www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Figured I’d start a thread about this, even though it’s still in development. It might fail brilliantly as did Rolltide’s Saga, but at least I can promise that I won’t lie about stuff, and if it goes south, I’ll tell ya why.

This thread isn’t about me, nor is it some form of therapy. I have the mirror for that. I know that there are many guys that are happy to monger, day in,day out. To them, this is pathetic. There are others that enjoy relationship at a distance, and prefer to ‘homestead’. They will disagree with my methods. There are still others that have moved there and found partners. To them, my thinking may be wrong-headed.

My needs aren't filled by just mongering or homesteading. And I can’t just move to Costa Rica right now (or that would be my plan). So I am going in this direction, and truthfully it has been the principal purpose of my trips since day one. Many of you have read the references in my trip reports. Since I know there are many brothers out there that (quietly) feel similar (but don’t want to publically talk about it), I figured I’d go ahead and throw my stuff out into the public light. It may help some future fool in his plannings.

I strongly discourage any other guys from bringing a working girl home with you. My decisions are based upon my needs, and my own stupidity. Just because I am doing it doesn’t mean it’s not a very foolish thing to do. Please remember the old axiom: “Who’s more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?”.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

Link to the F-1 Visa: http://travel.state.gov/content/visas/e ... udent.html

ICE overview of SEVIS process: http://www.ice.gov/sevis/students/

Pre-reqs:
She must have a valid passport
No criminal record

Step 1: enroll her in English school in Costa Rica (show student potential)

Step 2: locate a SEVIS-approved local school. http://studyinthestates.dhs.gov/school-search/

Step 3: Apply her to the school as a foreign student needing visa assistance.

Step 4: Receive an I-20 approval from the school.

Step 5: Register and pay the SEVIS I-901 fee. https://www.fmjfee.com/i901fee/desktop/ ... ew=desktop

Step 6: Apply for the F-1 visa DS-160. https://ceac.state.gov/genniv/

Step 7: Pay the MRV tax. http://www.ustraveldocs.com/cr/index.html?firstTime=Yes

Step 8: Make an appointment with the consulate. http://www.ustraveldocs.com/cr/index.html?firstTime=No

[this is where she is at the moment]

Step 9: pass the interview.

Step 10: pick up your passport and visa from the location that you chose.



DOCUMENTS TO BRING: [R]=req’d
[R] Passport.
[R] DS-160 Confirmation Page.
[R] I-20A, Certified from the School.
[R] I-901 SEVIS Payment Receipt.
[R] MRV Payment Receipt.
[R] Appointment Confirmation page.
Her personal Letter - why she wants to come
Family Letter - proof that she has a place to return to
Sponsor Letter - acknowledgement of responsibilities
Police Report
Beautician Certification - proof that she has the ability to work in Costa Rica
Proof of English Studies, Grades - proof of student intentions
Birth Certificate of Ch*ld - to show that she will return home

Problems I have encountered
1. She didn’t have a passport. It took time for her to get it, and for her son.

2. Her mailing address. Jesus!! The school referred to these as Scavenger-hunt information. You need to establish the postal address and hope that nothing gets mailed there. I may have screwed up and used my address on the SEVIS payment form because hers would not fit in the web form.

3. Paying the MRV tax. What a pain in the ass. $160, and the *easiest* method is to walk into the proper Costa Rican bank and pay it with the (time-limited) deposit slip that you printed from the Consulate web page. In order to pay online, you need to do it from a Costa Rican bank account.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

Firstly, why the hell would a somewhat normal Dwarf, of sound mind and body, want to do such a thing in the first place? Seriously, it’s what I need. Mongering is all fine and such, but it is leaving me half-filled more and more. I suppose I should just make do with that, and I could, but those of you who know me understand that I am a planner. I have several ‘needs’ back home that make sense to find a ‘life partner’. That much is acceptable, but why the hell look for this in Costa Rica? Ahh, you see, there are other plans in the offing as well.

Ok, so besides sex, what’s to gain (for me) to bring an ex-working girl back home?

1. Companionship. Seriously. My life is totally devoid of this. I have a young teen K*D, but even when she’s with me, she’s into the social media friends-chat, and I find that I’m on my own much of the time. Sure, Costa Rica is there, but it’s for such a short time that it doesn’t fill the void in me. In a nutshell, I am bored and lonely. (Poor Bashful…)

2. There is no female presence in my home for my young daughter to relate to. I know within a few short years there will be a blow-up between my daughter and her mother, and at that time I will become a full-time parent again. I need to create a balanced environment prior to this.


3. My own mother is aging, and soon there will be the decision to move her down with me, or send her to a death camp and wait for her number to be called. As of now, I am unprepared to take care of an elderly person (and a woman to boot).

