www.CostaRicaTicas.com

This morning I received a PM asking how I explain my trips to my wife and looking for suggestions on creative thinking for their next visit. The gentleman has been to CR once and loved it and is looking for suggestions of how to play it with his wife.

As my wife approves of my mongering and accompanies me on occasion, I am not the best to answer this. I have looked for the threads that covers this matter but I cannot find them.

Would the more experienced here assist and list threads and/or suggestions that might assist the member please?

Have a Great Day,

Dave

Here's a couple past threads on the topic-
https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=21297
https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=14697

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Thanks for the assistance.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

I LOVE it when guys leave their wives' and girlfriends' home alone. That's MY time to become Jody and go in that back door.....yes indeedy do.....were it not for married women and girl's with boyfriends, my adult life would have been sheer, utter, misery.....than again I'm the poor victim who is all by my lonesome at Christmas, birthday, blah, blah, blah. It's ever so terrible. NOT!

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"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."
- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 16

I too would be hard-pressed to find creative ways to lie, deceive and potentially hurt the woman to whom I pledged "'til death do us." So, I don't lie.

Mrs. Ciego is quite aware of my reasons for travelling to C.R. She has asked particulars, and I have held back nothing.

Our marriage has never been stronger.

Guys, don't lie to your wife/girlfriend. If you're going to C.R. to play, she has the right to know. If she goes ballistic and reacts violently (or legally), you married the wrong girl in the first place.

By the same token, I would adopt the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Don't volunteer information, but don't lie if pressed on the issue. Many wives are perfectly happy with the simple answer: "I need to get away, the hotels and food are cheap, and I have fun with guy-friends I've met through the Internet" usually is enough for many women.

In the case of Mrs. Ciego, she enjoys hearing about some of the nitty-gritty of my P4P experiences, but she is now very worried about what she perceives as increasing danger from crime.

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.

I reserve the right to comment until his divorce is final....

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Women are like beers. I've never had one that I didn't like. Just some that I like more than others! --Western

Blasphemy I know, but have you considered the truth?

If you love her and you intend to grow old with her but the "heat" has gone out of your sex life you might just tell her. If you are hitting your fifties and you feel the years available for you to play with young women are growing short, you love your wife as your best friend but the sex is just not the same, try telling her.

Let her know that she is the one for you but that you are not satisfied with your life and you want an adventure.

Yes, there is some risk involved but there is also the chance that you can have your cake and eat it, too. There is a greater risk involved in cheating, in my opinion.Every guy I know who started out going to CR for flings behind his woman's back has wound up divorced and taken to the cleaners. They are not so understanding when they find out you have been lying to them for years.

I truely don't understand guys who are willing to risk everything by lying and cheating on someone they say they love but who are completely unwilling to tell that person a little bit of the truth about who they really are and what they really want. They would rather live a lie for as long as they can, looking at the face of a deceiver in the mirror everyday, knowing in the back of their head that someday the whole thing will explode, rather than risk losing her or getting a lot closer to her, by telling the truth.

Think of how much better the negotiating position is when the man is telling the woman "his feelings" and "innermost desires" while innocent of any wrong doing? How much worse is his position once she discovers that he has been lying to her and cheating on her for several trips?

How crazy is it that many of you are thinking me crazy for suggesting honesty as an option?

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"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Good thread to read because it ends up that perhaps all the subterfuge that Mikey thought was fooling the wife was in fact playing right into her plan to fool him.

My experience is most spouses know when the other is cheating on them and remain silent for various reasons. That is not to say you should "throw it in their face" but remember your cover story is more likely being tolerated and accepted then being believed or at least suspected of being untruthful.

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Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

When a guy tells me he is married It always makes me wonder how does he pull it off
I was never unfateful to both of my wives just could not do it
Everybody has CR thier way
And I think the trip must be much better if you are not worried about get home time
For the guys and SG that can come with no morral issues hanging over your head
Its a fun ride and I keep putting quarters in

God bless the lying and the "complicated lives" of many, many men because, trust me, I have yet to experience a locked back door, and it is better than the CR pro: Nothing like a woman GIVING you a piece of pusssssssy!!!!

And for the ney bobs who think wifey or girl friend is being all "that" when you're out playing....hahahahahhahahahahhahahaa.........they are wired just like us mentally and emotionally, and, thank God MY old square peg DOES fit in the round hole....all THREE of them....

_________________
"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."
- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 16

If you like to fish, then there's no better excuse than sea fishing here in CR, and the best part is that you can't really bring the fish back so you don't have to prove it.. maybe go out on th eboat for a day and take some pics to show to the wife.

If you play poker, then there are a number of "soft" poker games here that might be a great excuse as well, especially if you live in an area where it's hard to find a good game. You'll spend about the same as going to vegas, so why not?

Maybe you can get your work to provide you an alibi. Maybe you have a buddy who wants to go spend a "boys week" with the guys. There's lots of potential, legitimate excuses.

If none of those work for you, and you can't tell her the truth, then maybe you need to take up some new hobbies

Pac, these ara all very good points you bring up and after all honesty is supposed to be the best policy, but SORRY I just don't see it working ! Im trying to visualize a situation where 55 yo Dick is telling 52 yo Jane that he still loves her and always wants to be with her BUT I just need to escape to CR 2 or 3 times per year to bang hot 19 yo Latinas. Nope, don't see Jane saying "sure honey, I understand....run along and have a great time".

