "Hey honey, bug the fkk off, willya? I'm trying to check in here and you're distracting me, I got no fkkn interest in you, so get the fkk away, you fkkn got me, bitch???" The check in clerk is laughing as she backs off with a shocked look on her face, he says something to her in Spanish, she disappears.

After checking in and unpacking and putting my money etc., in the safe, swallowing another couple pills, I head downstairs to check things out, I'm in too much agony to take a girl tonight, but I want to fertilize my pain pills with a couple drinks for a good night's sleep and just watch the show.

It's a typical Tuesday night, now about 3:00 AM, about 30 girls, most look worn and haggard, their best hoein' days behind them. On a Tuesday night at this time, with about less than 10 guys around, they are desperate. My experience with chicas is very few give a decent massaje as they call it, if I knew one who did, I would pay her just to come up and do that.

So I grab my drink and sit down watching them move around, many come up to me, none to my liking, I brush them off, no arguments. One gawdawfull ass ugly one keeps staring at me, I try to ignore her, she looks like someone put O.J.'s head on a woman, 10 minutes, 20 minutes goes by every time I look back in her direction she's got this piercing stare burning a hole in my brain, it's unnerving.

Where I come from, if a man does that to you, you walk over to him and explode in his face, I kinda wanted to do that, but I held back, these poor women are desperate, I feel sorry for them, this crew is not the cream of the crop making good money at the trade.

Finally I see a decent one, a cutie, just my style sitting by herself in the back bar, she waves at me and giggles, big smile like we know each other. Normally I would talk to her, even if I couldn't go for her at that moment, I might get her phone # for another time, but the drinks are mixing it up with my pain meds, the room is spinning and it's time for bed, I hope I see her tomorrow...

On my way to the elevator, I cross paths with the fat one who was annoying me at check in, she backs away a little nervously and the smile wipes off her face. She deserved a lecture, they should leave you alone when you're checking in, but I was a bit brutal, probably unloading my misery and pain on her, now I feel bad for her.


I hand her $10, no apology, I said "have a good night, honey" and get on the elevator, she is staring at me in shock, trying to figure out what's this all about...

No wonder they call us "crazy gringos"...

More tomorrow...

_________________
Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

Alcazar after ten

Great post, Net. Here's hoping you feel better and are back in the game tomorrow.

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" Omit no happy hour that may give furtherance to our expedition."

Excellent description of the 3am scene...I was there earlier last night. It was active with a good mix of 50 plus chicas. Hopefully your morning was off to a better start!!

Well....I wish I could say it was....

I slept till noon, got up, went to Del-Mar for breakfast, it's too late for their all you can eat special. It's $16, but at 220 lbs, I get my money's worth, usually 3 to 4 eggs, tons of bacon, beans n rice, toast with jelly, several glasses of o.j., they have some kind of chicken in a sauce, why it's considered breakfast I haven't a clue, but I get plenty of that as well, top it off with a couple cups of coffee, dessert and fruit and I'm like an anaconda that just swallowed a pig.

Unfortunately bk is over so I order 2 eggs, bacon and a bagel, somehow it adds up to $16, oh well, I scarf it down and return to my room, decided to lay down for a few minutes and wake up at 5:30. Good thing it's a 10 day vaca, I don't feel all that bad, I guess it's the combo of the tension, the agonizing pain (slowly diminishing) and maybe the fact I swallowed enough pain meds with 2 drinks to kill someone smaller....

O.K. time to get somethings accomplished, I got my passport copied, 1 mil, on avenida 1, one block west of HDR on the right side, it says "copias", I advise everyone do it, then if you are hanging in the gulch I understand it's ok, if you travel outside of San Jose you need your real one.

My pain is still there, not as bad, I ate at the little greasy place across from HDR, if greasy fast food is on your acceptable list, it's one of the best, $6 for nice chicken sandwich and drink, what's on it I'm not sure, but it's good.

I got my lock on my cell phone removed by one of the dealers in the USA, so I head to a phone place I used to deal with close to HDR, they no longer are there, I have some people I want to call...what to do....duhhhh....HDR has a phone in the room...

