I never said that one had to be totally sober or clean, just sober enough to avoid being a total sphincter and clean enough not to get kicked out of the place!
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| A Gentleman's Code of Honor https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=5580 |
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| Author: | El Ciego [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A Gentleman's Code of Honor |
I recently posted a similar thread to this one in the V.I.P. Forum. At the suggestion of several V.I.P. members, I am reposting this to the Gentlemen’s Guide section. Some V.I.P. members even suggested that the following become a sticky. Attitude is paramount while mongering anywhere; I discovered this during my first trip to C.R. There are things which can easily upset one in Costa Rica, inconveniences and miscommunication. If you're strolling on the positive side, maintain your friendly cool and hold your head up, there will be nothing that will louse up your trip. Patience is not just a virtue here; it is essential to survival. Furthermore you'll find more smiles returned to you here than any other place in the world I've visited, but we all owe it to ourselves and to each other to conduct our affairs with dignity, class, humor, patience anda degree of respect for others. We are as a group judged on the behavior of a few, and even one careless act can leave others both within and outside our hobby with a lasting, negative impression. The following Gentleman’s Code was developed with feedback from other board members; please let me know what you think. I am a gentleman player who holds these things to be part of my code of behavior and of honor. 1. I will not use my economic advantage to abuse Ch*ldren. I will never knowingly have sex with a Ch*ld under the age of consent in her country. Furthermore, I will not use my economic advantage to knowingly prey upon any woman who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. 2. I will not expose any sexual partner, personal or professional to risk of sexual disease or otherwise endanger her. I will practice safer sex at all times. Risk management shall be my responsibility. 3. I shall never strike a woman in anger. 4. I shall treat my sexual playmate as a friend with the respect and etiquette of a gentleman. 5. I shall negotiate price and service in a calm and friendly manner, but I shall be firm regarding cost. I will not undermine other hobbyists by overpaying for service. I acknowledge that even reasonable prices charged by local sex workers already earn them a superior income to other women of similar background, education and skills. 6. I shall not feel guilt. If I have treated the prostitute with respect and friendly gentility, if I have paid a fair price, if I have protected her and myself against sexually transmitted infection, then I have nothing about which to feel guilt. Both she and I have won the game. 7. I understand that the hobby brings with it certain dangers from crime, therefore I will watch the backs of my fellow hobbyists, offer protection when possible, and always offer friendly support. We are a band of brothers and we shall care for our own. 8. I am discreet and do not discuss my exploits with others outside the hobby. 9. I will treat other tourists and residents of Costa Rica with the same regard I would want shown to me. 10. I expect my sexual playmates to be clean and attractive. I will keep myself fit and clean, groomed and sober enough to comport myself as a gentleman. 11. I know that earthly life is brief. I intend to enjoy as much of it as I can. The pursuit of pleasure is a worthy pastime. I shall therefor try to maintain the demeanor of one who is thoroughly enjoying life with enthusiasm, passion and a lecherous grin. |
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| Author: | SlickWings [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Still have issues with a sub-part of number 10. Otherwise, I'm in. |
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| Author: | El Ciego [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Hey Slick Wings! :) |
I never said that one had to be totally sober or clean, just sober enough to avoid being a total sphincter and clean enough not to get kicked out of the place!
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| Author: | Ruffnutz [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
El Ciego, I like, I like very very much. I would like to tell a story about something that happened to me at the Blue Marlin just this past Saturday. I was with my buddy having a drink, when these three guys sit in close proximity to us. There was one guy in his early 30's and two guys in their early to mid-20's. One of the two younger guys was drunk out of his mind, and it was only about 11am. Across from all of us were two chicas just minding their business and a young Asian fella approached them and started chatting it up with them. The drunk guy yells across the room, "Hey, if you talk to that girl in the red anymore, I'm gonna slap you in the face." The Asian guy didn't hear him (due to heavy slurring on the drunk guy's part), and so approached the three guys and asked the drunk guy to repeat himself. The drunk guy gets in the Asian's face and says it again in a loud and intimidating tone, "If you talk to that girl that I was looking at, I'm gonna slap you in the face." The Asian humbly puts his head down and walks away. Then the three guys start talking and the drunk guy starts talking about a knife that he carries around and all other types of nonsense .... My long winded moral of the story can be revealed by the mood that set after that happened... the chicas within earshot just started talking shit about how Gringos suck and are assholes and whatnot (I am fluent in Spanish so I understood clearly), and all the guys in the general vicinity just felt uncomfortable and bothered by what had just happened. I am guilty of not saying anything, and inaction upon observing something wrong is almost as bad as doing the wrong thing yourself, so I am a guilty party here too. But, the bottom line is that I think these rules are a GREAT code to go by and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT that we are judged as a group by the stupidity of a few individuals. We should all take this to heart and it will benefit us in terms of always having a SAFE and FUN trip. Ruffnutz |
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| Author: | norfolkbill [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 3:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Great Story Ruffnutz |
Definitely worth the read |
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| Author: | RearWindow [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Drunk guy was lucky asian guy didn't lay him out. I have had very few bad mongering experiences vis a vis other mongers. But the ones that stand out were very bad indeed. One in particular in DomRep. Ahole from boston telling the Haitian girls they were gorillas. I am a pacifist, but had he done that twice, I was gonna clock him. Still feel the bile rising when I see his sorry old ass. OK, I'm better now. 
