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Monger’s Remorse and the Distrust of Women
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Author:  Ruffnutz [ Mon Aug 29, 2005 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Monger’s Remorse and the Distrust of Women
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Author:  Hank Daman [ Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Honest, insightful, profound and real. I will respond more later, sort of want to see what gets stirred up by others. I hope you get the space to have your feelings and not get trashed for your honesty, for your heart felt humanity. You mentioned your degree in psychology, and clearly you are fine student of human behavior (says my PhD in in Psych, so there :wink: ).

Good for you pal, hope I get the honor of buying you a drink someday.

Psychman
Author:  Orange [ Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's deep, man. :lol:

No, but seriously, I'm 29 and I've been having a lot of the same feelings and thoughts since returning from CR a couple of months ago. I have never been married or close to it where I'd be cheating, so I don't have the feelings of guilt or that I'm doing something "wrong". I don't have quite the mongering experience as many guys on here, I've been to CR once (SO FAR!) and done some local mongering for few years.

Since returning from my CR trip in June, I've been having some of those feelings you mentioned. I have some doubts about my future relationships with "regular" women. The level skepticism and pessimism on the board in regards to marriage is a little overwhelming and is making me seriously examine the whole concept. THANKS A LOT FELLAS. :lol: I haven't had a serious or semi-serious relationship with a regular woman in about 3 years, but not because of mongering. Working full time on Wall Street and completing a graduate degree leaves very little time for any kind of social life. And now that I'm done, I'm a little hesitant about pursuing a normal relationship, for fears of my mongering past (CR trips-past and future) becoming an issue. But I'm still coming in October though. :twisted:

I have my second trip planned for October but it may be a while after that before I return to CR. I just don't want to screw up my head by indulging in this hobby too much. I think it does have an effect on you psychologically and emotionally. In Ruff's case, he couldn't perform with his wife. They may be stupid cliches, but they're practical: "Too much of anything is not good for you" and "If it looks too good to be true, it usually is."

Damn, I just re-read what I wrote. :oops: Okay, I'm done being a pu*sy too.

-Orange
Author:  Dapanz1 [ Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
You all know I've got plenty to say about it. I'll just need time to collect all of my thoughts. Their are many pieces to this puzzle. Many. And, why do you guys think you are "pussies?"

dapanz1
Author:  El Silencioso [ Mon Aug 29, 2005 11:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very insightful post.

It is very nice to hear some open and honest opinions. I will be digesting this and posting a rather thorough reponse to this thread shortly.

Ruff, thanks for showing this board can be about reality as well....

CG
Author:  Prolijo [ Mon Aug 29, 2005 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
You know I will probably have a long answer to this. For now I'll just give you the short answer. If what you say is true, that we lie just as much as they do if not more, that is not an argument for saying why not form a relationship between two liars. That is even more of an argument AGAINST putting these two sets of people together in a relationship. This isn't a simple math operation where 2 negatives equal a positive. This is a situation where 2 negatives equal 2 negatives. If one party doesn't Phuck it up the other half will. Twice as many chances to go wrong.
Author:  Twarag [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:15 am ]
Post subject: 
The monger and the provider are in a dance together; each satisfying the need in each other. Guys, we all have intimacy problems or we would not be the intense mongers that we are. I have never scorned the chicas for what they do. Remember "Catcher in the Rye" when the boy said "why do the guys talk badly about the girls that do it for them.......they are only doing what the guys want. (approx text) I understood the reason at the time (16 yrs old) The guys are ashamed of themselves and their own sexuality thus dump on the girl.
I cherish the ladies for being there for me, puta or not. I will give more thought and post again.
Author:  Florida [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:26 am ]
Post subject:  ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FORREST FIRES!!!!!!!!
GREAT POST RUFF, this may lead into you recieving a one hour session with a ZB kitten :)
Author:  SparkChaser69 [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Well Ruff, I'll be the first to bust your balls! 8) SPEAK FOR YOUR SELF, BECAUSE I AM A SEXY BITCH :twisted: :wink:
But in reality it is intimacy issues that I believe most of us have. I for one like latinas so thats what I persue.
My nonpro knows about my mongering "past" but would boot me out the door if she found out I was still seeing "working girls". Would I blame her? No I wouldn't, can I stop wanting to sleep with many young(legal) latinas? No I don't want to. SO I have the problem, not her.
I always defend "our" girls in CR if someone in the states makes a off color comment or calls them whores etc... I explain, the job opportunities are slim, they all have families to support and this is a legal and easy way for them to make money. They provide a service and we are the consumers of that service.
I think I've rambled enough for now, Great post though you big p*ssy :wink:
Sparky
Author:  Pan T Dropper [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Ruffnutz,
I have to tell you, I read your post twice and it really made an impact on me. My eyes began to water and my heart felt real heavy as I really felt your pain. I said to myself, “poor Ruff, I need to call him and cheer him up.” As I picked up the phone, I realized with the three-hour time difference, that you were deep in sleep dreaming about your upcoming threesome with Tania and Johana. It was at this time, I snapped out of it and realized Ruffnutz, you’re such a pu*sy… you just need to get laid.”
Author:  Nucknfuts [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:42 am ]
Post subject: 
OH GOD my head hurts :?

