Nikkobob26 wrote:
So my question is to those of you that have paid for your live in girlfriends. I am just curious as to what kind of bill they will run up in the course of a month's time. After reading and doing research one things for sure these girls in other countries probably do right with the money they are given which makes me respect them more. I have no doubt in my mind that they help their families out which I think is awesome. I'd like to see a girl here act like that lol shit she isn't helping anyone but herself that is a guarantee to be sure. Im def not going to move where other gringos are like the beaches Im totally looking to experience the heart of Costa such as Heredia where I plan to go to school to learn Spanish. Im very interested in the culture and I do plan on keeping up with my own beliefs as well. But I am very open to learning their way of life as well. Thanks once again for the responses.
If you do meet a genuine girl in CR, it can work out quite well. You do have to recognize the differences in culture, and, of course, any person in any country can be a "bad egg". The girls in the gulch, with very few exceptions, have been heavily exposed to the p4p lifestyle and can generally be counted upon to milk you. The following applies to "real" girls and "real" families based on my experience -- not the typical girl that works in the gulch and her boyfriend/husband (usually an unsavory character at best).
I have been seeing a girl regularly for a couple of months that does not frequent the working girl areas, and so far so good. I have 2 good friends (including the friend that convinced me to move to CR) that have steady girlfriends, one of them a live-in. I say once again that when you let a Tica or most other Latinas move in with you, you are at least to some extent adopting their entire immediate family.
The CR culture is that the family is a bit closer-knit, and since you will most likely have the deepest pockets by far, you will be expected to provide to a large extent for the family that you have just adopted. This is not as bad as in many Pacific Island nations, but it does exist. If you only wish to provide for your new girlfriend or wife and not do anything for her family, it will clash with her culture and may not work out as well as it might in the USA. This is not a greed or money-grubbing thing, it is simply the culture. You will have to judge if your girl is after you for your money or simply being a Tica (or girl from another similar Latin culture).
The CR family units that I have run into have been matriarchal. Grandma and the girls run the show, and the men provide the labor, cash, and goods. The good thing is that this does work both ways. You will have to decide for yourself how much of this you can take. The family will throw some awesome parties, and you will be part of the family when you show up. You will be exposed to some excellent deals on household goods, low-cost or free transportation, carpentry and other work around the house, etc. You will learn the Tico way of shopping and doing other things that will not only save you money, but also really allow you to enjoy the country to its fullest. The family will step up when you need assistance and will be there when you need it.
Most Ticas are quite mothering, in a strong, matriarchal way. My friend's live-in girlfriend cleans the apartment thoroughly every day, and will cook whenever she can get him to eat. You have to be careful mentioning that you need something, as she will usually start phoning her family trying to find it for you immediately. She is strong-willed, temperamental, and quick to turn fiery or angry if you bring up a hot topic or piss her off. Money is primarily for the needs of the apartment (cleaning supplies, food, etc.), which she goes to get by herself at cheap CR prices. He generally lets her run the house, but he calls the shots on going out. I have noticed that if she disagrees with him on something, it is either a fiery argument or he has to really strongly put his foot down. The problem with that is that Latinas do not always back down -- so it is often quite the blow up. His advice to me has been not to let the fact that your friends (like me) are present in your home to be used by her as leverage to get you to back down to avoid your friends being embarrassed. Stick to your guns if you really feel that you need to win that particular argument. His favorite phrase is to say in a loud voice (not yell), "I'm the man, I've made my decision, the discussion is over, now shut the F*** up!" It does get a reaction, not necessarily a positive one initially, but in the end it does work well. The girls are fiery and used to making decisions for weak men. You have to establish the attitude of being tough but fair. It's not fun, but it will work if you persist. And the reward is worth it. If you can convince a Tica that you are a good guy who can provide for her and her family, and that you can project authority, you should be good to go.
I have seen him give her money (other than for shopping for the apartment). Some months there is no money, some months her mom needs $100 to make the rent, etc. He does buy her gifts, and he does give her $50 to shopping every few weeks or so, or if she needs something. She is not afraid to ask and he usually says no for ridiculous requests or every once in a blue moon, to hopefully avoid being an ATM. He takes her on some pretty awesome vacations for birthdays, anniversary, and valentines day. He is sappy in love for sure, but he at least tries to separate that from the practicality of life. Latinas like a guy who can take charge without treating them like crap or a punching bag. I have heard dozens of times things like, "Baby I appreciate the dinner, but these pots look and feel like you just ran them under cold water for 5 seconds. They are still greasy and nasty. Wash them again... now. Te amo, mi amor, but these have to be washed correctly.