www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Gentlemen,

I've only been to CR three times, and I know of the list of withdrawal symptoms made on the forum, but it's funny how the symptoms have changed after each trip and wanted to share and see if I was alone on this boat...

First trip- (SHOCK and ANGER) Absolute madness. A deep sense of longing which started the very moment I got on the plane back to the U.S. I dreamed of Costa Rica every time I slept, and this is no exaggeration. My mind could not focus on anything but CR, and to some degree, it changed my attitude with people, especially with the gringas. I was actually upset, thinking "Why can't life always be like this??" I hadn't realized that fantasy-land was just that... just a temporary fantasy. I was blind to the fact that my unique, amazing, special time over there was as common as the amount of people showing up to the place on a daily basis.


Second Trip- (ACCEPTANCE) The second trip for me was weird because the only thing I could compare it to was a kick in the balls... When I first got back, I didn't feel anything like my first trip return, but as time passed, the longing kicked in. I was prepared for 'coming back to reality' this time, and so maybe this is why the second trip didn't hurt as bad, withdrawal-wise. I accepted the fact that, sure, pura vida is great, but even that can get potentially boring if overindulged. I was better prepared for withdrawal and was more at peace. The withdrawal eventually did come, but no where near as strong as after my first trip.


Third trip- (WITHDRAWAL-FREE, but a sense of guilt) I finally came to the realization on my second trip that the temporary rock-star status was just a fantasy that I actually had to pay for to get, and that the party continues without me. Along with that, I realized that I can pick up right where I left off whenever the hell I want to buy a flight back! Third trip wasn't even a symptom thing anymore, but more of a scheming of all the things I have never done and a mental check-list of all the things I want to do on my next trip. I was cool with coming back, and here at home I'm pretty back to normal, even on the gringa scene. After my first trip I didn't even find any interest in going out or doing the nightlife scene, but now things are as normal as before I discovered the gulch. CR is just an escape from reality that is just a plane ticket away.

On the guilt, I think that this time around, I took a step back and looked away from the hedonistic aspect of my adventures. I looked deeper into situation and saw the backstage... the chicas involved and their reasonings for doing what they do. I know that I cannot change anything, nor do I pretend that there is something wrong with the situation, but I guess I just felt bad of the circumstances creating this environment. In a nutshell, after the initial shock and novelty wore off from my first few exposures to the place, I realized that even "pura vida" is not as pura vida as it seemed at first, especially for the other parties involved in my activities.
Just for the record, this guilt or sadness did NOT change my desires to enjoy myself again in the future!!


Fouth Trip Well, my friends, fourth trip hasn't happened quite yet, I'm only two weeks away... I guess I'll have to see how it goes.


Ruffnutz

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EVERYONE'S A ROCK STAR IN C.R.!!
"Just when I thought I was out... They pull me back in." -- Ruffnutz on trying to quit CRT

First, I want to comment on the "other half" of our Pura Vida experience. Having been with a Del Rey girl for over a year I have seen all angles of the "other side." For those who think the girls enjoy the life..think again. They may be smiling on the outside (promoting their business as competition is stiff) but are literally and figuratively dying on the inside. Regardless of how we, AS GENTLEMEN, treat the ladies, you have to understand that their self esteem is just above zero. In some aspects their maturity level is well beyond even ours, but in some aspects of life I think my 5 year old daughter has more sense. Their life is a vicious cycle, unpredictable and without security. In many cases, no family support. Once they decide to step foot into the Del Rey, Key Largo, MP or any other place they have made a LIFE decision.

I almost compare their lives to those of drug addicts. I know one particular girl who thought the life was fun and exciting to start. Just like the drug addict fondly remembers the first high. Easy money, more money in a week than her family may have in months. This begins the addiction. It's fun, easy and look at all the money I can make/ spend. Then the lifestyle changes occur. Now you need more money for yourself, your family, your friends and whoever else. Now, just like the drug addict you have dependance. These are the girls you see in the Del Rey day in and day out. Then when the responsibilities of this new found "wealth" become too great, the pressure mounts to continue to rake in the dough. Then, after so much wear and tear on the body, you are in and out of the doctor. On and off prescriptions for stuff that only their chosen profession brings. Now you have the added costs of medical bills, prescriptions, time off work etc. Your financial life is taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Just as the drug addict, this is the beginning of the end. Underneath it all, the hardened ones are really the most damaged mentally and emotionally. The other side of the fence is really an ugly picture. So, best we just be oblivious to it cuz it would really phuck up the fantasy.


Having said all I said, I agree. Me too. All we can do is remember that they are people too and give them the deserved respect and attempt to understand what is going on behind the facade.

