www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Yeah, I finally got my first RFM, and what can I say... Did I send it?

Yeah, I did...

Here's the funny thing... she's NOT a working girl...

It wasn't even a creative excuse, she was just really short on rent. Do I believe her? Well, being that I KNOW where she works and that she makes a measley 30k colones for a 60-84 hour work week, and that she helps sustain her daughter, mother, father, sister, and brother, I had absolutely no heartburn helping her out on the request.

What I found interesting is that it seems like this no-shame-in-the-game concept of just feeling comfortable asking gringos for cash is not exclusive to the working kittens...

Is this a culturally accepted habit Tica-wide, independent of occupation, of being so cool and calm about asking others for money?

Anyways, I tell the good and the bad of myself openly on this board, and thought I'd share... I have no excuse, not even the common ones like "this is special" or "this is different"... I didn't even post anything or try to get reassurance from you guys prior to doing it. I can say, however, for what it's worth, that I am at peace with the the fact that she is not working (prostituting) and banging one of you fuckers while she uses my $100 to buy coke, booze and shoes...

Pura Vida, Bitches... I popped my cherry... Ruffnutz is all grown up now.

Ruffnutz

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EVERYONE'S A ROCK STAR IN C.R.!!
"Just when I thought I was out... They pull me back in." -- Ruffnutz on trying to quit CRT

See, that's what I mean, I would prefer if they just asked for it and not give me a line/lie out of the manual.

The RFM that I received today was just a typical "I'm sick, can't work, and my rent is due..blah blah blah" That one's gotta be in their top 10 list, probably in the first section of the manual.

God I wish I knew somebody who could take a pic of her in the BM/DR tonight so I could call her on her bullshit. Anybody have a camera. Just kidding, it's (she's) not worth the trouble.

-Orange

Join the "Bitches that have a heart club"............Ruff, I hear you and I hope everthing you say is true with this one, but who knows??

Let us know how this plays out. I can respect you for sending the money, especially what you just went thru!

Have a great weekend!

Pura Vida!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for October for you!

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GG
"Last time I said no......I misunderstood the question!"

Seems like just yesterday.........he was just fuzzy balls......
Muhahahaha

dude, you did the right thing....you got heart

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

While living with this goddess in the DomRep for four days, a neighbor, with three K*ds, would send one of her ninas over to her hovel with dinner each nite. I have no idea why,and there was no question of money, it was just what they do for each other.

And Ruff, I think you are right about the girls asking for money. It is what they have to do,so there really is no "shame" about it. And while they can't do the same literally for you, should you need it, they will look after you like you are the only person in their world.

Live Large,bro!

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My best days are behind her.

YO Ruff:
Hell, it's your dinero and there is nothing wrong with a good hearted feeling that you may have helped someone. I got a bit nerved when a number of CRT' ers jumped on LVSteve when he provided a chica with some cash. WE ALL HAVE DONE IT IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER and anywone who says they did'nt is either a liar or a stingy hard hearted hombre.

BTW....don't forget the "Send Circus to CR" fund. Talk about a warm glow in your heart.

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Damn if I'm going to repeat this shit again. I need a drink.
I've been drinking vodka every day for 45 years and I have certainly never found it to be habit forming.

I you feel good about giving then good for you!

Its not a puta thing nor even a more general tica thing, its a human thing. When the famous bank robber Willy Sutton was asked why he robbed banks, he replied "because thats where they keep the money". Now that may not be the nicest example, but it does explain it. Compared to these chicas we're Donald Trump. Who else do they know that has as much money to spare and where else are they going to go when they get in a jam? An even better question is what makes you think this chica was so calm about asking you for money? How do you know what soul searching she MIGHT have went through before she turned to you?

Now as to the unasked question as to whether you were right or wrong in complying with her request, I would go along with the other replies with a caveat. There are some factors that make this situation unique. I'll take your assessment of her status at face value. You KNOW she's not working the HDR/BM and so a) does not have a source of income that should obviate the need for asking for extra cash from you and b) is probably not "playing" some other gringa while she's "playing" you. You have to respect the fact that she's trying to support her family by working so hard for so little when she could easily have taken the "easy" route that the HDR/BM girls have. Also, despite your characterizing this as a "calm" act, I also believe any woman trying to make it on her own would make such a request only out of desperation and as a last resort.

Here come the caveats. You said in addition to her daughter she was helping support her mother, father, sister and brother. WTF are they doing while she's toiling away 60-84 hours/week for 30K colones, that she should be helping THEM? Okay, maybe abuela is helping care for her K*D while she's at work, but father, brother and sister should be able to make at least as much as she is. The second caveat is really more of a warning. I don't know how much you sent, but I'm sure it was not much from your perspective. You'll probably get it back in other ways when you see her again and even if you don't you'll have the satisfaction that you helped out a friend in her moment of need. The only potential problem is if you've established a dangerous precedent. Now that she's been to the well and found the water sweet, will this be the start of larger and more frequent requests and what do you do then. Is this the start of a slippery slope and if there are more requests that creepingly increase in frequency and amount, when do you turn off the spigot? I guess you'll just have to cross that bridge when you come to it. (is that enough metaphors)

Do these girls ask Ticos for cash or just Gringos? If it's just Gringos then it is a bit of a scam regardless. But that's just my opinion. OTOH, if it feels good, do it.

