www.CostaRicaTicas.com

JAG,
You did not get played. You played the game. The way you asked the question makes me think that whether you realize it or not you already knew the answer. You went down had a wonderful GFFE experience, went with it but at the same time knew in the back of your head that it was too good to be true and in the end did not pay that much more than what most of us would pay for a 24 hour date.

HOWEVER, DON'T SEND HER ANYMORE UNTIL YOU GO BACK. You paid her enough for her time and you paid her to leave. Never ever pay a chica in CR, when you're back in the states. Its okay for her to try and get something out of you as long as you get something out of her, but you can't do that while you're in different countries. She's definitely playing you, paying too much gives her control of the relationship. Live the fantasy while you are there, pay a reasonable amount to help her out in proportion to what you get out of it and leave it at that. It is virtually impossible to have a real healthy emotional relationship with a girl you met as a hooker.

Jag,

That is the essense of the GFE- it is their job to tap into that part of us that wants to be loved, that wants to think we are the only ones, the best, the..whatever.. and, the fantasy only works if we allow part of ourselves to go their, to believe it. Any guy who enjoys the GFE fantasy finds himself moving towards that line, that place where we momentarily, and then more than momentarily, forget the truth. Also, it is often real that we conect with someone and there is an emotinal bond. Mix that bond and sex and we can confuse passion for compassion. It is powerful shit, it is what many of us come back for.

And, it is fantasy- and in the end, forgetting this leads to disaster...

As Prolijo and others have said, keep the green in your pockets until you get down there....

Do the Vebas Bob prescription for going overboard (as prescribed to a fellow member)- five girls in rapid sucession.

Psychman

_________________
I said hey baby, take a walk on the wild side.
Lou Reed

YO Jag,

A bunch of "heavy hitters" have weighed in here with wise advice for you: Even your own intuition tells you that you are being played. What more do you want, bro? SNAP OUT OF IT!!! NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU WANT IT, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FIND "TRUE LOVE" WITH A WHORE YOU MET AT THE B.M. OKAY???

"Wise Advice is but the daughter of Experience: Although, of the two, Experience is the best teacher, her lessons are often expensive, long, and painful."

Afraid you might be missing out on something "super-special"? Bring on the pain then, brother...bring on the pain!

She'll be fu*ckin' the snot outta' the next guy down there, while you'll be on your way to throwing your money away at the local W.U. office.

So be it then, amigo...knock yourself out!

Feelin' like you found that "one in a million"? Why don't you just marry her too then, while your at it, so you can know for sure?

Jeez, already!

CCP

Love her all you want, just don't give her anything.
No money, gifts etc.
See how long she is sweet on you, and 100% loyal to you

Its a trick, man. If someone is lying to you, and you find out the truth, would you keep believing the lie instead?
Alas, this does sometimes happen.
Recognize the magnitute of what you are risking.

KS

_________________
check yourself before you wreck yourself

Yes you got played, BUT since you only laid out 40k, you did GOOD! Just don't send her money.

JAG, run don't walk AWAY from the WU office It aint real buddy, 5 trips to CR this year, my first girl down there suckered me out of about $800.00 total However her ultimate goal was to have me marry her so I could bring her to the states I said if I marry you, I'm living here and my business could thrive down there. She even went as far as trying to get me to have sex sans condom so I would knock her up
I didn't give in to the temptation although I've had a vasectomy. But who knows who else she pulled this BS with So this is advice from someone who thought it could be love, it aint! Use Vegas Bob's advice, 5 chicas one after the other, try Zona Blue, or Oasis.
Sparky

_________________
Sparky
Get in line to ride the lightning!!!


Almost legally single again! Voy a Colombia otra vece!!

Now Sparky, you and I both know you're not as hard core as all that! Need I mention any names? And since I am in no position to throw stones I won't!

Pura Vida Buddy!

_________________
GG
"Last time I said no......I misunderstood the question!"

Exactly! (Underpar always hits the key points) Enjoy it -- you enjoy gambling, don't you? That's mostly money thrown away, for some odd recreational quirk you have, isn't it? (I only go for games where I think I have an edge.)