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| Author: | El Ciego [ Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | "Bad monger" stories topic? |
It might be fun and illuminating to discuss other examples of bad monger behavior. I'm guilty of some, I know.  For example, when introduced to a girl at bar Iten, I got a little too "touchy-feelie" with her. Not completely my fault; I thought Iten was a place like Kamur or something, and I overstepped my bounds. Fortunately, management, the lady and my wing man were all cool about it, gently explaining the rules, but I'm sure I could have caused a scene. Fact is, unless one really works at it, it's pretty easy to forget your manners. The Imperials and Pilsens get flowing, maybe some Centenario, maybe some green cigarettes, and the next thing you know...Instant Butt-hole. I'm growing and learning of course, and will make fewer of this kind of mistake.
Unlike some, I do appreciate honest correction and advice from other mongers, if my behavior warrants it. I will carry a copy of the Code with me and refresh my memory from time to time. I find that, at least for me, misbehaving on vacation is a lot easier than behaving properly, but I try, I try.
The only bad monger behavior i witnessed was at a restaurant, where a fairly intoxicated group of gringos was busy giving no end of shit to the waiter, who either could not or would not provide the group with "to go" cups for their drinks, but most of the guys I met were okay. I'd like to think that even though we're judged by the bad behavior of a few, we are also judged better as more and more of us behave like gentlemen. After all, isn't that what we are? |
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| Author: | LVSteve [ Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ah, the Ugly American. I've wittnessed that kind of behavior many times and EVERY time, the Gringo in question is DRUNK. Some guys can handle booze, Costa Rica and The Blue Marlin. Other's can't. Those that can't make it diffucult for the rest of us - especially those of us that live here and can't just get on a plane next week and get out of Dodge. Best thing to do is talk to his buddies - enlist thier aid because you can't reason with a DRUNK. Last but not least, apologize (in spanish if possible) to the locals. Tell them that he is not typical - he is an exception. LVSteve |
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| Author: | Gringotim [ Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
LVSteve wrote: Last but not least, apologize (in spanish if possible) to the locals. Tell them that he is not typical - he is an exception. LVSteve I think that most Ticos and Ticas who work in the public sector and/or customer service (that includes the BM chicas) realize that there will always be a few drunken or obnoxious Gringos there, and realize that they are indeed not typical. I don't think apologizing is the best way to handle it. What's always worked for me is to add some humor/jocularity to the situation. Just say one or more of the following to the offended individuals (either while the obnoxious person is still there or after he has left)... Gringo maricon Gringo cabron Gringo pendejo Usually we all get a good laugh, and it adds some humor/levity to the situation. If the obnoxious individual is especially egregious, and you're feeling 'bold' (or just plain pissed off) you may even want to say the above comments so he can hear them. Just to clarify, the meanings of the above terms are... maricon: a gay man cabron: literally means a male goat; the 'good' meaning is a male/stud who is looking for hot chicas; the 'bad' meaning is a man whose wife is screwing someone else, and he won't do anything about it pendejo: literally means pubic hair, but also means a coward Mente...have I erred in any of the above meanings? |
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| Author: | El Ciego [ Tue Mar 15, 2005 1:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Phrases |
Gringotim wrote: LVSteve wrote: Last but not least, apologize (in spanish if possible) to the locals. Tell them that he is not typical - he is an exception. LVSteve I think that most Ticos and Ticas who work in the public sector and/or customer service (that includes the BM chicas) realize that there will always be a few drunken or obnoxious Gringos there, and realize that they are indeed not typical. I don't think apologizing is the best way to handle it. What's always worked for me is to add some humor/jocularity to the situation. Just say one or more of the following to the offended individuals (either while the obnoxious person is still there or after he has left)... Gringo maricon Gringo cabron Gringo pendejo Usually we all get a good laugh, and it adds some humor/levity to the situation. If the obnoxious individual is especially egregious, and you're feeling 'bold' (or just plain pissed off) you may even want to say the above comments so he can hear them. "phucking Gringo asshole" "Poor fellow. They only let him out of the Institution once a year, and he always does this." "Forgive him. It's a brain injury." "Have another drink, butt-fuck! "Forgive him. He was born without a penis/testicles/Father/brain/genetalia/the necessary equipment." If these and other phrases are said slowly and clearly, even non-English speaking locals will probably "get it." Physical gestures (i.e. pointing to the head while describing his brain injury might help). Other useful Spanish phrases might include: Pendejo tonto/loco./burracho El es torpe = He's torpid (stupid) Damn...I'm serious. I'm drinking Starbuck's breakfast blend this morning after two months of Costa Rican Americo and 1820. I'm wired like a damn telephone switchboard. |
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| Author: | Furryman [ Tue Mar 15, 2005 3:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Gentleman's Code of Honor |
El Ciego wrote: I am a gentleman player who holds these things to be part of my code of behavior and of honor.
