www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I have gone to CR seven times in the last year, so it is tough to explain my affinity for the gulch to my wife. In order to keep the peace at home, I tell her that I am traveling on business to cities within the US. To accomplish this successfully, there are a few things that I do.

For those of you who are single or are the king of your household, this is not for you. The following is for those of us who have nagging wives who are constantly investigating our whereabouts:

There are 5 steps that I take and they are:

1. International Calling Plan - If you don’t have one already, purchase an international phone or add international service to your current plan. And make sure that Costa Rica is on the list of countries that your phone will work in. Rates vary, but in general, you will probably end up paying $1.99 per minute for inbound and outbound calls. On the day of your trip, you can forward your calls to your international phone or simply do nothing, if your phone already has international service. Once you arrive in Costa Rica, your phone will automatically pick up the local signal. I use Cingular, so when I arrive in San Jose, my phone screen changes from Cingular to I.C.E. I am not sure what the acronym stands for, but I get a perfect signal every time. Important – tell your wife that you will call her each day and not to call you. The reason for this is your wife my notice that your phone no longer rings while in Costa Rica; instead, she will hear strange beeps and might get suspicious. Simply call her each evening at an agreed upon time. Preferably not while you are in the Del Rey, because your may get distracted…. I will typically call my wife between sessions while I am in my room taking a much needed siesta.

2. Gifts and Souvenirs – In order to make sure that my trip is legit, I must bring back souvenirs and gifts for the wife and K*ds. Since I am not supposed to be in Costa Rica, I obviously cannot bring Costa Rican t-shirts or other items. Instead, I get online a few weeks before the trip and purchase US “city stuff”. I have the items sent to my office and the day of the trip, I discreetly put the items in my luggage and presto! For example, during my last trip to Costa Rica, I told my wife that I was traveling to Chicago for business. A few weeks before the trip, I purchased a few Chicago Bulls jerseys for the K*ds and a Starbucks “Chicago” coffee mug for my wife. When she arrived at the airport to pick me up, I had a bag full of Chicago goodies for her and the K*ds.

3. Business Itinerary – If you want to make sure that your wife does not suspect that you are going on a sex vacation, you can create a fictitious travel itinerary. Simply go online and begin the booking process for a trip to a popular US city of your choice. Next, use Snag-it or other software to copy the screen shots of your flight, hotel, and rental car. Paste the information into a Word Document and print it out. Take it home and lay the page down somewhere where she will find it. She will think that you dropped it, so she will read it and give back to you. Since women have a photographic memory, make sure that your itinerary matches your post trip story. This official looking travel itinerary will make her feel relaxed in the fact that you are truly on business and not doing something else.

4. Packing – if your wife is like mine and watches you pack, you must ensure that you are packing business attire. Slacks, polo shirts, and black socks should do the trick. You don’t want her to see you packing shorts, sandals, and a straw hat. If you are driving yourself to the airport, go ahead and pack two bags of luggage. One for her to see and one for the actual trip. If she is taking you to the airport, you have to get a bit more creative. I simply pack my jeans at the bottom and slacks and polos on the top. When I arrive in Costa Rica, I wear jeans and a polo shirt. The Del Rey is a classy establishment, so jeans and a polo is not overdressing. In fact, the chicas like a well dressed gringo!

5. Other – make sure that you get online and check the weather and current events for the place that you told her that you were going. This way, you can have light banter about the trip when you return home. Maybe there was a storm in the area, parade, or other event that will further solidify the fact that you were truly in the US and not in the Gulch.

These 5 steps may seem like overkill, but it works for me. I am currently preparing for next months trip to San Jose. I think I will tell her that I am going to New York or maybe Seattle. Got to go and purchase some Yankees or Mariners jerseys online. Thanks for listening….

Mikey Styles

MS those are some pretty creative ways of hiding your trips to Costa Rica. I'm glad that i'm not married because i know that i would slip up at some point.

A lot to think about and do for you married guys, glad I'm not one.
Sure hope she doesn't find your passport or credit card statements.
ShyOne

James Bond isn't a patch on you!

Good point! I use my Providian Visa card for my trips to CR and the statement is sent to my office. However, it is probably best to set up paperless billing if available. As far as the passport is concerned, my wife thinks that I don't have one. In fact, we have discussed that we do not need one since neither of us travel outside of the US. I keep it well hidden among my porn collection; she would never look there....

good info mikey another thing you could do is call a buddy in the city you are suppose to be in then have him three way your call home.

