www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Saw this list on another site:

Useless facts about Costa Rica

â– In Costa Rica, it is not uncommon to give coffee to Babi*s (in their bottle, with milk) and to young Ch*ldren.

â– MANY Costa Ricans use their credit cards for everything. What so I mean by everything? Well... a newspaper, a candy bar, a pack of gum, etc. I means things as low as just pennies in cost! It is truly bizarre to be in line behind a Tico and watch him whip out his card to make an eighteen cent purchase.

â– MacDonald's, Burger King and all the others have HOME DELIVERY in Costa Rica! This is not a good thing if you are on a diet.

â– Ticos are short statured people in general. Therefore, chairs, couches etc are built about 6-8 inches (sometimes more) lower than furniture say from the USA. If you are tall or overweight, you will find that the act of just getting up is an effort.

â– Cigarettes are only about $1.20 per pack. Another thing to place under the 'not good' category.

â– Naming conventions are very different here. Ch*ldren take their father's name, but add their mother's maiden name to their full name. So when you see a name on a business card like Carlos Jose Gomez Guzman, this persons name is Carlos Gomez and the Guzman is his mom's maiden name. Often this is abbreviated as an initial thus: Carlos Jose Gomez G. or even more commonly, Carlos Gomez G.

Costa Rican women do not take their husband's last name. The woman uses her full maiden name for life. No changing of national ID cards, drivers licenses, etc. She also adds her mother's maiden name.

Rarely now, women WILL use the old Spanish naming convention and add a "de " and her husband's name. Thus, Maria Gomez when she marries Carlos de la Torre, will become Maria Gomez de La Torre.

â– If you should die while here, you are buried here on the same day you die... no embalming... nada. They just plant you! Everyone looks to see your obituary on TV several times per day! (This can occur easily if you buy the cheap cigarettes and have your Big Macs sent to the home!).

â– There are few street signs in Costa Rica and even fewer addresses. Read that as almost none. Just about all addresses are in terms of a well-known building or landmark; often the local Catholic Church, cemetery, or another fixed location. But just to keep things interesting, some addresses are phrased in terms of building that may have burned down 20 years ago! Also, when you see an address that says 200M west of something, that normally means 2 blocks and NOT a true 200 meters. Now is a good time to read about driving in Costa Rica.

â– Diet Pepsi here tastes better than Diet Coke.

â– Instead of saying "my other half", Ticos often refer to their significant other as their "media naranja" or the other half of their orange.

â– Many (honey) bees in Costa Rica are of the Africanized variety i.e. killer bees. The older species were bred out years ago.

■Tangerines are called mandarins (mandarines) here. Limes are limónes. And you can't buy lemons here... or at least I have never seen them. So, if you want a lime, ask for a limón (lee-moan).

â– Candy and cookies manufactured here are to Tico tastes and have a LOT less sugar (and maybe fat) and thus a lot less flavor. If you have a sweet tooth, it can still be satiated as nearly all the popular candy from the US is available. However, if you're a cookie lover, your pretty well outta luck. Not much available except Oreos and a handful of others.

â– Locks (houses, gates, etc.) in Costa Rica almost always work (turn) backwards.

â– We say in English "She had a baby" or She just gave birth", but in Spanish they say, "Ella dio a luz" or translated, "She gave light." Cool huh?

â–  Bienes raices is the word for Real Estate. Bienes means property or possessions and raices means roots. So there you have "property roots!". Gives meaning to the expression "laying down roots".

â– Front doors of almost all commercial establishments almost always open INWARDS. This is against every fire code in the USA, but here, perhaps because they have never had a tragedy in which hundreds died because the door could not be opened outwards, there is no such code. As you have become "programmed" to Pull when entering and Push when leaving, plan to feel silly as you tug or push in the wrong direction.

â– If you go to the immigration office for any reason or to the police station for fingerprinting (as part of your residency), do NOT wear shorts! They will turn you away! Shorts are considered disrespectful.

â– There are Bullfights in Costa Rica, but the bull is never hurt and often, the bull wins!

â– Milk, eggs, and many other items that you have been trained all your life to refrigerate, are available off the shelf (un-refrigerated) at almost every super market. This of course flies in the face of everything you have learned about storing these products, but I have bought them every week for the past four years and I have never been sick, nor has anyone I have ever met. Go figure.

â– The word for HOT, in Spanish, is caliente. Caliente begins with a "C". Water faucets imported from the USA almost all have a "C" on them. If your Hot Water never seems to get HOT in Costa Rica, try the handle with the "C". Note, this may change from bathroom to bathroom within the same house!