I have a question directed to anyone that cares to answer: In your opinion, does sending a little extra cash tend to endear the girl to you so that when you return she's indebted or are they more likely to take what you give and blow you off next time? If it were a situation where I had paid a girl reasonably well for everything and then she asks for money before my return, I would think it's the same as paying before services are rendered. But if I had spent quite a bit of time with a girl and she charged me very little for a lot, I think I would feel "ok" with sending a little until I return. But, my thinking is that if they're asking me, they're asking at least one gringo from every week's work with the idea of getting a cash stream coming in from many lucky fellas.

I'm not sure "indebted" is the right word. I don't ever want the girl to feel like she has a financial burden to "work off" as it were. When I give money to a girl, if it's NOT part of a negotiated deal, I let her know it's for her family and I always slip it into her purse or pocket, so it remains a gift. I have yet to give anyone money when they have asked for it, but I have slipped them some if I knew to a reasonable certainty that it really was going for the family or such.The caveat here is that I also know these girls "well" (and this has been over the course of my travels...not just in CR)and I can count them on one hand.

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My best days are behind her.

Ruffnutz, I recommend MONEYGRAM. After they assign you an account# just put it on the form and every time you use it the commission goes down. I am now down to about 10.5% commission on every transaction. I send about $400 a month to my son in Orlando,Fl. Also, I once sent $125 to am amigos.com girl for her birthday and I was rewarded when I met her a few months later!

I've read many of these sort of threads since I signed up and it never ceases to surprise me that anyone would share such a personal decision with a bunch of a**holes such as ourselves (you can punch me when you see me if you've a mind to) with the sure knowledge that he will get both flamed and hugged to varying degrees. Ruff, at least, does not openly ask for anyone's approval as many have done.

I've thought about it at lenght as to what I would do in the same situation and the truth remains that I don't know. If only there were a Solomon-like test (as in the splitting of the baby to discern the true mother) to which a friend/lover could be subjected to discern sincerity of need. I haven't been able to come up with anything; has anybody else?

Until I have a solution to offer, I'll be skipping right over future threads on the subject.

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The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
English poet (1809 - 1892)

Lets see...to be warm hearted or coldly analytical on this theme? Ok...both.

Warm fuzzies...those that have the heart to give freely on demand without worrying about the motivation or circumstances of the request often feel good at being able to share and give. To help another out in time of need is noble. Of course one only knows their true motivations from the inside or why this particular person at this time. Obviously Ruff has a sense about this girl...and we all hope he is right on.

Coldly analytical...I think it is a general culture thing here where the gringos are looked at as money machines, and generous easy targets. Its not just the Delrey girls...its the Tico friends, the girlfriends, the taxi driver who becomes your bud, the shoe shine boyman on the corner. They are there because WE are. Do we help them when we give without conditions? Thats the tough question. In my years in Mexico, and now my going on 3 years living with a Colombiana...I never got hustled by a Mexican or Colombian woman. Most EVERY Tica and Tico I have known has tried to hustle me one way or another. I think it is indemic with the culture. Sorry...and in my opinion it is not attractive.

I have no problem with P4P and these girls making an "honest" living. i respect that more than women who PRETEND to be your GF...or even have sold themselves on the idea they could LOVE you...but are asking every other day or week for a handout. This happens primarily because we are hooking up with women of lower class and economic condition. In some ways this gives us a sense of power and superiority...because they are truly greatful (MAYBE) and will in turn treat us like kings. Whether this is bonafied, unconditional love...well, thats another question.

I have put my own long term GF to the test a few times. THe first time was when she gave up her free ticket and Visa to go to Las Vegas and maybe find work and have fun...versus stay with me in poor little Costa Rica. I told her in no uncertain terms that if she thought she would get to the states through me, she would find that completely impossible. She stayed and is still here...and has never asked me for anything more than $20 for one thing or another that was a neccessity. I know...this is rare. SHe works with and for me for which she gets funds and other benefits .

I mentioned a long time ago on another thread related to this topic that my old Mexicana girlfriend in San Diego slapped me for handing her $70 she had asked to BORROW after we had made love. She couldnt understand why I would make her appear or feel like a hooker by doing that. Oops...bad timing and poor cultural understanding. Since then I have never handed a woman money after sex...even P4P. I lay it somewhere they can get it. These Ticas dont seem to care either way...which I find interesting...and not all that attractive.

Tman, I found your entire post interesting but the above most thought provoking.