I never never want to think that much again.

Confucius say " to know one self is to know all"

When a person starts thinking they are better that anyone else that
is when the problems start.
Unless you are able to walk a mile in the other persons shoes (so to speak)
you do not have the right and should not judge.
But unfortunately most people do judge and most of the time it is basically to make themselves feel better about there on inadequacies.
One of the hardest things for people to do is blame themselfs.
But only when you do look at yourself is the only time you will grow.

Just remember when you are pointing your finger, you have you three others pointing back at YOU !

Very good and thought provoking post Ruff.

Rather be Nucknfuts
Author:  Zippy [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Ruff,

You must have EVA on your mind. :D :D :D

LOOK IT IS THE DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE thing who is going to win?? :? To me there really are no winners in this game & there doesn't have to be any losers either, it is just a joyful exchange of services that we can’t find at home like this that can be used to both parties advantage if done right. Let it die at that. Prolijo said it best I believe with his quote of: (This is a situation where 2 negatives equal 2 negatives. If one party doesn't Phuck it up the other half will. Twice as many chances to go wrong.) But then again some guy’s like to climb mountains & hope for the best. :shock: :D

I keep wondering why guys that are so smart here as we can see as they write so well can get caught up in these endless loops & try to justify what is illogical. :idea: What is it that does this to us that we let ourselves get emotionally involved with people we know we shouldn’t? Is it our laziness or just convenience, lack of self confidence or we are such a mess this is our only way or maybe it is just the laws of statistical odds you phuck around long enough with so many different women you eventually find chemistry that goes off the scale? :D For me I think I like bar girls a lot as they intrigue me as I like wild craziness & spontaneous behavior they possess We are different & they are different & we are in this fascinating dance & exchange with them & many times both parties really do like each other but don’t disillusion yourself. Ruff I am not saying & don't believe this is your case but I know I have done this in my life & lucky I snapped out of it & I see a pattern sometimes it seems to me anyway. :oops:

I believe all parties in this game are all equally guilty as charged & in the puritan world this is surely sinful but I will die a happy little sinner I guess. No easy single answer but don't hurt anyone including yourself is best I believe. If you see yourself not strong enough to deal with this joy filled quagmire I suggest you get out now before it is too late!

As far as your guilt feelings with your x-wife I think a lot of our guilt is from this guilt riddled puritan society & you have to learn to mature thru this to make your life all it can be. I hate the guilt that we put on ourselves & suffer from time to time as a lot of this has been brain washed into us from birth. Were we poisoned by our upbringing because it tells us to fight our natural desires & programming, who knows at least I know I am not going to let other people brainwash away or control my natural instincts as I feel someone put them there for a good reason & I certainly enjoy these instincts! :D I am happy many men get caught up in letting other people & themselves control these natural instinct & desires. Imagine what it would be like if all men were mongers too much competion for sure?

From the Latino friends I have that grew up in another culture away from the puritan stuff we know, they seem to deal & cope with this part much better than us I believe. I really dislike being dishonest with women but feel what they don’t know can’t hurt them but you know & have to learn to control & deal with this part. I just wish my libido would go away & leave me alone but it just doesn't work that way my libido seems to be on the rise. I tell you this shit is pure poison & the problem is we already have this poison running thru our veins & how do you put the genie back in the bottle & do we even want to?

On your part about fidelity I have seen the same as you & everybody has to find how to live in harmony on this one as it is never easy. I do know some men that use mongering to there advantage as it is truly a super clean transaction that keeps their life in balance as they are able to keep mongering in perspective (a good example is Wildwoods 3 part report) & some believe it keeps them from a divorce that would arise from their sexual frustrations with their wife. Some guys have told me they totally love their wife & want to take their last breath with her but they were simply not sexually satisfied completely by her but the rest was perfect. Super hard to find it all in one package especially knowing what we know! Everyone finds different ways to make things work for them & a bad case of the guilties can just kill everything if you let it. :shock:

