Don’t be offended, but many mongers, myself included do things while in C.R. that have a negative impact on the good times of others.
Even big corporations are now offering etiquette classes for newly hired executives, and it’s in that spirit that I’m offering etiquette suggestions for discussion. I’m not preaching, believe it. I myself am guilty of breaking some of these “rules of monger etiquette,†and I’m also looking for ways I can comport myself better around my CRT acquaintances.
The following list is in no particular order of importance, nor is the list logical, nor is it all-inclusive.
Please post all flames to the Smack Talk section.
Hell, mock me wth something really clever; I can take it.
• Newbies to Costa Rica and CRT do have something to learn from guys with more Costa Rica experience. If you encounter SJ veterans, particularly expatriates, buy the first round and then shut up and listen awhile. You’ll learn a lot, even if you’ve hobbied elsewhere.
• What goes on in Costa Rica stays in Costa Rica. As most of us come from nations with puritanical beliefs about prostitution, nothing is served by bragging up your exploits to your friends, family and co-workers at home.
• Discretion is required. What other guys do, how they do it and with whom is their business and not yours or mine. Gossip is for schoolgirls and old ladies.
• If you see a brother sitting at a table alone with a chica, it probably means that he’s interviewing, negotiating or otherwise occupied. It is not acceptable to just pull up a chair and insinuate yourself into the conversation unless you’re invited to do so. If you have an urgent need to communicate with the guy, catch his eye from a nearby table.
• While we’re on the subject of tables: The common “rule†is that if you’re sitting at the bar, you don’t want to talk with the guys. If you seat yourself at a table, you’re open to socializing. This is important, as there are times when even the most outgoing among us needs a quiet moment and/or a solitary drink
• .
• It is totally unacceptable to do anything which c*ck-blocks a bro’. If you see a guy with a chica and the negotiations seem to be going well, it’s not cool to move in and chat her up while he’s off to the bar or restroom.
• Don’t ask invasive questions. If a brother wants you to know a personal factoid about himself, let him tell you. Questions like, “How do you get your money to come down to C.R. so often?†and the like a rude. Many of us travel more or less incognito. Please respect that.
• It’s been said before. If you can’t handle your liquor etc. then be careful in your consumption. San Jose can be a dangerous place and very “drunk-unfriendly†(bad sidewalks, robbers, bad cops, broken/missing sewer grates etc.) More importantly, raving drunks are usually not fun companions for some. Same goes for other refreshments: If you can’t use without turning into an a$$hole, don’t use.
• Remember that you’re not in an adult amusement park. Many folks not involved in our hobby live near where we play, so act the same way you would in your own neighborhood. Drunken shouting and laughter at 2:00 a.m. may be normal in front of the Hotel del Rey, but Barrio Amon near the hotels Castillo, Amistad, Dunn Inn, Vesuvio and Sportsmen’s is a residential neighborhood.
* Turn down the volume. It’s possible to have fun without shouting at the top of your lungs. I myself have a real problem sharing taxis with guys who insist on shouting their way through the trip. YMMV.
• The Golden Rule applies to all locals, regardless of their occupation. Your money and/or temporary social/corporate/ex-con status doesn’t entitle you to treat people like dirt.
• If you’re told by a potential wingman that he is on his way to a private gathering, don’t invite yourself. If he tells you that he’s busy with a small gathering of close friends, you’re probably not invited. Respect any refusal with grace.
• If one guy tells you you’re screwing up, ignore it. If two guys tell you that you’re screwing up, consider their counsel. If three guys tell you that you’re fu*king up, you probably are. And if four or more tell you…change your flight home and get out of country. Please.
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• Shouting at non-English speakers does not promote communication. It’s amazing how many guys seem to think that if they speak more loudly, their inability to speak the local language somehow disappears. If you’re having trouble communicating, find a brother who speaks Spanish and enlist his help.
• At orgies, put a towel between your bare ass and the furniture, please.
• Be honest in your criticisms of the working girls, and think before you speak about them. Malcontents get just as bad a reputation in our hobby as guys who don’t bathe frequently enough, c*keheads, sadists and other bad clients.
* Let the man tell his story. I had the great misfortune to be in a room with ex-Navy, ex-Marine, ex-Army and ex-Air force guys all at the same time. The Marine kept interrupting the Navy guy who in turn was interrupting the Air Force guy. The Army guy waited his turn. Point is, your story will be heard. Give each man the space to tell his piece.
• Carousing is part of the fun. Newbie or not, pick up a check once in awhile.
• Do nothing that would endanger a brother. This includes picking fights with the locals and/or carrying contraband or anything else that might cause hassles with the police.
I’m sure you can think of other bad behaviors. The above isn’t a rule book, but some good suggestions on how you can enjoy your visit to the Gulch without stepping on anybody else’s good time. Add your own suggestions below, but please flame me only in the Smack Talk section. Thanks!
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