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Wife Experiment https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=7266	Page 1 of 4

Author:	Brandda [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Wife Experiment
Hello gentlemen, I am new to this site and have not yet made my first trip to CR but am looking forward to seeing you this Fall. After reading through your posts, especially those on gringa behavior vs. the rest of the female world. I find myself appalled. Not at you and not at the gringas but at myself for being so stupid. I'm the typical schmo, 38, corporate, 2 Kds, suburban house, 15 year marriage, dieing a little every day and utterly miserable in my gilded cage. Upon realizing what a schmuck I have been I also realized that I would continue to be a schmuck if I did nothing about it. So, before just chucking the 15 years and any chance of a relationship with my sons, I am running an experiment to see if a gringa can be salvaged or if they are so inherently culturally and genetically twisted that none of them can be saved. I called the wife into my office today (I work from home) and asked her "What's in it for me?. I give up everything for the family, my money, my time, my life and get zero back. So, what's in it for me because if I cannot come up with something positive that accrues to me from this marriage, I am gone." Well, even though we have been having problems for the last several years, she looked really confused and then started to talk about all of the emotional claptrap and I told her that those things had value to her, not to me. That if she wanted me to stay then she needed to start acting like a wife which means that keeping me happy and cared for should be her top priority. At that point she started apologizing all over herself and promised to do better, etc... We shall see. I will let you guys know how this develops. I should mention that my downside here is better protected than most since I live in Texas and all I am liable for is half my net assets and 25% of my take home for Chld support which even then is capped. We have no alimony here. By my take I will get a raise by divorce so I figure what have I got to lose. It's upside either way for me. BTW - Mods, if this is in the worng forum, please feel free to move it.

Author:	TexasNVegas [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:
That is a good start. I got a lot of improvement from my Ex with a simliar approach. If you decide to make the break there is a lot you can do to protect yourself BEFORE you tell her.

Author:	Brandda [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Please enlighten me. I consider a break to be a very real possibility so anything that I can do to prepare would be useful and appreciated.

Author:	TexasNVegas [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Protecting yourself
Check your PMs

Author:	Diego [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Sounds like you "acted like A Man", and she responded. Was it the first time in a long while you really put your foot down? Amazing how much we stop holding back once we decide it's as good as over. Usually, though, any trust is gone and it's too late to rebuild. Quote: to see if a gringa can be salvaged I think we draw the contrast sharply here, since most of us are getting our beginning education in Latinas. I'd guess that both have the full and equivalent architecture of "Woman", but the two are culturally and economically configured differently. I'm starting to be on alert that the Latina is not the easy way out of gringa-land, but requires as much maintenance, of different types perhaps, and maybe at different stages in the relationship. Language and culture gaps require us to take some new risks, should we venture in deeply. (Hence the arguments for keeping it purely recreational.) Anyway, I would say that, with gringas, if you do not grab the dominant role early on, separating her from the anti-male environment that propagandizes her, you will be the rare man to recover it later. However, it is certainly worth trying, as it seems you are doing. This will allow you to better plan what you want to do next in your life, rather than having it dictated by a person who does not have your interests at heart. I come to this now, recognizing that my ex should have been a two-week booty call, and not a ten-year sinkhole. Hoever, my lack of game led me to that inevitable result.

Author:	Pidd [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:
Brandda... Get a good lawyer and keep your computer hard drives clean... Divorce is never as easy as it is first planned... I know, Done it twice... ... with the same Gringa.... No wonder Gordo calls me Pidd..!! Good Luck Brother PIDD

Author:	LVSteve [ Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:11 pm ]
Post subject:
Branda; Here here to what Pidd is saying. Divorce is PURE HELL! It sucks the life out of you for 1 to 2 years. Oh, sure, you live in Texas. Well I lived in California which is supposed to be a community property state but if she gets a bitch lawyer, you're goose is cooked. The guy always comes out worse. And Kds? Oh God. Think about the college tuition, the dental and medical bills ON TOP of Chld support Then there's alimony. Does she work? Has she worked? If she hasen't, they have a formula based on years married and you could wind up paying alimony till she re-marrys some sucker but she's probably smarter than that and will just live with the guy. Like Pidd, I've been through it twice. Never again! Bottom line is that I could have retired 10 years ago instead of 3. Its hell Man, think long and hard. LVsteve

Author:	Cremaconpalo [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:10 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Wife Experiment
Brandda wrote: I give up everything for the family, my money, my time, my life and get zero back. So, what's in it for me because if I cannot come up with something positive that accrues to me from this marriage, I am gone." YO Brandda, Sounds like you already know the answer, amigo...NOTHING about your lifestyle is gonna change, unless YOU change it: Before you know it, you'll be an old, used-up shell of a "cash cow" that everyone (Kds & wife) milked to get their meal tickets punched and then discarded. Is divorce long & painful? YES. Is it a headache & a hassle? YES: But there IS light, glorious light, at the end of the tunnel. A Chinese proverb states, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Don't waste any more time waiting for things/people to "change"...because they won't..begin preparing for your journey, my friend...and when you are ready, "suck it up", "bite the bullet", and STEP OUT...it's YOUR life, and you'll only get to live it ONCE. Looking back on it all (so far), I, for one, can honestly say that, not only was it certainly WELL worth it (BOTH times...I'm a slow learner ), but it was one of the smartest decisions I ever made (or that ever happened to me) in life. A Colombian friend of mine once told me that marriage is like a shit pie topped with strawberries...you start out eating yummy strawberries, but soon you are left with nothing to eat but shit...and PLENTY of it. I finally decided I would just go around eating the strawberries, and leave the shit for someone else's less-discriminating palate. I wish you the strength and the courage you will need for your journey...I'll bet you'll do fine. I hope to one day see you on the "other side", bro: The grass REALLY IS greener over here (not to mention that the pusy can be exceptional and abundant if you are free to travel for it...NEXT!!)! Remember: "tick-tock"! This may help get you started: http://www.divorceprep.com/ Buena Suerte! CCP