Good point Butch. I may have to try that one on our next trip!

Becareful with your cell phone. ATT's Vmail system works differently overseas.

I am so glad i am divorced! I just sneak away for a few days each month.

Buddy, all i can say is, i like your style. I'm not married, but if i was, i would be doing the same things you are. Kudos!

Yeah, those long beeps when you call Costa Rica are odd the first few times you call.

Mikey it sounds like you got most basis covered. When I was married soooooo....many years ago I came close a few times to being busted for my mongering habit. and like you and everyone else I was very careful about covering my tracks. But you know sometimes shit happens or you can get a little careless.

I made a visit to a massage parlor that wanted to see my ID. The provider who seemed a bit paranoid walked out of the room with it and returned with it in a few minutes. She told me she made a Xerox of it so they would know who I was the next time I visited. Since I was kind of young red flags never went up. I had the session and it was pretty lame, so I never went back. I just sort of forgot about it. That is until four months later. My then wife and I had just returned from a long weekend when the phone started ringing. Thank gawd I was the one who answered it. A detective was on the other end. The massage parlor had been busted and the copy of my driver’s license was amongst the records they picked up in the bust. The detective questioned me over the phone for about ten minutes about visiting the massage parlor. Of course I denied ever being there and we both knew I was lying but he did let up on me but said he may be calling again. Though he never did, I sweated it for several months.

Another time I had a really fine session with a favorite provider one day after work. I was in a hurry afterwards to get home on time. But in my haste I put my knit shirt on inside out. My then wife noticed it about five minutes after I got home. There was deep suspicion in her voice. It was a lot easier being questioned by the detective on the phone. She just wouldn’t let up. But...I stood my ground, it was my only option. She would question me about it every so often for about a year. Just shows what can happen if you don't pay attention to all the details.

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"Guess what?! I've got a fever, and the only prescription... is more cowbell!"
Christopher Walken

If your wife thinks you are in the States when you are in CR, how does she contact you? What happens if you get injured or sick? Have you guys developed plans for if the wife does find out? Have you moved some of your money or assets? Do you think she will divorce you or try to "repair" the marriage?

I don't know. There are so many variables outside of one's control, it seems that EVENTUALLY your luck may run out. My wingman and another guy I know both got caught mongering in CR. My wingman did something stupid and opened himself up for it, the other guy got accidentally sold out by his buddies. I guess for a lot of the married guys it would cost them much more to simply get divorced than to take the risk of getting caught mongering.

To the guy who started this thread, thanks. I'm 31 and most of my friends are starting to get married now. This reminds me that I made the right choice not to.

While you are hiding your jeans under your slacks in your suitcase, your gringa wife is looking in her closet for her little skirts to show the boys at the local clubs at night while you are out partying on your business trips.

I wonder how many strange dicks she has had in her while you are on your own trips?

Yep... your luck is likely to run out and the question you need to ask yourself is..... will CR have been worth it?

Berk.......

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FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

Damn Mikey, you took a page right out of my book. The problem with that exercise is that it really takes away from the pleasure of the trip. I mean, really, how can you enjoy it when you have so many other things to think about? I know, I was there once. Eventually, you will get the question of "What hotel are you at?" And, "When you get in your room give me a call and let me know your room number." For the longest time, I never was even asked for the info. But, as I have said before, the female persuasion has a 6th sense. She probably already knows or has a good idea that the trips are not "business." Good chance she doesn't know the exact location of your fun but, that is EASY enough to find out.
Did you know that she can get your flight itinerary from any airline? She can call, for example, AA and ask for Mikey Stiles itinerary and easy get that info. It sucks but it's true. A girl in CR recently found out that after I left CR, I didn't return directly to Chicago. I went Minneapolis to visit my daughter. No way to lie about it, she got the info from Delta.

Great list and some really creative ideas. I just decided rather than continue with the never ending lie and deception that I would just put an end to the commitment. What the hell? I wasn't going to stop so I might as well free my mind and enjoy it. Now the only ones that I need to bullsh*t are the people I work with. That is a chore in itself. But, a word of advice about the phone. Get something like Yahoo voice. Get yourself an incoming, local number. You can have your numbers forward to it. Then, it is a normal ringtone and if you don't answer it goes to voicemail. Good luck!

dapanz1

Good point! Given the opportunity, all women cheat; even my lovely wife! I wouldn't put it past her.