I have several chicas I know, and some recommended, but tonight I think I'll pick up some strange. I'm sure if I'm patient one will be accommodating and a lousy massage may be better than no massage. Tomorrow I call LA to see if Hilda is still there, if not, I hear Guy's old g/f works somewhere. I miss him and Shoeshine, count your blessings, friends, you just never know when Mr. D comes a calling, make every minute count.

I can't say I did for the last 24 hours but it's time now....Does anyone remember her name and where she works, just in case my favorite Hilda has moved on?

One of these lucky chicas is going to get my backpack unless my youthful associate here Rico wants it, I made the decision to get a little suitcase for my return trip...He lives here now and is an excellent accountant if anyone needs one.

One of my plans this trip was to check the internet connection, I'm semi retired and work part time via internet from my home, it's slow here at HDR, but works, I suspect it's faster elsewhere, I'll be staying for a week at VistaLinda, we'll see how it goes. I'm contemplating retiring here and getting residency or at least staying here several months out of the year, I decided to keep my luxury double-wide in Florida. I'm north of Palm Beach in a little red neck retiree town Port St Lucie, if anyone is close by, hit me up, we'll get together.

All my business sites, my insurance website works, (I sell health insurance and medicare sups and advantage plans nationwide by phone if anyone wants an honest assessment). OK, I got my plug in... my complex work site which allows phone calls, access to other sites, does calculations, etc. works fine.

Would you believe the only site I have problems with is CRT, it doesn't allow access for some reason, but if I go to my email and slip in via "you have a private message from"...it works!!!

I love this site and have made many friends here and many good laughs and recommendations, but jeez, it's technically a mess, but that's a topic for another day.

OK, here's hoping for some better reports in the days ahead.

_________________
Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

Yorlenny and rumor has it she's got a spot at Zona II but I didn't see or hear about it until after I left. They did have a sign up about soapies and I saw a bed covered in plastic in one of the showers but I don't think the two are related.

OK, my pain is diminishing, I got plenty of rest, my ego is a bit bruised, I talked to a friend of mine here, 75 years old, says he carries a backpack all over and goes to the market and walks back with 20 to 30 pounds of food about once a week, walking quite a bit...

In any event, feeling good, time to get down to biz-ness, I head down to the lobby about 9 pm, the stories of HDR's demise is once more proven to be nonsense, I'm seeing maybe 70 or more girls, many gorgeous, maybe 30 to 40 gringos.

So now my testosterone is boiling inside, I'm on the prowl, I've got over a cien in my pocket and some fresh SKYN's and massaje lotion in the room, not a care in the world, I just have to find my choice. Damn, when there's dozens that meet or exceed my requirements, and by the way, I'm picky, it gets difficult, I just have to suck it up, pick one and go.

On my list of "no, just no"...strutting loud hoes with gigantic big grotesque fake boobs, demanding attention, fatties, uglies and oldies, ones with their hair dyed blonde, ones with several friends yakking it up...

I no longer feel like a 63 year old tired gringo with a back in severe pain, I'm now in my 20's or 30's, testosterone is pumping, I can feel my heart pumping, I am strong and powerful. They say big cats pick out their prey and pursue it, even running past other easier catches of the herd....that's what I feel like, I am walking around, surveying the "prey"

I tend to favor the sweet innocent looking mousy type females by themselves or one friend only. I think I spot one, curvy, white skin, medium brown hair, she actually doesn't look Latina at all, more like a regular old USA sexy girl, very intriguing, a pretty face, short skirt, gorgeous legs, nice plump B or C cup, mid 20's, my type.

She's standing by herself, I walk around looking at some others, she's still by herself, I walk over and start making small talk, and she is adorable, giggly, sweet, no "hoe" demeanor. I offer $60, she counters with $80, I like that, no cien demand, I negotiate an hour and 1/2 for the $80 and off we go.

Her name is Miley, probably fake, many girls use fake names, and she performs well, lousy massaje as expected, I was really hoping for a good one, oh well, Hilda or Yorleny tomorrow for a pro massage. Great body, I think she had a real orgasm as she was fingering the hell out of herself while getting pounded, if not, faking it works well for me, I hate the ones who just lay there bored, I told one once I'm not necrophiliac, and I'm expecting at least a little response, she looked it up on her cell the Spanish translation, had a good laugh and woke up a bit...

