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Best friend's ex-novia, should I or shouldn't I?
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=9894		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  El Tranquilo [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Best friend's ex-novia, should I or shouldn't I?
I'm sure this topic has been discussed many times before. But since it's no longer an academic question for me, I thought I'd ask for fresh advice.

About six months ago, I rented out my house (here in CR) for six weeks while I was visiting the states. The guy who rented it is one of my best friends. During that six weeks, he fell in "love" with an "ex-working girl" that he had known for several years. He made a major invest of time, money & emotion. Including applying for a fiance visa.

Shortly after my return, he found out that (low and behold!!) she was not only continuing to see other guys, but already had a marriage of convenience with another gringo. After several weeks of attempting reconciliation, they called it quits.

He now has a new girl that he is trying to get to the states. She is more mature and level headed and I wish them luck.

My problem is that a couple weeks ago I started getting calls from novia#1 suggestioning that we should spend some time together. Apparently we had sessioned together several times about five years back (although sad to say I have no recollection of what probably was a great experience).

After putting her off a couple times, I agreed to see her this Wednesday. Although she is a little hottie and I'd love to renew the acquaintence, I'm worried that I'll be putting a male friendship at risk. Awhile back I had put the question to my buddy "What if I run in to D on the street, can I go ahead and persue her." His answer was an ambiguous "Just don't tell me."

I'd really appreciate any advice or accounts of similar situations.

Thanks.
Author:  Twarag [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Actually he did tell you "just dont tell me" is a guys way of saying no. My 2 colones..........
Author:  XMan [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
To me even if my friend says it’s OK I have a personal rule of Bro's before Hoe's. Unless you think she is miss right and not miss right now it's not worth it.

Here is my reason: let’s say that down the road your friend and the chica get back together or even just talk, she can use your tryst as a weapon of betrayal to get at your friend. You've already established that she's a scammer by her previous actions. From what I've seen on this board there is no lack of talent in CR, Move on.



just my 2 cents.
Xman
Author:  Thirdworld [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just curious, any particular reason the friend keeps wanting to take them back to the States?
Author:  Zippy [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with you Thirdworld what is the rush with this guy wanting to bag'em up & take em home? Man they are a dime a dozen so why sign papers that are only for everyone elses advantage NOT YOURS!???

It would be different if they came from a class family that is economically sound & true love is on both sides of the fence but it sounds like another LOCO GRINGO falling in love with putas!! :evil:

Most people I have known in my life are bound & determined to phuch up their life & many seem to like to hit the gas pedal doing it??? OH well as they say but don't come crying too me is all I ask! :wink:

Pelo I would do as you wish & not tell him what ever it is but the way I see it I already don't like the way this puta has acted & with so many better topical fish in the sea why waste your time with this?
Author:  Witling [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
There are working girls everywhere but good friends are worth more than gold.

I make it a rule to never get involved with a girl that can come back to "bite" me later. This is less a moral issue than it is a fact that NO WOMAN CAN KEEP A SECRET!

That and the fact that you can never really trust one.

I'll give you an example. I once got a BJ from a friend and co-worker of my 1st wife. Two and 1/2 years later it came out. Unfortunately I was stationed in Turkey at the time. That cost me the marriage after 9 years.

Just my opinions.
Wit
Author:  Mas chicas [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
My 2 cents, if you want to do the chica and she wants to do you, then do it.
Once a puta always a puta no matter what anyone thinks, that goes for the CR or anywhere.
Author:  Right Hand Man [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Pelo de Gato,

Sounds like you value a piece of ass more than your friendship. That's wonderful. :roll:

RHM
Author:  El Ciego [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Do it!
Okay, my dos colones...

First, by your description, "good friend" has already ended with Novia #1 and has moved on in a big way. This means he has abandoned his claim. Period. If the guy would dump your friendship simply because you choose to use a woman in whom he's no longer interested, he's emotionally immature, selfish and not a good friend.

Will she tell him that you banged her? Count on it.

The issue here isn't about morality or even about being a good friend. Would the same friend be pissed if you moved into an apartment that he vacated, bought a car that he had previously owned, or took a sip from a bottle he had abandoned? I doubt it.

I never (NEVER) try to screw a friend's current wife, girlfriend or paid novia, but if the relationship between friend and woman have ended, she's fair game.

Go ahead and flame me, but I am very clear on this. It would be grotesquely unfair for any man to jealously hold on to a woman from whom he has separated, he'd be a "dog in the manger" to quote Aesop's Fables, and this has nothing to do with loyalty, brotherhood or anything like it.

Do her.
Author:  Orange [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
It doesn't matter what will happen in the future with her and him or whatever, what this whole thing comes down to this for me: a chica is easily replaceable, a true friend isn't.
Author:  BondTrader [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Orange could not have said it better and I think the consensus is obvious....DUMP THAT BITCH!!!!!
Author:  BlueDevil [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Best Friend's Ex-Novia
My take on this:

Not only is there the issue of potentially harming a friendship, but there is also the issue of you getting played like a fiddle.

You said:

Quote:
Shortly after my return, he found out that (low and behold!!) she was not only continuing to see other guys, but already had a marriage of convenience with another gringo. After several weeks of attempting reconciliation, they called it quits.


Although I may not have all the facts, I believe she won't hesitate to do the same to you. Don't get wrapped around the axle...avoid her like the plague. You still have time to make a choice...and you do have many other available "choices" on Wednesday night.
Author:  Solamente [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with El Ciego. I would do her.

They bailed, he is with a girl, trying to take her to the states...

WTF does he care? I would especially do her if it was free somehow
Author:  El Tranquilo [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks to everyone for your advice.

Your comments have convinced me that the qualms I was having were well founded.

I just called her and told her that I'm taking a pass on her offer. She tried a little too hard to convince me that it was O.K. and that I shouldn't worry about it. It made me even more suspicious of her motivations.

I honestly don't now how my buddy would see it when she told him about it (which I'm pretty sure she would). He really was ambiguous in his comment (It was actually "Go ahead--just don't tell me").

But I have no desire to risk a friendship to find out.
Author:  Cyberchunk [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  ok
My friends are very important to me. I would not do it.
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