www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Guys I need some input on a rather delicate situation. Would hope for a response from someone who is old enouigh to have sons of mongering age.

Plan on coming down in February. Already had my reservation at El Presidented.

My eldest son (35) has recently gone through a divorce and when I mentioned I would be traveling to CR for a couple of weeks, he asked if I wanted some company. He lives in the Dallas/Ft Worth area and so can pic up some tickets rather inexpensively.

My problem is that he doesn't have a clue that I monger. He's not naive, but I have no way of knowing whether he is familiar with the scene. He's very internet savvy and it won't take him long if he's curious.

He is the gleam in his Mother's eye and I'm sure he wouldn't want her to know that he was into P4P. Do I move into the Amon Plaza while he is down there with me so we stay away from the mongering scene ? Do I drop a hint that there are available to him (or to US). I sure as hell don't want him thinking that I'm screwing around on his mother (which obviously I am and am a little guilt-ridden about that.)

Anyone have any experiences along these lines. I value the opinions expressed here.

I have a reservation for a prime junior suite at El Presidente. Should I offer it to some fellow CRT guy before I cancel so he can snap it up ? Would the hotel let someone else assume your reservation if you give them the go ahead and release it ? Or would they just offer it up to the next person wanting a junior suite. Naturally I'd rather have it go to a CRT guy that just anyone.

Muchas gracias for giving this some thought,

Jose

Jose:

That is a tough one. My first instinct is rather than bring him down - send him down as a "get out of jail" trip. Do it even if you have to pay for him and a buddy. Just give him access to this web site and he will have the keys to the kingdom. I have considered bringing my own son down, he is single,20 and like a lot of k*ds these days naive about the real world, but thought better of it. Perhaps its my parochial upbringing, but I think it may provide your son with too much information to absorb at once.

Your request reminded me of a situation I encountered a few trip back. At the rail I met two middle aged guys from the mid west. One was the owner of a business and the other worked for him. They had just gotten back from Arenel after having spent three days with two local beauties. But here is where it gets bizzare.

The factory owner also brought along his son-in-law who ,you guessed it, was the son of his employee and of course married to his daughter. Too weird for me! I wouldn't want to be at the next family picnic.

Oh well, to each his own.

Jose.
On another thread we just had a discussion about leaving yourself open to judgment. I am assuming your wife and you are still together and not divorced. You must decide if you're willing to take the chance of being judged in a negative light for your activities before you tell him.
He does sound like someone that could use some diversion. The trick would be to show him what's available but not leaving any evidence that you participate.

A few years back my nephew expressed a desire to come on a trip with me (I am his godfather and it is what he wanted for his 21st birthday). I had no desire to make a big show of what I was doing but at the same time I wanted him to know what was available out there in the world. So I played it like this. I got us two rooms at the president apart from each other so that each of us would have privacy. On our first day there we visited the travel agent and booked some tours. Some that we would do together and some just for him (like rafting that his old Uncle would not want to do). That way I would have time to myself to pursue what makes me happy.

On our first evening there I told him I was going to take him on a tour of the nightlife of San Jose. I made a point to warn him that he was in a different culture and that they would be a few things that would shock him. So off to the Blue Marlin we went. He never saw me with a girl and what he did while I was not around was not ask.

Not the same situation I know. Primarily because I was not married. But that's how I handled that one.
Lee

Jose, You are playing with fire.....keep the scene seperate from your stateside life as long as you are married.
My .02 worth

Anyone with a brain knows there is NO reason to ever visit San Jose unless you are a monger. I can't imagine hiding that fact. I have spoken to close to a dozen married couples or single women who have visited obviously for non-monger reasons and none has ever stepped foot in SJ.

SJ=mongering

So i think anyone bringing a son must realize he will put 2+2 together.

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Una mas cerveza por favor!

I have a similar dilema as I have 22 year old son who has no immediate interest in settling down and getting married but likes to party and have a good time.I would realy like to bring him down to see the country and get a taste of mongering but not sure it is the right thing to do.I don't want to screw up the rest of his life on getting married and having a family as I wouldn't take for the experience of having my Ch*ldren even though the marriage ended badly for the K*ds and myself.I certianly know I wish I had known more when I was younger as compared to discovering these opportunities aproaching 50 after two divorces.rbc100

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In Search of Fine Kittens,
Please... Bring back the Muff

This seems pretty clear. If you value your marriage, and you value your son's impression of you (namely, how you treat his mother), DON'T meet him in San Jose.

If you don't monger, what are you going to do in SJ? He'll figure out that there is no real attraction there and start to doubt all your previous trips.

If you expose him to mongering, and then you monger on the sly, he'll figure it out. Why risk it??

Suggest that he celebrate his new freedom. He shouldn't waste his time with his old man in an old timer's hang out. He should go to Brazil, a place with a lot of women! Help pay for his ticket with the money you'll save on tours in CR.

And tell him to take some photos.

You may ruin him for life RBC, but you know him better than anyone.
Seriously, I can say I wish I'd have known about CR 10-15 yrs. ago but the truth is I was not ready for it- probably not mature enough or financially responsible enough to handle it, or had enough sense to keep my mouth shut. And I'd probably be broke by now and playing a tuba or shining shoes in front of the Presidente...