4. I myself am aging, and it would be nice to know that there is someone else there to handle the life-alert callback, once I am doing the Dwarf rendition of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”.

Now, all of this is evidence to bringing a woman into my life, but it doesn’t address the “why” of a Costa Rican working girl. I have spoken many times of a Costa Rican future, and one of my side-goals is to establish a ‘network’ of friends there. I have several working girls that I consider friends, and chat to on a regular basis. Sometimes I get the dreaded RFM, but I know these girls, and I can decide if they are yanking my chain or not. That’s my business, and not a part of this thread. It makes sense to ‘drop roots’ in Costa Rica, and so that is where I am limiting my search.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

I began looking for this ‘life partner’ shortly after I split with the wifey. I knew my needs, and I knew it would take time. I had already decided to scrap any desire to find a gringa (for the obvious reasons). Frankly, though I make decent money, I am only able to ‘bottom-feed’ in the dating pool of the USA. I’d rather be alone in that case.

But then! Suddenly! I found out about Costa Rica. I could go and phuck prostitutes at the same time as trawl about looking for a decent woman to take home with me. Jesus, what a pain in the ass that turned out to be. But I kept at it. Every trip I took had a dual purpose. I would meet women on dating sites, try to vet the hookers out as best I could, and then arrange dates to meet these women.

I met a lot of good people, but I started to realize that some of the issues I faced in the USA existed here as well. Let me tell you what I am looking for (Your taste may vary):

1. She’s gotta be easy on the eyes. Beauty isn’t a necessity, but dog-ugly is OUT.
2. She has to WANT to have a life. Not just a sit-at-home wifey thing. She has to have real hopes and dreams, and be intelligent enough to actually try to make it happen.
3. She has to be young enough to MAKE it happen. I learned quickly that once you pass a certain age, you are done growing. She needs to be in the growing stages so that she will tackle the language, grab onto opportunities to better herself, and make her own opportunities.
4. She needs to be able to out-grow me. Whether this means leaving me for someone else, or building a life to be self-sufficient, I want her to move on at some point and leave me behind.
5. Preferably no K*ds, but I’d be willing to adopt. But she has to be ready to accept mine as I am hers. I don’t want a woman that’ll put her K*ds first (equality is the goal).

Clearly this woman doesn’t exist in my sphere of influence, but I can try to come as close as possible. I am sure that you’ve noticed I say nothing about a sex life. Mongering can give me that. My needs are specific, and it doesn’t revolve around intimacy. It would be nice to have, but it’s not the principal purpose of this campaign. I need a female in my life that I can get along with, have fun with, and cover all the bullshit day-to-day dramas that life throws our way.

** with this said, a disclaimer. If anyone thinks they are going to bring back a sex partner and have it last, you’re deluded. If you are not willing to grow her into something far bigger than you are, then you will end up disappointed. Plan to have her leave you. There are plenty more in the pond. But don’t think you’ll keep her in a closet until you need to bust the nut. It simply doesn’t work like that.

The limited words make this sound very clinical. It isn’t. Just read between the lines.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

My main focus was a non-working girl, but I quickly came to realize that several of the chicas I became friends with were decent people, and could meet the limited checklist I had made for myself. And as I am not specifically looking for longevity in the relationship, I decided to review them on a case-by-case basis. But only ones I have met in the course of mongering. I vetted them off of the dating sites.

Ok, so what’s the actual plan, Bashful? Thanks to many other mongers providing me information (and experiences), I am targeting the F-1 student visa. It’s a non-immigrant visa, they must go home afterwards, and it is similar to the ‘test-drive’ 90 day K-1, but cheaper, faster, and safer (for me, in terms of her deciding to remain as an illegal immigrant). I posted the roadmap already.

I dated over a dozen women, slowly moving the age limit lower and lower because I couldn’t seem to find the growth potential I was looking for. Sure, many would make great housewife/moms, but I don’t want an IRS exemption here. If she isn’t passionate about making a career, then I just moved on to the next one. Hence, the age issue. It seems to me (in the limited exposure I have had) that the female Costa Rican mindset revolves around knocking out Babi*s and generally surviving.

I did meet some that met this criteria, but I failed them for other issues on the list. I had a large time-investment into a Nanny in Escazu, but ultimately it failed and I sank into a depression funk. That’s when I met Samantha at an MP. She was the lamest working girl I had ever experienced, but for some reason, I kept returning to see her every day, every trip.

I got to know her better through Whatsapp. I am sure she saw the potential ‘gringo-savior’ in me, but I have become used to that. I know the questions to ask, and many of the red flags to weigh. I learned about her ‘plans’, and was interested when she finished her ‘beauty’ certifications, quit the MP and was able to survive doing hair and nails for neighbors. (She wants to open her own place, and though she has zero business skills, the potential in her is there.)