â– Ants are everywhere here, and they outnumber us about a zillion to one. You will have two real choices as I see it! Spend about all of your entire life trying to kill them all... or just realize they will be part of your diet while living here! The tiny ones are flavorless, and probably add a tiny bit of protein to the diet. The bigger ones crunch.

■You will see a LOT of folks carrying machetes... those really long, sharp knives. You see this especially in the country and areas away from San José. The machete is the Costa Rican equivalent of Duct Tape. It is used for everything, but almost never as a weapon... so relax

â– Chinese food tastes funny in Costa Rica. Not BAAAAD... just funny! I am also not hungry an hour after I eat Chinese food here.

â– Burger Kings here taste just like Burger Kings in the US. MacDonald's do not. Colonel Sanders are better here.

â– Generally, meat is kinda crummy here. Just not enough fat cows. Thankfully, the Peruvians and the Brazilians have arrived to open restaurants where you can get a good piece of meat.

â– Costa Rica is smart enough NOT to export all the good coffee! This is meaningful if you have ever lived in Idaho and wanted a good baked potato.

■In many countries, pedestrians have rights. Drivers must yield to them or suffer the consequences. In Costa Rica, the Spanish word for pedestrian is "Target". Be real careful when walking around... especially in San José and especially at street corners.

â– At 7 AM every morning, most if not all Costa Rica radio stations broadcast the exact same program. It begins with the Costa Rican National Anthem and provides the government and other authorized entities a way to send messages or information nation wide.

â– The meter in a taxicab is know as the Maria... apparently a loose reference to the Virgin Mary and her presumed honesty.

â– We call them Speed bumps! To Costa Ricans, son muertos... or in English... "(they are) dead persons".

â– I get asked a lot about all the street vendors who wait at the traffic lights to sell you stuff. Everyone wants to know if this is a rip off and if the food will kill you. Well I buy stuff from those folks all the time... mostly because these folks work their butts off trying to make a living.

As for buying food, I know a lot of folks that do. I do not. Just not sure about the cleanliness of the kitchens used to prepare the stuff.

â– Nearly all Catholic Churches in Costa Rica face to the WEST. This is a handy thing to know as if you read #4 above, you know that knowing directions is critical and that many addresses in CR are based on distance and direction from those churches.

■Q. What about all those cute K*ds running around barefoot and begging especially in San José?

A. Many of them (sadly) are put out on the streets to beg by their parents. They are pros at giving you the sad eye thing. Often their shoes are hidden in a nearby bush. Now saying that, some are really desperate. How do you know? You don't. And now you have a problem!

My suggestion is to do nothing, but that is really hard for some folks, so if you just HAVE to do something, here is a suggestion to do ONLY if you are in a very public location with many people around. Offer to take them to get something to eat. NEVER EVER do this when you are in your car or alone. NEVER touch them in any way. NEVER let them get into your car as Costa Ricans seem to think all North Americans are here for sex transactions with Ch*ldren, and it would be really easy to get into serious problems if a Ch*ld gets into your car.

However, if you are walking, and there is a nearby soda (small restaurant), you can ask if they are hungry, then walk with them to the soda. The really hungry K*ds will want to eat. The pros will not. They want money. AGAIN! Do not touch them in any way. Let them order, you pay, then you leave. If they refuse, just walk away and offer nothing.

I am SURE someone will disagree with me on this, and with some justification, but I have a tough time as many of them REALLY look like they could use a meal. Just be real careful! A LOT of them are drug users even at very tender ages. The best and safest thing, sadly, is to do nothing.

â– Q. I see painted designs on some highways and streets. They look like a big gold or yellow heart with a crack in it. Sometimes there are hearts with halos. What are they?
A. Broken hearts. These are painted on the road where someone lost their life. When you approach an intersection or a road that has a bunch of these painted, drive more cautiously.

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Very good post, Paco. So much truth in such a little space. Good job.

_________________
"The only normal people are those you don't know very well." Joe Ancis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAHNXIaN ... r_embedded

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Good stuff

then would not the last name for all the women be the same going back for generations?

there would be no need to add an extra name since it would be the same?


like miss smith, mama smith, grandma smith...etc....?


also, no mention was made about napkins!












Give Idaho back to Britain.