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Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Jose-
IMHO, do not put your son in a position like you are suggesting. No good will come from it. You might even cause him a few sleepless nights.
I don't know what you tell your wife, but he will know you are lying and cheating. No son needs to know that.
I would probably still be married if I could have come down to SJ a few times a year though.

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Why Chicas Come to CostaRica:

"Predators gather where prey abounds"

IMHO, you have two choices, which in their most basic form are: do it or don't do it.

Don't do it = Nothing results of it. Nothing lost or gained. Life continues as it is and all parties are none the wiser.

Do it = Many bad things can happen... Regardless how liberal you two may be or how good and cool your relationship is, you as the dad exposing him to this may consequentially result in him seeing you in a different light, both as he sees you as a father and as he sees you as the husband of his mother. You said yourself that you already feel guilty about cheating on her, this feeling may magnify if your own son is aware of that fact as well...

I personally have experimented with many of the things in life that are considered to be on the lower end of the moralistic scale (pre-marital sex, infidelity, mongering, recreational drugs (ahem, I mean only booze of course), etc.), but I have learned of these things on my own or with my own circle of friends. I don't think it would have been appropriate for me to learn first-hand from my father, as a father's job is to be the role model and authority figure for a son or daughter. Regardless of what your personal hobbies are, you should always strive to always show your best side as an example to your Ch*ldren (even when the Ch*ldren are 35 year old adults).

I want to be clear on what I am saying, I am not saying that mongering is BAD, but you really don't know if your son may in fact think it is, and you being the one exposing him to this lifestyle will forever create an association between you, the father, and mongering in his head... if he so happens to think that it's wrong in any way, it may change your relationship and his opinion of you for the worst. Not to mention the fact that you will burden him with the knowledge of your infidelity to his mother, which puts him in a very bad situation, as he will be torn between keeping the secret and betraying his mom or revealing what he knows and betraying you, either way he loses... not a fun place to be.

If mongering is something that he is even remotely interested in, it isn't hard these days with resources such as the internet and his own circle of friends (in which there is bound to be ATLEAST ONE sicko mongerer) to do his own homework and experiment on his own, with no one he considers a role model (or a dad, in this matter) to be held indirectly responsible or associated with his experiences or opinions on the matter. Like all things in life, he will find whatever it is he is interested in on his own time and will make opinions and decisions on his own without your help.

As I said when I started, by not doing it, nothing is lost or gained, nothing is risked. I hope that I didn't get too personal on this answer, I happen to be a psych major and tend to automatically start going neck-deep in analyzing situations like this. I could have written more, but I think it would have begun to border on repetition and redundancy, I think you can see my points clear enough with what I wrote.

I wish you good luck on your decision, whatever it may be.

Ruffnutz

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EVERYONE'S A ROCK STAR IN C.R.!!
"Just when I thought I was out... They pull me back in." -- Ruffnutz on trying to quit CRT

Some time ago I met a father and son here in CR,from the same place that I am originally from. They were mongering and gambling together,and they were having a great time. I spoke to the father and told him that I was jealous of his relationship with his son. (They were both single) I said that I wished my father had taken me mongering just once before he passed awayand we would have been much closer. He then asked me if I had taken my son mongering. I quickly responded "THAT'S DIFFERENT"

"ahh a tangled web we weave"... It seems sad that to live happy and fulfilled lives...including sexually...we have to scheme, lie and cover up. If we are honest about ourselves, we become villians and castouts. OR, we can live the rest of our lives pretending to be what we are not. It is always a huge personal decision on how much of ourselves we are going to reveal...even to spouses. I know some couples who come down here with open marriages. While some guys here look at that wryly or strangely...I think that is more honest than what most do here.

WHen it comes to sons...that also is a personal issue. I have had quite open communication with my dad on these matters...but he is more liberal and non judgemental than most stateside folks. It comes down to how much or well you want your son to know you or do you just want to play the roll of Father Cleaver from "Leave It to Beaver"? If you have a solid trusting relationship with your adult son, he can probably discreetly handle the situation...and the openess might cause the best/closest relationship you have in your life. Or you can not risk it...and everyone just go on their merry ways not REALLY knowing each other. Hemingway would bring his son down...Rev Jimmy Swaggert never told his son about HIS mongering until it came out in the papers...

You must have spoken to those people at the meeting of The Bird Watchers Club. Sit and have coffee at the Café of the Gran Hotel Costa Rica and watch the tourist vans & busses stop by for a tour of the National Theater. Check the tourists staying at the Don Carlos, Hemingway Inn even the Presidente. They are TOURISTS not mongers and all spend time in San Jose.

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Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

IMHO, you have way more to lose than to gain. A few days of fun could change your relationships back home forever. Kind of the like the idea that you shouldn't do business with other family members. Same thing should apply with mongering. You shouldn't be mongering with family. They just aren't compatable. JMHO.

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Jagman
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AN EXCELLENT MONGERING EXPERIENCE: Cheap, Good, or Climax - Choose any two.

Run don't walk from your idea.

You are no doubt a very good harted person and want to share with others the splendor you know, but your concept is flawed...Run Away from what you are thinking, IMHO.