Once I exhausted the Whatsapp capabilities to ‘know’ her, I went the next step and met the family. I documented this, and have been happy so far. It hasn’t been what I expected (which was negative), and even if she and I called it off, I would be very happy to remain connected to her immediate family.

She also has a baby. This is a huge red flag. In conversations (poking and prodding to discern potential futures), she stated an interest in traveling to my home. But as I inferred the baby may not be able to go, she backed out. She would not leave her baby behind. So it was imperative that I meet the K*D, and decide for myself if she was a real mother, if the family had evil intentions upon me, and if the K*D was demon spawn.

She is also 27 years younger than me. Yeah! That ain’t gunna last. But that is the EXACT point. I don’t want it to last. If we stay together and retire to Costa Rica, great. If I do it alone, and she remains in the USA, then more power to her. The age thing isn’t that big a deal, based upon the needs in play.

So, the stage is set. Ol’ Bashful’s gunna try to reel one in. The reasons I chose Samantha are not important to you. The process I am using is.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

oh, I should have stated the plan. I am paying for 3 months of classes. This allows her to enter the US 30 days before they start, and remain 60 days after they end. So that gives us 6 months (better than the 90 day K-1) to try out the relationship.

I can extend the school by getting another I-20 (renewing her student seat), I can marry her and convert her to Immigrant, or she can return home.

This is the least damaging way I know of to spend time together and see what transpires.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

This is extremely interesting to me. I hope you don't mind if a man of my limited posts here on this board picks your brain a bit?

I have read quite a bit of material about dating and marriage with women abroad. It seems, and it is my hope, that the "Provider" type of man is more valued in other cultures than ours. It also seems that Marriage and commitment is valued more, though reading the posts here contradicts that notion, I can't tell if that's strictly working girl subculture or if it's Costa Rican culture.

Obviously you must already have a personal connection, but do you feel that she values your ability to provide and be a stable influence in her life? Sort of that old fashioned mindset? I hope you don't mind the personal question, but do you two love each other? or is it more a mutual fondness or... ?

One issue that I wonder about is the damaging influence of American culture. Do you have any concern about your girl becoming influenced by the entitled mindset that many "Gringas" tend to have? Does she have an awareness of American culture, just out of curiosity?

I'll stop there. Really curious to see how this plays out. Buena Suerta!

Tedious

Dwarf, good luck on your journey, but I have some questions.

How is this cheaper than a k-1? 3 months of classes plus the visa fee is less than $450?

A k-1 is not a test drive visa. Unlike the way that the show “90 day fiancé” portrays it as a trial visa, it’s not how USCIS views it. It’s for couples who are engaged and ready to marry. The 90 days is time to plan the wedding, not to see if she will like it or if she really wants to marry. Safer? In either case, you are not responsible for her once she goes out of status and decides to stay in country illegally. Only when applying for the greencard, do you sign an I-864 which you agree to support her.


Who told you that she can convert an F-1 to an immigrant visa? F-1 doesn't convert to any other type of visa. An F-1 can marry a US citizen and adjust status to permanent resident (green card). However, the key is to convince the immigration officer that she has no intent to emigrate when she arrived in the US. That may be difficult seeing that her boyfriend paid for the entire process. If they determine that she had intent, she will have committed visa fraud and be subject to a lifetime ban from the US. You helping her may also face fines. [/quote]

I hope that you don’t actually believe this. Any woman who would choose a man over her K*ds is worthless.

That’s an expected response.

Huh? Am I missing something? You DON’T want it to last? Then why the Phuck would you go through all the trouble to get her here, so she can get a greencard and meet another guy? That’s either the most altruistic gesture or the most insane, I can’t decide which.

It sounds like you are looking for a live-in nanny and caretaker. Have you discussed your plans with her? Does she know that you plan to still travel to Phuck hookers? Are you planning to co-mingle your finances?

In my opinion, the reason that most of these international relationships fail is due to misguided expectations (on both sides). A lot of the women think that they are coming to the US to live the American dream, but end up in no so dreamy situations (financially, emotionally, etc). And the guys think that they are getting a sex slave, nanny, and a maid.

That's exactly what it is....Tedious. Bringing a Latina to the US from Costa Rica is very tedious, particularly under either a Fiance' VISA or a Marital VISA. All it takes is the female at the US Embassy to just not want to approve the VISA and you are done even after spending mucho dinero.

However, it seems the Student VISA is almost unbelievably easy. If you enroll her in the Berlitz English Language class in San Jose and get them to help with a transfer to a US Berlitz school, it can be shockingly easy and fast. After the first term at the US Berlitz school, you can enroll her in a Free ESOL school in your local town and the Student VISA continues. Likewise, it appears the Adult Education programs that exist in many states will also qualify so that she can get her high school diploma in the US.