I am withdrawal free when I come home. I had it bad for the first 6 or 7 trips. Something just happened along the way. Maybe I got used to knowing how I would feel when I got home. Progressively, my trips have become less entertaining. Due to boredom (however it's still a hell of alot more fun than a day in the office) and I generally spend alot of time with one person (which is great in one way but sucks ass in another). I don't drink as much as I used to, the novelty of Imperial wore off. I try to get some sleep while there. And I think most importantly is that I realize I HAVE TO GO HOME AND FUNCTION IN MY SOCIETY. The USA is MY society. I have learned that Costa Rica and the Del Rey is NOT my social circle. Costa Rica is good to forget things for a short while. It's just a fact that life in the US does not stop just because I'm in CR.

dapanz1

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Paradise= Sitting outside the Bodega in Panama City about 1 am. Drinking cool Balboas with cool friends and blazin' hot Colombianas. I want to be there..RIGHT NOW!

Wow Dapanz, you paint a pretty depressing picture. And I know you speak from authority, so I'm not going to dispute your account.

But I will say that I believe firmly that with drugs or any other thing one can become dependent on, you still have a choice. And just as many addicts in history (but especially prior to the criminilization of drugs) managed to maintain their habits and live normal responsible lives over a period of years - or even kick their habits completely - it's also possible for the girls to do the same. If I was actually convinced that all of them inevitably fall down the deep dark hole you describe, personally I'm not sure I could keep doing this.

After two trips, I'm still waiting for the "evolution of withdrawal" syndrome to kick in. With trip #3 on tap, all I can think about is where I'm going to experience the next outrageous carnal escapade that tops all the previous ones. I hope I never lose that feeling.

GR...I didn't want to paint such an ugly picture. It is reality. And, the reality is that THEY ALL WANT OUT. Just like a drug addict wants to quit their chosen habit. But, with addicts what is it that makes an addict quit? Generally, that person has to hit rock bottom (everyones rock bottom is defined differently) to realize that what they are doing is self destructive behavior. They have to have a compelling reason to leave the business. Health issues, possibly marriage. Although, I'm not sure that our group of hobbyists would make the best, most supportive of husbands. After all, we do travel 1000's of miles to purchase sexual services. As for my experience with some of the girls, they all have dreams and ambitions. UNFORTUNATELY, due to their circumstances, this is their only perceived hope of achieving a better life. I'm certainly not suggesting that ALL of the girls fall into a deep black hole. But, I have pryed into the psyche and know that lots of them are in a dark place. Think about it..you are the life blood for your family and you have to have random sex with usually unattractive buyers. Most of which are chemically enhanced to assist in prolonging the act.

Ever since I got "involved" with someone in the industry, I have taken it upon myself to do extensive research on prostitution. I have researched it from the buyers side and the sellers side. Believe me, opinions vary WIDELY on every issue pertaining to prostitution.


Hypothetical question: What if you were convinced SOME of them fall down a deep dark hole? Would that change your view? Would that make it better? Just something to think about. Not flaming at all just something to ponder.

I think the advice of not getting involved with a sex worker is great. Once you do know their inner being, their REAL LIFE it can get ugly. I have absolutely, 100% seen the face of poverty. I can only imagine it to possibly be worse in a rice field in Cambodia.

PS..sorry for hijacking the thread.

dapanz1

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Paradise= Sitting outside the Bodega in Panama City about 1 am. Drinking cool Balboas with cool friends and blazin' hot Colombianas. I want to be there..RIGHT NOW!

That was a good post, and I concur with much of it, but I have to disagree
with the above sentence. I don't think that is necessarily true. There are
many chicas who frequent the BM only once a month or so, to help with the bills. These are the true semi-pros. Most of them have 'regular' jobs such as secretaries, teachers, etc., or may even be students. They get
to choose who they go with, to a large extent. They appear shy and usually are by themselves or perhaps with another friend in the BM. If
a Gringo approaches them for conversation or an 'interview', she can always make up an excuse not to go with him. Most of the semi-pros are merely supplementing their income, so they aren't as 'desperate' as the
more hard-core chicas. Many of the semi-pros view the experience as going on a 'date', and in fact actually it is like a date, as they may go dancing in El Pueblo, out to eat, etc.

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"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile, and the rest of us are phucked until we can put our acts together; not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely"...Hunter S. Thompson (RIP)

Agreed. But, one thing they can now proudly call themselves: prostituta.

dapanz1

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Paradise= Sitting outside the Bodega in Panama City about 1 am. Drinking cool Balboas with cool friends and blazin' hot Colombianas. I want to be there..RIGHT NOW!