Keep two parallel tracks going in your mind (this is a mind-expanding experience, no?) -- one for LOVE and the other for MONEY.

Keep track of the evidence that adds up for each. (You'll have plenty of time when you get home to replay the details of how you were treated under each category.) You'll never be completely sure which is the right answer, and would it be as much fun if you were?

And, when you think about it, how much do women anywhere separate love from money? What is marriage all about anyway?

I think a woman may be happiest (and most giving) when she is making her big score. I think maybe these Ticas we adore live along a continuum line where Love and Money are not separated by much distance. (Anyone ever done an analysis on the locations of the female brain centers related to each of these?)

I've gotten the "THANK YOU THANK YOU!s" Capo mentioned (without the invoice hit at the end) for surprise gifts, and it's a thrill that stays in memory, but I think there is an expectation that you will always pay, and pay some more. A very strong expectation.

An expectation that will eventually probe for the limits to your generosity. (I think this is part of female instinct, worldwide.) Maybe it is her way of asking, "Do you really want ME? Then prove it."

And when you try to take things out of the professional realm, into the social, romantic, or "saving the semi-pro", that expectation by her is still there, and now the price is no longer being SPECIFIED! in any way that two non-language-sharing people can easily understand.

When she can't tell you the "price" for her company any longer, there is room for misunderstanding, and that becomes the real test of the sincere relationship, on both sides. Then it becomes about the building of trust, where two people can relax together, and enjoy the most enjoyable things they can share.

Monetarily, it means that you, The Man, "take charge", and PAY for things. That is "what Men do", in her view of the world. Want to enjoy the company of women? Work hard, take what you want, and pay for it, wisely.

Here's where you learn more about your heart, and what it takes for it to trust. (And if your heart ain't in it...) So, that Russian saying comes in here: "Trust, but verify..."

And, really, I don't think even marriage (when you have supposedly verified everything going on, and now are supposed to trust completely) even qualifies as Easy Street by comparison. (It's just that you have to finally mostly trust, in order to get on with doing you job, raising family, etc.)

In Cr, we're on vacation. We're at our most relaxed, and this old stuff presents itself. But -- it's in a situation where we're really NOT under pressure to "succeed". It's really a candy store, with some serious side benefits, and it's almost all dessert. So, enjoy!

Didn't see the second page of comments -- great ones! -- before I posted above. JAG is really getting good counsel.

My thoughts provoked by Psychman, one of the wisest:



Excuse me, but I'm having a Matrix Moment. As in, is there really a "Real" world outside the Matrix?

If the Tica/Latina GFE described above is a fantasy, then what is the Reality we are supposed to be contrasting it with? Dating and marrying gringas, simply because they live nearby, and sorta speak English at us?

I'm not going after your wonderful post, Psychman -- you da man! -- it's the idea of it being "a fantasy" and therefore implied as supposedly less than some other situation that is reality. I've heard the word "fantasy" around here enough times, so I feel like kicking it around a bit.

(Fantasy: The romantic idea of it being MORE than just "hooking up." And yes, I've given two separate decades of my life to that same fantasy, locally, so I'm a pigeon for it as much as anyone. I just like this "rental" version of it better, and my new retractable wallet is working very well, too )

I'm guessing that, at this stage in life, Reality could be defined as "attainable relationships with desirable women." Lumping all the beautiful Ticas together (somewhat facetiously?) under "one relationship" (put together over many days & nights) , I'd say this looks like a qualifier for Reality, no? It certainly is occupying my attention as much as any one romance ever has, minus the nasty spells...

GG, I was just elaborating on my initial experience down there. That girl had me thinking I was the only man in her life. Hell I even met her family, K*ds, etc... She doesn't want to be a working girl, but the more time I spent with her the more she reminded me of a latina GRINGA. Didn't want to work, let me support her, etc.. She even had the nerve to say if I married her the sexo would diminish immediately. I was looking for a cosmo mag under the phucking bed!!! Now I went crazy for a bit, mongering like a mad man...using the take 5 ticas and call me in the morning cure all. Then I met you know who. Now I'm reevaluating everything. Wow a legitimate nonworking girl with a real job that doesn't want to move to the states and seems to like me for my charming self?!? whats a poor monger to do?
Sparky

_________________
Sparky
Get in line to ride the lightning!!!


Almost legally single again! Voy a Colombia otra vece!!