But here's the sweet spot..... Under either a Fiance' VISA or Marital VISA you as her sponsor have to agree to be financially responsible for her (and Babi*s) for 5 years even if she leaves you during the first month in the US. However, for the Student VISA you are only financially responsible for one year, AND she can travel back and forth to Costa Rica during the year. Plus, she can get a green card in the second year of her Student VISA. If you and she choose to marry in the US, then you can apply for a Marital VISA while she is in the US under the Student VISA.

This is the way it was when I was on this fools errand. Things may have changed but I doubt it, since our Congress has been unable to address our immigration laws in many years.

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Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

Don't know how long ago you went through the process Lennydo, but it has changed, since the good old days of the INS.

Since 911 and the creation of the Department of Homeland Security and their enforcement arm ICE, the interpretation of visa categories have become very strict and by the book. The old system of getting to the U.S. legally on any visa category (turist, student, etc.) then marrying an American citizen and changing the status to immigrant by applying for residency, are gone. Now, if you do this (marry in the US a non-immigrant status visa individual) it is to the sole discretion of the immigration case official to establish that you and your spouse's intentions were not to get married for visa purposes when she entered the U.S. If they don't buy it...your life plans are doomed and the señorita is on her way back to her home country, with restrictions for re-entry to the U.S. for ten years to forever!

I've spoken to immigration attorneys. They, of course, recommend following the rules and going through the appropriate channels to get the appropriate visa approved.

Having said that, what BD is doing so far sounds OK. student visa as a "spending some time up here to see how it goes". But if they have longer plans for her to remain here, she will have to go back to CR, then from down there apply for a K1 visa or the more complicated process of getting married down in CR and applying for spousal immigration status. Like Orange posted above, just don't make the mistake of thinking that after being here on a student visa for a few months you can just get married and automatically change status to immigrant. Very dangerous game to play...

In order for the Ch*ld to leave Costa Rica, the father must appear in person before immigration authorities and given written permission for the Ch*ld to leave the country. Without that permission, the Ch*ld isn't going anywhere until they turn 18. Now if she didn't name a father on the birth certificate, you are in the clear.

Good luck...

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The only thing that matters is happiness in all it forms...

checked on this first. The father refused to sign the BC, so the baby is only under the control of the mother. I would not have continued if there was a father that needed to be paid off.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

Add up all of the charges. Did you pay for her medical exams and all the other hoops required for the K1? If she gets denied, no classes get paid for. I'm only out the roughly $300 in taxes and stuff.


the K-1 is only good for 90 days, non-renewable. The F-1 can be renewed indefinitely for no additional charges.
In the case of the K-1, she can file abuse charges against you, and can still receive her green card, if she can show that she came here with honest intentions. Until she is officially deported, you are responsible for any healthcare bills she wracks up until the case is closed by INS.


few visa types have an automatic conversion feature. But, non-immigrants visitors can easily apply for immigrant status, if they can show a valid reason. In a pinch, a K-1 CAN be filed and processed entirely in the USA, with no requirement to return home. But if they did require it, she is still on her F-1 (actually the I-20 allows her re-entry), she can come and go as necessary.



it's called hedging. There is no way she will be happy with me for more than 10 years, and honestly, I'm sure I'll be over it by then as well.
Don't draw boxes around job titles. It doesn't reflect reality. I am a worker, a maid, a nanny, and a care provider. Anyone that partners with me brings resources and needs. These get sum-totaled and responsibilities divided.

Your responses are well received. I'd like this thread to have this kind of information for others to digest.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

No, I am not in love with her. I learned from friends on this board to NOT lead with my heart. (Though I seem to lead with my chin, according to lenny ). She is young, and I do believe she is in love with me. But to be honest, we barely know one another. So I'd color it as 'puppy love'. She wants a man in her life, and she's seizing on a potential mate. It's normal.

She's not 'hardened' yet. She's not been exposed to the hardships that cause it. She lives with family, and she works. She really doesn't need a 'rescue', but she knows her net worth: the Ch*ld lowers her appeal to a decent potential mate. That makes me look more 'attractive'.

And she was quick to expose me to the Ch*ld. She is hoping that I fall for him, and that makes her look more 'attractive'. (It worked. I'm not dumb, but I am a soft-hearted dope. I absolutely love the K*D, and even if we do not link up, I will probably stay connected and provide for him.)

Right now, she is easy to control (or steer). It's the 'father figure' thing that many younger girls are attracted to. However, she's 20. She will grow up and become her own woman. In CR she would become one person. In the US, she will become another. All I can do is wait and see. But I can talk to her, and point out examples for her to self-evaluate. In the end, it's a crap-shoot.

As to the 'marriage is valued more', I believed this until I started actually experiencing Costa Rica. I have no experience of other places, so I don't know if CR is the same, or not. But I'm not so sure that view is valid there.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!