1. I will not use my economic advantage to abuse Ch*ldren. I will never knowingly have sex with a Ch*ld under the age of consent in her country. Furthermore, I will not use my economic advantage to knowingly prey upon any woman who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. 2. I will not expose any sexual partner, personal or professional to risk of sexual disease or otherwise endanger her. I will practice safer sex at all times. Risk management shall be my responsibility. 3. I shall never strike a woman in anger. 4. I shall treat my sexual playmate as a friend with the respect and etiquette of a gentleman. 5. I shall negotiate price and service in a calm and friendly manner, but I shall be firm regarding cost. I will not undermine other hobbyists by overpaying for service. I acknowledge that even reasonable prices charged by local sex workers already earn them a superior income to other women of similar background, education and skills. 6. I shall not feel guilt. If I have treated the prostitute with respect and friendly gentility, if I have paid a fair price, if I have protected her and myself against sexually transmitted infection, then I have nothing about which to feel guilt. Both she and I have won the game. 7. I understand that the hobby brings with it certain dangers from crime, therefore I will watch the backs of my fellow hobbyists, offer protection when possible, and always offer friendly support. We are a band of brothers and we shall care for our own. 8. I am discreet and do not discuss my exploits with others outside the hobby. 9. I will treat other tourists and residents of Costa Rica with the same regard I would want shown to me. 10. I expect my sexual playmates to be clean and attractive. I will keep myself fit and clean, groomed and sober enough to comport myself as a gentleman. 11. I know that earthly life is brief. I intend to enjoy as much of it as I can. The pursuit of pleasure is a worthy pastime. I shall therefor try to maintain the demeanor of one who is thoroughly enjoying life with enthusiasm, passion and a lecherous grin. /Signed I like it, well written. I have never clocked a guy in a bar, but I have accidentally stepped on a few toes, and being the big guy I am, they have felt it. 
Check my trip report novella from november to see the sad tale of 'scruffy' a malo gringo who may never be topped in my eyes 
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| Author: | Gringotim [ Tue Mar 15, 2005 4:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Gringotim wrote: Just to clarify, the meanings of the above terms are... maricon: a gay man cabron: literally means a male goat; the 'good' meaning is a male/stud who is looking for hot chicas; the 'bad' meaning is a man whose wife is screwing someone else, and he won't do anything about it pendejo: literally means pubic hair, but also means a coward Mente...have I erred in any of the above meanings? On my third or fourth trip to CR, I was sitting next to a couple of Ticos at a bar, engaging in a little conversation. I told the Tico next to me that I liked coming to CR because the women were so beautiful. He then says "oh...you cabron!". As I did not know as much Espanol as I now do, I thought he meant the derogatory meaning. I told the bartender, who was a good friend of mine, and he explained the 'good' meaning to me. I had thought the guy wanted to fight! |
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| Author: | LVSteve [ Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
El Diego; I have actually used"phucking gringo" in the past and, yes everyone understands a laughs. Gringotim is right - kind of releives the tension. BUT from now on its Gringo Maricon or Cabon. LVSteve |
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| Author: | Tman [ Wed Mar 16, 2005 12:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Culturally I would advise everyone against using Spanish slang like "cabron" and "maricone" when talking to locals or the girls. THese expressions mean a lot of different things depending on context, inflection of tone, and to whom you are talking. People have been killed for misuse of language...and we "gringos" are some of the worst offenders. There are expressions I learned when living in Mexico that mean nothing or are humorous in Costa RIca...and there are "harmless" expressions used in Costa RIca that may get you killed in Mexico. So, best to not use expressions until you know ALL their meanings... and know with whom you are speaking. |
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| Author: | Florida [ Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WILLIS |
a code of conduct of anything. everybody should be courteous and show PATIENCE in the united states in canada everywhere all the time. there are communication problems everywhere, esp because people d not phucking listn to what you are saying and phucking twist everything thing around. PATIENCE is a virtue   try to treat others like you want to be treated. you can not shop for 45 minutes and be checked out in 45 seconds. sometimes i feel like people are in a hurry for there own funeral. pura vida
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