Even if you pull it off and she agrees to go with it she will not be forgetting about your betrayal to her. No woman out there wants to hear that she is no longer capable of fulfilling her man's innermost needs and desires.

Sorry but I will stay single untill I encounter the woman who can make me want to control my lusts and committ only to her. Im sorry but I feel when you enter into a monogamous relationship that is what it is supposed to be, 2 people truly committed to each other in every way!
Because truth be told us having the ability to control our most base desires is all that separates us from the animals!

JMHO,

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Rainman3

Yeah, honesty is the best policy, but when you know that if you're honest you will destroy the person you're telling, then... Honesty isn't so good...


Personally I have clients in Guatemala and CR that I go visit for business...

The fact that I've gone to CR for business a hundred times and not seen my client never gets mentioned...

Ah, a great neighbor and friend.

Some guys might actually be able to but if they were in the kind of situation where for the past 20 years a prudish or closed minded wife got hurt or jealous if he even looked at another woman there's probably little chance of her opening her mind.

But if it's a woman who has always been relatively secure and might not see it as such a threat I suppose it's possible. But even then she's probably thinking the girls are nasty and dirty "hookers" or that they were sold into slavery or whatever.

It depends on the person and the situation, and even if she's open minded she's probably not going to say right away "fantastic, you know I was going to suggest this a year ago but wasn't sure you would be interested".

Although I am new to this forum, this topic hits home. I will be married to my fiancee in a couple of months after 5yrs of ups and downs. I have to say that after 5 yrs, we have gotten to know each other pretty well. She is a wonderful women who has stuck by my side even after finding out some of my extracurricular activities during my relationship. I agree with both of you to a certain degree. The truth is great when your women can “Handle The Truth” which I think 99% of women say they can handle it just to find out everything you have doing, so they can decide how they use it against you…later. Let me tell you, in my case I tried both and neither worked. She cold-busted me once when we lived separately with pictures of me and other women on my computer. There was no way for me to deny it and had to confess some of my activities. (Note..I said...”some” of my activities). After several arguments, interrogations, and my justifications, and explanations of how men work, she decided to stick it thru in hopes to change me. I went-thru a 6-month nightmare with constant questions and insecurities on her part, until I assured her that it won’t happen again and pressed to bury the issue. I assured her that I will not lie to her anymore and stop my activities.

Well, 2 yrs later I have finally realized that I have a sexual addiction, and that my physical need to be with other women every now and then is too strong for me to stay physically committed to one women. Does this make me a bad person? No! I love my family and will do everything in my power to keep us happy even if I have to lie. On the other hand, I am emotionally committed to her, and will never let any other women get close enough for me to doubt my relationship. I think if we are on this site, we all have the same type of addictions. Therefore, with that said, the question here is how do we keep satisfying our addictions(hobbies;), without letting the wife know? Or, should we let her know?

I agree with Pacifica55 …going thru years of lies to cover-up who you really are sucks, and sometimes the risk is not worth the lies. It will hurt a lot more when it finally explodes in your face(unless you plan your dirt right). However, after the experience I went thru, Honesty was not the best policy. I could’ve saved a lot of pain for both of us if I would’ve covered my tracks. Although she accepted my faults, we both know she will never forget and given the opportunity, she will dig up her feelings of betrayal to try to make me feel guilty all over again.

I also agree with Rainman3… there are usually no women who would accept the fact that you are going on vacation to bang a bunch of other hot chicks, while she stays at home taking care of the K*ds, cooking, and waiting for you with open arms. For those who have accomplished this, hats off to you; but, don’t expect her to be as innocent on your trips away as you might think she is. There are many people I know who have opted to be swingers for this same reason. The truths is out, and all can get in on the fun. I am not exactly that mature yet in letting my wife get banged by another guy. Still a little selfish. So, I will opt for option #2…

The fact of the matter is that desiring or being with other women while you are in a relationship is not exactly cheating! It’s called being a “man.” Maintaining two so-called monogamous relationships w/out the women knowing..IMO is cheating. I disagree with the comment you made about “meeting a woman who can control your innermost desires and commit to her only.” There is no woman who can control a man’s innermost desires to stay physical with one women for the rest of his life. You will eventually get bored of phucking the same woman no matter how great in bed or how beautiful she is! That is what we are pre-programmed to do. So accept it! Whether you follow-thru with your desires or not is your purgative, the urge to touch something new will always be there! When you get strange ass, in a weird way makes you want to treat your woman better and desire her more.(it feels new again for some reason).

The moral to this story is if you feel that your woman can actually “Handle the Truth” without holding a grudge, feel betrayed, stay faithful, wait for you with open arms while you are gone taking care of your innermost desires….then TELL THE TRUTH! Just don’t be blind to the fact that one day she will ask to do the same. Women get bored too!

Now, if that option does not pertain to you, IMO…I say DENY…DENY..DENY till the day you die (even if she catches you in bed with the chick). This type of woman will never let you have the cake and eat it too. Unless you are rich! I will have to opt for option 2 for now…