Author:	Brandda [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:12 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks fellas. All perspectives appreciated. I realize divorce is a catastrophic step which is why I have stuck it out for 15 years, but honestly, I'm willing to take the $$$ hit. LVSteve - Texas divorce law has no provision for alimony and the Chld support is set by a formula and capped. It is all a lot cleaner than CA. I have spoken with several different buddies who are lawyers and they have all told me the same thing in that, assuming there is no custody battle (which there won't be), in TX it's mostly just about filing paperwork. There are no real decisions to be made other than how much the estate is worth and who gets the Kds. Pidd - Geez. Twice with the same woman? She's good. Just as an update, we had actual sex last night and it was actually pretty darn good with her really getting into it. Just a second ago she brought a cooked breakfast into my office unasked. Not sure how long her being scared will last but there certainly seems to be a dramatic improvement.

Author:	Dapanz1 [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:44 am ]
Post subject:
I swear..anymore my reason for being on this site is more for these kinds of threads. The CR stuff gets kind of old and recycled. Great posts on this thread and the thread in VIP started by Patriot. dapanz1

Author:	VegasBob [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:53 am ]
Post subject:
Do you know why divorce is so expensive in the US? BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!!!! This is from a guy who went through it twice. My guess is that your Gringa will act like a human being for about 3-4 weeks then go back to treating you like shit. That's what Gringas are trained from birth to do. She acted like a concerned wife because she saw her gravy train disappearing and gave you some bullshit while she retrenches and plans her next move. She will now talk to her Gringa girlfriend who will fill her full of negative things about you. She will then "protect" herself by meeting with a lawyer. This is the end of your marraige because the lawyer will reinforce her that it is over and you are a terrible person.This is how the lawyer hooks her into a high paying client. If you have any money or other assets that she doesn't know about,hide them IMMEDIATELY whether you get divorced right now or not. You are a human being and it is time to start thinking about yourself. If you are miserable,GET OUT.In my negative experience,it never gets better. Thanks for letting me vent about my 30 years of bad marriages.

Author:	LVSteve [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:22 am ]
Post subject:
Vegas Bob is 100% right. Any assets - get them now and HIDE them! I didn't act fast enough and got screwed. LVSteve PS: He's also right about the girl friend. They call them "support functions" . Bullshit! She will fill your wife's head with all kinds of advice that will hurt YOU. Be carefull and act fast. LVSteve

Author:	Brandda [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:26 am ]
Post subject:
I actually figured that this is temporary. My real curiousity is how long it will last. I do have a question about shifting assets though. How do you avoid a paper trail?

Author:	King Costa [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:30 am ]
Post subject:	Divorce American Style
Branda: It appears to me that you are suffering from a MID LIFE CRISIS my friend. I am not going to tell you whether or not you should divorce you wife. I will tell you this. 1. If you think you are going to be happier with another women, keep in mind that you are either going to meet other women who have a lot of baggage i.e. Kds or a younger women that will still want Kds and you have to start all over again with 1/2 of your assets. I suggest you speak with a few guys around your age that have divorced with Kds and ask them about life after divorce. I know of a lot of horror stories of guys that have remarried. 2. Going to CR may have 1 of 2 effects. 1. You will resent her even more after getting laid by hot young women. OR 2. It might actually change your perspective on your life. The CR experience will give you the adventure you are missing. In other words, you may decide to stay with your wife and take a few trips to CR during the year to spice up your life. 3. Don't forget that you are going through a STAGE IN LIFE now. In a more years your Kds will be growing up and your life will change again. This feeling is very normal for guys getting close to 40. I experienced this myself and it took me a couple of years to accept the fact that I wasn't young any more.

Author:	Brandda [ Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:01 am ]
Post subject:
KingCosta - All valid points and I have considered these. The two things holding me back from immediate action are: A) Am I willing to have no relationship with my sons going forward and trust that she can effectively raise them to be men? B) Is it possible that 10 years from now I would look back and wish that I had tried harder to work the situation out? I.e. that my lide would not be improved from where it would have been had I stayed married? As to point A, this is a major issue and really the strongest point that is driving me to stay right now. I am having a really hard time walking out on them because I do not believe she can teach them what they need to learn. The corollary to that is that as soon as they are gone, I am gone, but that is 9 years from now for the youngest. For B, hard to say. This assumes that once the K*ds are gone and she grows up a little bit that I would be a higher priority in her life than I am now. Kind of hard to predict. I am a pretty independent guy though and already spend a good deal of time away from home travelling for work so I do not think I would miss it much.

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