Ruffnutz,

Hey I have been down this road a long time ago just like you describe but to me you just learn to take it all in stride. It took me a while to understand all the dynamics of the game & I feel like I am still learning new things from new guys on the seen after 20 years of playing with all this. It is for me the greatest game on earth bar none.

It has brought out emotions in me I didn't even know I had? It was overwhelming to a degree at first for me as I felt sad for these girls I met. I met many families & experienced so much in the early years when a gringo was not common place at all. It was for me a very touching event & a huge breath of fresh air from the pressures I had at home. The Ticas were really less professional & many more occasional workers I found.

Now I don't try to change anything I just accept it for what it is. I look at this all like a big swap meet & enjoy the fruits that are offered to me in exchange for what I offer them. As long as everyone is happy I find great joy out of it all. I know I can not fix these peoples life anymore than they can fix mine as we have to fix our own to be truly happy I believe, but we can enjoy a special moment in time & for that one special moment nothing exists in my mine but PURE JOY as my little head sneezes & blows the stress right out of my life.

The best thing I have found is this helps me have a nice balance in my life. I have stress overload here & return there for fantasy overload & on & on it goes but it keeps me happy & I function on all fronts of my life better when I am truly content & happy.

We all find different things that help us & I use this place for entertainment without having to be subjected to the stereo typing I would receive at home not to mention all the legal hassles thanks to all the Brother hood of attorneys that are ruining our older way of life in the US. But I have a feeling that you will find PURA VIDA again once you make it out of the gulch & into some truly wonderful real Ticos homes & find out what awaits you there.

Dapanz1,

Your post is FANTASTIC. You really nailed some points that I want to discuss in more detail than I have time for right now. I will be back later on this as I want to really think about some points.

GOOD STUFF

Zippy

Dapanz1,

I am happy someone brought to light what your post is about. I don't think you are painting an ugly picture but simply talking about the true reality of it all. To me we need a good dose of this from time to time.

I think comparing it to a drug addiction is right on target.

Great posts, all! And it makes me recall what I've learned in stateside action: attitude is everything.

If you see each other as someone you would have enjoyed meeting in a bar or other situation, and go back to someone's place for fun, it turns out pretty much the same. The money is just the set-up for the meeting, and if you keep it from being a big deal, the fun goes on just fine.

I came to think of the money as sort of a "retainer" for a certain skilled group of attractive women who have reserved a portion of their lives for us. The "downside" is we don't get to think of ourselves as uniquely attractive to her, and we may not think too seriousily of cutting her out of the herd for our very own -- we'd be messing up her livelihood!

(Or, like we're the male and female members of a very privileged club, and we only deserve its benefits if we mutually follow the rules and best practices that the club has developed to enjoy its hobby.)

Unless the chemistry is very right AND you can make her a better offer, then you might as well just enjoy the moment and the memory. It's been worth it for me, in its time and place.

The hardening or wearing down? Well, it takes a certain segment of women to embark upon this with any regularity, and also to find their own exit point, a very solitary commitment, I imagine. Many do not handle it well, but it is possible and many do. Planning a long-range financial future is something most 20-somethings just don't do -- anywhere.

The business of being a courtesan goes back thousands of years, and it carries the penalty of deferring marriage and family, and the risk of never achieving them, but the wise and lucky woman can pull it off just like any other, and maybe do even better overall.

But as dapanz says so well, it is a high-stakes game for them, and many spin out of control.

To walk into a lower-income country and enjoy a session with a new-met friend requires respect, a light-hearted attitude, and appreciation. I've done that, and hit at least 70-30 with partners who responded well to me. Certainly didn't feel like either of us was sliding downhill on those occasions. (I worried about a few of the others, but not for very long )

Ruff…

Enjoyed your post and insights to the Three Step Program. Very similar in many ways the feelings that I have had over my last four trips… Toughest for me was the Guilt Stage of not being able to make right all the wrongs that exist. The Backstage View when taken for what it is, was the most difficult aspect of My Travels to a Third World Country for the First Time.

I had never really given much thought to the any of my State Side Activities that I have been involved with over the years. Maybe because of the Gringa Attitudes and Liberated ways that Woman in the USA has evolved into. But still for some unknown reasoning I find my thoughts are Heavy for the loved ones that I have met in CR.

Call it Romanticism, Foolishness or what ever but for me it does exist. I salute the ones that can take the “lifestyle” and maintain a level headiness or control over their desires and emotions.

Like to mention too that Dapanz1 your comments are a cold splash of water that wakens the senses for what you speak is probably truths played out everyday for this unheralded profession. A profession that has been in existence for many years and no matter what attempts are made by the Romantics or the Realist there will always be that Backstage and the Performers staging what may be their Final Curtail Call..

Ruff will be looking forward to reading your Fourth Installment of “Evolution of Withdraw”..

JB