OK, so downstairs I hang after breaking my virginity, I spot a girl that could be the twin of one of my ex girlfriends who was from Singapore, she had that Asian look I love, I wanted to talk to her to see about a future meaning tomorrow set up, but some young guy grabs her and they are sitting and talking...

Years ago I never saw young guys here, now they're all over, I have mixed emotions about that, I guess they're having fun too, I just remembered I never had any trouble picking up poon tang or having girlfriends before and after I spent 6 years in solitary confinement (being married).

Why travel to a foreign country, spend money on a hotel, etc., but...I guess if they're having fun, why not. I would never even have considered it wayyy back when I could hit any nightclub with my friends and easily 1 out of 2 or 3 visits get lucky for free. Each his own, I have friends back in Florida my age who pick up old bags in their 50's and 60's now and can't understand why I ignore them and come here...

I am feeling better now, the combo of hours of sleep, greasy cheap fast food and hot poon tang did it for me, I will try to set up a meet n greet Friday at SL around 1 pm or so, I'm checking with them first, so if all goes well I'll confirm here and everyone is welcome, newbies and ancient old pros alike, last time we had one lots of newbies and guys who came by themselves, some for the first time made friends and had wingmen and we hit a few places in a pack and took over, it was lots of fun.

Ok, beauty rest time, yea I know, some of my friends would say I need a week sleep for that, but they're all getting on in years as well and you know the glass houses analogy...

_________________
Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

Netgems thanks for letting us know HDR is still alive and well:) Have fun!

Hey NG, great report so far! I don't know Hilda but LA has a girl named Hazel that does massages and is very good. Both the gals at SL (Laura and Francini I think) are good. I prefer Laura as I was sore for 2 days after an hour with the other. And yeah, I also read Yorleny was doing massages at Zona II during the afternoons. I have never met her but her reputation makes me confident she is a good one. And I really doubt she is the one doing soapies if we are talking soapies like they do in Thailand. I am definitely getting one!

See ya next week

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Mako

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

Thanks, you're right, it's Hazel, I get Hilda and Hazel mixed up, there used to be an excellent chica named Hilda at New Fantasy around 2008, 2009, I get them mixed up. I really like Hazel's massage, she inflicts some pain but you're very relaxed afterwards, she really gets the knots out!

_________________
Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

Btw...New fantasy seems to have gone out of business. Walked by mid morning a couple of days ago...shut down. Anybody know anything?

Yes, Laura gives a great massage. Wish there was more on the menu with that one [FACE WITH STUCK-OUT TONGUE AND WINKING EYE]



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OK, It's Saturday, yesterday I exited my alma mater, HDR, and moved to Vista Linda apartments for a week, $150 total! It's a rustic place where you can get a fully furnished 1 bedroom with lots of windows, all ex-pats, the owner, Carlos is very helpful and accommodating. It's about 3 miles or so from downtown, around 2500 colones cab fare but cheap bus ride under 50 cents.

If you're used to and expect luxury, this place is off your list, but it's very nice and simple and pleasant, the neighborhood is working class Tico, not a dangerous hood, I've already walked all over by myself, plenty of little stores and restaurants anywhere from a couple blocks to like 5 or 6 blocks.

I'm picky but I really like it. It's surrounded by walls, a gate and has a guard at night, many guys I spoke with have been here years and never a problem here or in the neighborhood. A nice bargain for experienced guys who know their way around. The grounds are very nice and everything is clean.

No chica news, just dusted a couple old favorites of mine, looking to get some strange next week and issue reports.

I will be at Sportsman's Lodge Sunday around 2:00 PM for lunch with a couple friends, everyone is welcome. Forget it if it's raining, but assuming nice weather, game on. Hope to see new people, come on down, SL has great bar food.

_________________
Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

Never mind the above comment...place still in business. Just irregular opening times in the early weekdays

I believe that she still is there (or another mp) unless something has changed.