Something else you mentioned is a desire for 19 to 22 year old females.
That is what I find I like the best to screw around with but wouldn’t want to marry as they look better with less experience than older ones & I bet I die like this. I beat myself up over this also thinking I was a dirty old man but look I believe that is the puritan part driven into us & it is our natural programming of selecting the healthiest female for reproduction & a perfect body 19 yr old looks better than a 35 to 40 year old to bear Ch*ldren. It is our natural programming I believe whether you are 19 or 80 we want to plant the seed where it looks like it will grow the best & all animals are like this just look at nature! An older healthy lion doesn’t screw around with a half dead lioness he finds the healthiest one to do it with for survival of the race it is instinctive. :oops:

Ruff for the sum of the problems you foresee the way I see it your only way out is to give mongering up & start going to church with all your spare time :shock: or find a beautifully naive young Latina wife that comes from a good family that even has money with little to no experience with men that is somewhat moldable that gives you enough space to monger on the side & get a grip on the guilties. :wink: With your age & talent it should not be that hard if you look in the right places & I wish you all the luck in the world. Oh yes stop being a big p---y too. :D

Ruff I have got to hook you up with some of my Tico buds they gave me some real good lessons on dealing with the guilties as they cleansed some of my puritan thoughts away. :shock: :? I am in noway saying Ticos are heartless as I have found they are really cool guys & they just have many good things to share with us. You have to not be so hard on yourself but just do the best you can to survive in LA VIDA LOCA!! 8) :wink:

OK finally I am out of here. :roll: :D

Zip
Author:  Travelman [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 7:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Ruffnutz,

Interesting post. But I believe that what this post does is bring out a thought process we all must have and work out. I have been mongering for 10 years. I am in my 40's. I have had this thought process go through my mind before and believe I have sorted it out for myself.

Everyone is right on this one. I have been to many monger locations around the world. Everywhere you go you find those who want to fall in love with a working girl and others who always say remember they are whores. Well they are but, they are also individuals so can you have a relationship with one? Sure yes, absolutely, but do you have a risk in this relationship? Yes, the girl you are having a relationship will continue to have sex with other guys when you are gone. This is hard on most men but not impossible. I think the reason most guys say no you cannot is because the biggest risk you have in this type of relationship is being taken advantage.

Each man must decide the risk he is willing to take in a relationship with a bar girl. For example, I will develop a relationship with a girl. Will I send her money? NO. This is probably the quickest way to be taken advantage.

Will I ever have a serious relationship with a bar girl. Possibly. My ultimate plan is to move and retire to a mongering location. When I am there full time I may begin to have what I believe is the way humanity is meant to be. A series of monogomous relationships. Probably lasting 1 week to 3 months. Taking care of the woman with me at that time.

I am divorced and find what I need from a women is not what most men need. I want sex, a fun companion and that is about it. I do not need her to be my best friend. I do not need her to confide in. I am quite comfortable standing on my own 2 feet. I do not say this to act macho or cool. I find a relationship in the american sense to be too complicated. By that I mean confining and I do not need the support of another human being as it seems most do. I think not needing others for support is a trait of most mongers. This is what makes mongers the most interesting people I meet. They tend to be individuals who have all "taken a different path in life."

I do believe we mongers are different from a large part of the population. I think all other men NEED another person to help run their life. This is what they get out of marriage. That is also why they get married over and over.

Ok so to sum up my ramblings. Mongers need fewer "other people" in there lives so they tend to stay away from relastionships. This is why some say bar girls are whores and no good. Over simplifying reality but, for some mongers it works. They are right but, I think there is more to each and every bar girl. I love finding out what I think they are like.

Mongers are as a poem I once read said " A breed of men who do not fit in. They roam the world at will". There is more but I do not remember it right now.

I look for love on each and every trip. But I know love only lasts a little while. wink wink. I will be looking for love again in the CR for the first time Sept 11th.


Just my personal thoughts that make this all work for me.
Author:  Redman69 [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:17 am ]
Post subject:  Man thats deep
Thanks for your post and thoughts. If only the people who writte the articales for the papers about sex tours could read and understand what you said. Man you touched on so many truths. I was thinking about sex tours to Nevada. Oh! thats right its taxed there which of course makes it different. I asked a girl there about 20 years ago who was working at the ranch owned and operated by the IRS. Why are you working here? She said I paid taxes on 120,000.00 last year. Then she asked me how much I made. I Have allways thought that whores love to screw. Period. And find it a bounes to get paid allso. I went to my first lady of the night when I was 11 or 12 and she treated me fair and I have allways enjoyed the company of whores more than straight girls. I can say they lie less and are in many ways more honest. Your a man and this is what you want and I am a woman and money is what I want. There is the truth. Marriage is a institutaion for the raising of youngings. God there was so much good stuff in your post, I can only touch alittle.
Author:  Redman69 [ Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh yea I forgot to mention the fact that there was alot of truth in what you said about us men and our actions.
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