Jag,.

You forgot the most important thing to do.

You forgot to get the name of that great restaurant when you talked to your "love"

You are getting great advice, can only add;
Is this your 1st. Latina relationship ???
If it is, that say's a lot.
Because they are unique.

Also, Chica's are like busses,
" If you get off of one, there is another one coming along in a few minutes.

The Nuck

_________________
Throughout the history of mankind there has never been one shred of evidence that supports that life is serious..........
Don't believe everything you think ............

Ah, the restaurant...

It has a two word name and the first name is Nuestra....I'll call her tomorrow and ask her the rest of it.


F'ing delicious chorizo. and beef and everything else.

Thanks to everyone has replied. I'm not sure what to think at this point. There are some things about this whole scenario that even I am too embarrassed to share on an anonymous message board! Thankfully, none of them have anything to do with money.


I think I want to go back to CR.

"Nuestra Tierra", the Argentinian restaurant?

CCP

Diego,

A few things. First, don't worry about taking issue with anything I say- I can handel debate, challlenge and criticism when it is respectful. No need to beat around the bush. Also, thanks for the nice words.

I agree with you to a large degree, it certainly is arbitary to somehow say a relationship is totally real or totally unreal based upon where and how we meet a woman, and the local. Many of us have been used by woman in the good ol' USA just as intensly as we have been used by Tica working girls. No quesion. Yet, on a very non philosphical level, I keep saying to myself " but they are hookers!!!" and then that breaks down. I don't know what I am really getting at here, other than I somehow agree with you but am left with this little part of me that thinks there is danger in NOT seeing our lives with the Tica working girls as fantasy.

Now, I have this one girl who writes me nearly every day. Totally non hard core (yet), sweet and kind, almost innocent (for a girl that is most likely having sex every day with stranger, I know, I know). When I was last down a month ago, we hung out a great deal with her, her niece (the GFE of a wonderrful member of ours), and we had a great and honest time. We told each other that we were "novios de mentira" Girlfrind/boyfriend of a lie. It was our way of both recognizing the essense of our situation. Now, also, I do belive that she really cares for me a great deal. I would almost venture to say that she feels love for me (which she has stated many times to her niece and to our other brother, and to me on many occasions). Do I love her? No. I feel warmth and affection for her, I feel a sense of sadness about her plot in life, I have affectionate feelings towards her, I can even say that I have a sense of her soul. What does all that mean, what does it amount to? On a nuts and bolts level, nothing really. I do not want a life with her, even if it were posible, and I am sure that it could never BE. On so many levels, we are too different- our worlds and outlooks a million miles apart. Now, add in the part about her being a hooker- a sweet, caring one, but a hooker. The odds, should I even have wanted something more, would be nearly insurmountable. Yet, it is the fact that these FEELINGS at times are real is what makes this so powerful. Damn, I am rambling, but I think I know how I want to respond to Diego. For me, the FEELINGS are clearly real, but the fantasy is that the feelings actually matter for more than the moment. When we are in San Jose, we are pure feeling, desire, and senstation seeking dudes. I want to FEEL. Two mouths on my huevos, a smooth round butt, and a human connection that for beief periods of time, can make me forget the pain of being alive..

I am not going to even reread what I just wrote. It might be a bunch of rambling hoseshit, sorry if it is. I guess I could have basically said it all in a few words, the feelings may be real, but could we every really build a life with these girls?

Of course, it has been done before, so we all want to feel we are differnt, special, and for us it can be real.

That is the fantasy.

Damn, I need a good threesome and to have my salad tossed...You guys suck, I have to wait a few months and settle for my sorted and assorted gringas...

For those of you who actually read this, I owe ya a beer.

Psychman

_________________
I said hey baby, take a walk on the wild side.
Lou Reed

WOW !.......I'm ready for that beer NOW !!