www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Dear Astro,
I met a hot chica at the Blue Marlin, she claimed it was her first night there and I felt like I was taking advantage of her for 30k so I gave her cien. She calls me "mi amor", kisses me and makes me feel special, so I really think she is in love with me. But our "dates" always end up with her asking for more money at the end of the night.
I saw her again at the BM after she said she didn't work there anymore and she told me she was just hanging with her friends.
Could this girl be lying to me? Should I give her the $1000.00 she says she needs for school?
--CONFUSED IN CR

If I was new to this board what would I be thinking of you right now?
Lee

Dear Astro,
Please make them stop !! They're killing me !!.........I'm lying here, 3 days after being sliced and diced to repair a double hernia, and both Paco and Latino are doing their best to bust my stitches wide open .........AAAAAAAAAAHHHH !!!.......It hurts when I laugh !!
Capt.

Doe she have a sister?

Paco
I think you should give her whatever she needs to finish school. who knows,she could wind up being a doctor and having many of us as patients. Imagine a check-up with a "happy ending". Also if she had already graduated,she could have done Captain's hernia operation.

Confused in CR writes:

You will meet many hot chicas in Costa Rica. With very few exceptions, they will all be lying to you. In the Blue Marlin Bar, the will ALL be lying to you. On that rare occasion when you find the newbie there for her first night, do a little due diligence before being taken in by her story. Check her scorecard with Vegas Bob who should should be lurking nearby. Chances are he has already done her, and knows all the other guys that did her as well. Never pay cien....and never pay what they ask for....andif you pay MORE than what they ask for you may be killed by other CRT members.



They always call you "mi amor." That means "stupid gringo asshole" in espaniol. They are very good at making you thinking they really love you. If they did, they would never bring up money. By asking for more money at the end of the night she is proving what she REALLY sees in you...a big fat walking ATM card. Don't be that stupid.



No chica hangs out at the BM with her friends unless she is "on the program" the Hotel Del Rey is well known by EVERY chica in Costa Rica....as well as most chicas in every central american city. Once a chica starts "working" at the hotel Del Rey, they are lost....ruined....destroyed. Oh, we can still screw them, but they are worthless as far as any emotional honesty is concerned. So to answer your question, I guarantee she is lying to you.



Well of course not. Never pay a chica in advance of services rendered. Only pay her AFTER those services are rendered to your satisfaction. With hundreds of chicas in Costa Rica all willing to make you happy, it would be unusual to find ONE that you want to be with exclusively. If however, you find ONE that you think is so special that you only want to be with her, work a deal with her. Tell her that you will agree to be with her ONLY for your trip to Costa Rica. Do not pay her as you go....but pay her at the end. A good rule of thumb would be $200 a day (although Some will do down to $100), all day and all night. As much sex as you can handle whenever you want it. Of course you also should cover her expenses during this time, maybe take her to La Playa, or Tabacon....something special. Assuming your trip lasts 5 days or more, she will earn her $1,000....and you will pay her when finished. If you find a chica that is that much fun to be with, that makes you forget about all the other chicas...and is willing to spend 5 or 6 days just with you....maybe it would be worth it.

Good Luck--CONFUSED IN CR

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ASTROGLIDE

This is so phucking funny I might give him his own Subsection!

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OK Astro...how much to be the "Dear Abby" of CRT?

ok

Dear Astro,
I recently met a sweet, affectionate Colombiana at Key Largo, she made eyes at me, blew kisses from across the room, and called me "mi amor" within 1 minute of our introductions. I knew for sure this was "the one", it was truly love at first sight, or so I thought. We drank, danced then made love for many minutes in my hotel room (for an agreed price).
She claimed she was 26, but my amigo asked if that was in "DelRey Years?" can you explain Delrey years? Is that somehow related to "Tica-time"?
We set up a date for the next evening, I waited for hours but she never showed. (I think instead of Victoria Secret perfume I should have given her a watch).
I saw her later that evening at the bar throwing her affections upon a much older, balding, overweight gringo. I made sure she saw me but she just smiled and winked behind his back. I thought our love was real, how could she do that to me?
--HEARTBROKEN IN SAN JOSE

Paco,

Your killing me.............



Admin...............ASTRO NEEDS HIS OWN SECTION !!

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" I have neither the time nor the inclination to expain myself "

ok

Heartbroken in San Jose writes:

Many have asked me that question, and I am happy to explain it here. A "Del Rey Year" refers to the amount of time a chica claims to age, while working at the Del Rey. A "Del Rey Year" is actually three years for every year claimed. In other words, if your 26 year old Columbiana started working at the Del Rey when she was 20, and she told you she was 26, she would really be 38, because she was claiming only one year for every three years working there. It is very difficult to know for sure, because most latina's look younger than they really are. For example, Lucy, a well known Del Rey puta, is actually 110. She doesn't look a day over 60. In her earlier years she was known to have had a steamy affair with Pancho Villa.



Yes, it is related to Tica Time. Tica Time is generally double to triple the equivalent in Monger Time. A monger hour is actually slightly less than an hour, around 43 minutes. If a monger claims he screwed a chica non-stop for 30 minutes, it was probably more like 14. On the same token, if a Tica tells you to wait for her, she will be back in one hour, it will probably be more like two hours, or not at all. Tica time is never definite, always an estimate, and always a lie. Ticas feel no obligation to follow any certain time. Most of them love to be given a watch but rarely wear one, and never look at one. If the estimate given is for the FOLLOWING day, the chances are in the 90% range that by the following morning, the promise to show up will have been completely forgotten. Ticas have no guilt or shame about this. In fact, it is expected. If a Tica does show up on time, it is obviously a mistake.



To understand the chica mentality you have to look at the way they were raised. From an early age they are tought to USE their sexuality to get what they want. Most of them have no fathers in the home. They learn about males from their Tico boyfriends. These fine gentlemen train our latinas that they are good for one thing....screwing. They teach them if they want something, they gotta flaunt their sexuality. They learn to lie, cheat, and steal to survive. They learn that the sluttier they dress, the more attention they get. They learned that the pu*sy is their most powerful device, and it can be used to get almost anything. They learn that the prettier they are, the better chance they have of getting what they want. They learn that turning it on and off is just a game. They learn that the Ticos they are taught by really will never love them for them, but only for those short encounters of sexual activity. These encounters are usually uninspired, and over quickly....and the Tico moves on to his next chica. Eventually, they take this attitude to the Del Rey, and use all they have learned against helpless gringos that do not know how to play the game. These gringos become putty in their hands and are easily abused. Sadly, some of them like it that way, but the smart ones wise up, and learn to play the game. Hopefully, so will you.

Good Luck--HEARTBROKEN IN SAN JOSE

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ASTROGLIDE

AG wrote:


Ok Astro that one made me rofl. At first thought this whole thread was kind of amusing, but that was about it, however after reading your past few "columns" I have to submit the following:

Admin's 1,2 & 3:
Assuming Astro agrees please give Astro his own sub-section. After seeing some of the posts in the past few weeks, while if not flaming were at best rude and insensative, we need some light hearted comic relief.

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Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

I can live with it.. but unforunately Astro usually posts on the weekends only... Imagine, the amount of desperately seekeing answers of our members waiting... all week... Astro if you have the drive ...

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