With over 20 years dabbling in this game in some form or another, as well as almost 10 years as a member of this board, I figured I'd take the time to memorialize some of the things I've learned over the years... My munger musings:
1. Never munger in Thailand if you aren’t into Asian gals… mostly Asian gals in Thailand.
2. When coming back to a drink you left unattended, always pretend to take a sip of the drink but don’t actually do so. If the gal you are with holds her breathe, opens her eyes wide in anxious anticipation of you passing out, then you should probably order a new drink.
3. As a K*D I always wondered how cool would it be to be a celebrity… On that note, I find amusing sometimes, when I’m people watching at a bar or club, to see a mega hot gal strutting around, gathering stares and jaw-drops from every man that catches sight of her… and I tell myself, I know how that feels to be the desired one. I know what it’s like to walk through a sea of girls and be the one who needs to avoid eye contact with everyone, to be able to have anyone I want in a room and have the luxury of having my way with whomever I want, whenever I want, however I want. This is one of those joys of being a munger that only other mungers can relate to… we know what it feels like to live the life of a rock star, but all the while having the ability to go back to “real life”… I bet many rocks stars sometimes wish they had a ‘real life’ to fall back to and get away from it all in between parties.
4. Rub one out as often as possible. Sex, like exercise, is something you have to maintain a habit of. I can still go 10 rounds a day and am almost 40… I proudly attribute that to excessive masturbation.
5. I find it amazing that the most users ever online was 168 on Sat Dec 10, 2005 at 8:45 am… That was TEN YEARS ago when the member count was significantly lower than now. Wonder how that record hasn’t been broken yet…
6. In my experience, there is commonly a direct correlation between guys who calls gals “whores/putas/etc” and those who do not get as good a session, nor as good a reputation as those who avoid those names (this applies to real life as well as mongering). I have respected and treated with dignity every woman I’ve been with, and I am blessed to say I have had that repaid back to me tenfold. Someone once wrote, “I have never scorned the chicas for what they do. Remember "Catcher in the Rye" when the boy said, "Why do the guys talk badly about the girls that do it for them… they are only doing what the guys want.” One to reflect on, as surely it will be understood/accepted in different ways by different folks.
7. I’ve learned that anyone who says money doesn’t buy happiness is more often than not broke.
8. I’ve learned it’s ok to fall in love here and then… I temporarily fall in love with every gal I am with and treat her as such… and it makes all the difference on how they treat me back.
9. I’ve learned that it’s great to eat Thai food in Thailand, go to Brazilian steakhouses in Brazil, eat French Fries in France, drink German beer in Germany, etc etc… For reasons unknown to me, it seems the locals make their own food better than anywhere else in the world.
10. I’ve learned that Colombian aguardiente goes down much better when at freezing temperature.
11. I’ve learned that fidelity is a myth… particularly among mungers. My thoughts are that most of us have such a phucked up way at looking at true and real relationships that we are are setting ourselves up for disappointment after disappointment due to the double standard that we set for ourselves... Do you want to have your girlfriend/partner/wife be true to you?... Stop being a dog behind her back and follow the golden rule of 'do unto others as you would want done unto you'. Women, whether working girls or semi-pros or non-pros or gringas, are human beings that deserve the same fundamental level of respect that us as men in general demand as well, and we would only be hypocrites to pretend we can do what the Phuck we want by excuse of "we are programmed to sow our oats, etc, etc," while women are held to some unfair comparison where they need to ALWAYS be monogomous or else they are labeled as whores or tramps or damaged goods. If you can't live up to a certain standard in life, then don't expect that of your partner either… you’ll see that things go much smoother when playing on even playing field.
12. I know without a doubt that the days of Help Disco were the golden age of mongering, and nothing will ever, ever, ever come close…. NEVER (fo’ eva eva? Fo’ eva eva!!). Help Disco’s opening bell at night, beach mungering all morning, and Terma hopping all afternoon, all at the reasonable prices they once were at were the MECCA of mungering, and if you missed the opportunity to enjoy that scene, well my friend… you’ll never quite understand what you missed in life, and it really was not only indescribable, but forever incomparable.
13. God bless these honey-bunnies, who give us much more than we deserve at our ages and/or looks... no one should complain or haggle over the prices they charge... we are getting laid by kittens who are way out of our league and they are giving us more of themselves than most of us can ever bring ourselves to understand in an objective way.
14. I’ve learned it’s ok to pay cien… but it’s also ok to pay it to a 10 looks and a 10 performer. If you’re gonna pay for it, why not go for, and expect, the best?
15. I’ve learned to never miss an opportunity to express your appreciation to fellow mungers you are fond of… for they may not be around next time you return to your stomping grounds. So many great guys I can think of that I wish I gave that one last ‘man-hug’ to and said “you da man, bro… thanks for all the good times” before they vanished from the scene or passed away unexpectedly.
16. On the flip side, I’ve learned there’s no need to pretend with the guys you don’t care about. C’mon now, there’s a shit-ton of weird and/or unpleasant mo’fo’s in “this thing of ours”, and as a good friend of mine taught me, the general population of guys in the scene are simply wall-paper… In the end, it’s all about the ladies and sharing good times with good friends. The rest is just noise.
17. For some of us, it’s also all about excessive alcohol.
18. I’ve learned that shaved balls really do make a difference… and there’s a never-ending thread to prove it
19. I’ve learned that anyone who says you don’t need to drink to have fun is obviously on the wagon for some reason or another.
20. I’ve learned over the years that not everyone is as fond of loud reggeaton music as I am.
21. I’m of the mind that a limp dick is counterproductive to mungering, yet certain urban pharmaceuticals that cause just that are quite common in the scene… never quite understood that.
22. I’ve learned that gentlemen that take pride in themselves, even at the basic level of showering daily, maintaining fresh breath, clean cut, etc. get better attention from everyone in general. The more pride you take in yourself, the better your experience in all aspects of life will be.
23. I’ve learned that as clichéd as it may sound, life is short… It seems like only yesterday that I walked into the Black Angus brothel in San Juan, Puerto Rico and spent $40 on the best 45 seconds of my life… and that was 23 years ago. My, how the years have flown by… And I know I’m more than likely well past the halfway point in my life, and as a result, I do my best to enjoy every moment of every trip like it’s the last day of my life.
24. Make an effort to introduce yourself to someone as often as possible on your trips. Sure, you’ll dislike most of the folks you meet for one reason or another, but if you’re lucky, you’ll find a true gem of a person here and then. I’ve met several life-long friends in “this thing of ours”, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world… and I wouldn’t have ever met them, were it not for this thing we do.
25. Play your game as you see fit and be wary of those who think they know everything on how things work in “this thing of ours” and try to impose their way as the only way… to quote Socrates, “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” I learn every day something new about this game, as well as about life itself… always be open to wise advice, but in the end, be you and play things out the way that will make you happy. Wanna pay more than cien…? Cool. Wanna respond to RFM’s…? Fantastic. You want to call that one specific gal you’re fond of your novia…? Awesome. Do your thing, and focus on making yourself happy, you’ll never satisfy the entire peanut gallery nor get a standing ovation from the audience… and in the end only you can make yourself content.
Finally… I’ve learned over the ten years of being a CRT member that reading all the way to the end of some posts has sometimes been a complete waste of precious time, and for that I thank you, bitches, for reading all the way to this point… here's to ten more years of fun
-Ruff