I hate Idaho drivers. I know, I know, everybody has a local horror story about bad drivers, but until you've experienced the lofty heights of ineptitude of an Idaho driver, kindly shut the hell up. I've done a fair amount of driving around the states, and people from Idaho take the cake. If you see some dipshit holding up traffic for miles, there's a good chance that the driver is from Idaho. Just look for the Idaho plate:

Idaho's state colors are: red, white, and boring. I'd go so far as to say that Idaho is the most boring state in the union. Though, I have to admit that I've never been to New Hampshire, where the most interesting thing that state has/had going for it is the formation of a cliff that kind of looked like the face of an old man when viewed from a certain angle. New Hampshire is so boring that they literally put this arbitrary geological formation on their state coin. The "face" finally collapsed in 2003, causing many to be so distressed that they literally cried:

WHERE'S YOUR OLD MAN NOW? New Hampshire's Tourism Industry: 0, Me: 1. To be fair, having a rock that sort of looks like a face as your state symbol is like diving into a tub full of tits when compared to Idaho, where there's so little going on that they proudly proclaim how famous their potatoes are on their license plates. Are you kidding me? Celebrities are famous. Landmarks are famous. The starchy, underground stems of plants that are used for deep frying side dishes are not. Wow, your state vegetable is a tuber. SNORE.

Idaho is possibly the only state in the union that actively makes its residents become shitty drivers because of how uninteresting it is. There aren't any "skyscrapers" in Idaho, so when they get bored, they drive down to Utah to gawk at ours. The only problem is, there aren't any skyscrapers in Utah either. Here's a comparison chart to show the tallest building in Salt Lake City (the largest city in Utah), to some landmarks in real cities:

the temple salt lake city......sears tower chicago....empire state building nyc.....washington monument DC....phone booth idaho

I've pissed higher than the tallest building in Idaho. So you can imagine how bored you'd have to be to go there. If you still aren't convinced that Idaho is the dullest place on earth, here's a list of things to do in Idaho (these come directly from visitidaho.org):

# Visit the 45th parallel: "Just 2.5 miles north of New Meadows on U.S. 95 lies the imaginary line of the 45th Parallel. This sign-posted line marks the spot half-way between the Equator and the North Pole and is a popular photo-stop. A small rest stop offers visitors information about the area." Oooh! The 45th parallel, sounds like seconds of fun. I'd better bring extra film in case one of the rolls don't develop, because otherwise my friends will never believe that I've actually been to the 45th parallel! Pass.

# Moscow Area Agricultural Loop Tour: "Idaho is not only number one in potato growing but produces the most lentils, too. Latah County is referred to as the Dry Pea and Lentil Capital of the World, where peas and beans are grown in the Palouse hills surrounding Moscow. The area is also filled with winter wheat fields. The Moscow Chamber of Commerce provides a detailed visitor's guide for your own driving tour of this productive and picturesque farmland." HOLY SHIT, I LIVE NEXT TO THE DRY PEA AND LENTIL CAPITAL OF THE WORLD? Why didn't anyone tell me??? Here I've been shit-listing Utah for all these years, when I've been living in a state that borders the dry pea and lentil capital of the world. I hereby revoke anything bad I've ever said about Idaho. And by revoke, I mean reaffirm.

# Boise Towne Square Mall: "Idaho's largest mall offers anchor stores Macy's, Dillard's, Mervyns, J. C. Penney, Sears and numerous other shops and restaurants. Other stores located nearby include Toys R Us, Target, Best Buy, Linens n' Things and more. The neighborhood has grown into the largest shopping area in Idaho." Visit such exotic locations as J.C. Penney, Mervyns, Best Buy, and Sears, all for free? Get out. It's almost like the Idaho board of tourism doesn't want tourists. Idaho is the only state where not telling people what there is to see will actually get more people to visit.

Not only is Idaho a ho-hum state, Idahoans (their word, not mine) are gullible. Idaho was named in 1860 by George M. Willing, a mining lobbyist who pulled the name out of his ass (look it up). He picked the name "idaho" and told congress that it was a Shoshone Indian word that meant "Gem of the Mountains." Most westerners in the United States are completely devoid of any cultural heritage, so it has always been popular out here to latch onto American Indian monikers. When people finally caught on that "Idaho" was a made up name, it was too late. The name caught on and the morons who live there have called themselves "Idahoans" ever since.

I propose that we give Idaho back to the British, since that's who we got it from in the first place. I don't think it'll be too much of a problem because there aren't a lot of people in Idaho. According to the 2004 Census report, Idaho's population is 1,393,262. Just for comparison, there are 1,970,000 cows in Idaho. New rule: if your state has more cows than people, you don't get to be a state anymore.


Pictured above: Idaho's busiest airport.......(dessert wasteland photo

The biggest thing to happen to Idaho in years is the movie "Napoleon Dynamite," which was filmed there. This movie was such a big deal that Idaho's state legislature has proposed a resolution to commend the creators of the movie for raising awareness of Idaho. Way to put those tax dollars to use you shit dicks. Bang-up job.

2,748,543 legislators from Idaho are considering a resolution to condemn me for being mean.

maddox@xmission.com



© 2005 by Maddox

_________________
The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

Brother RudeBoy strikes again, if only by proxy...Great post.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

What the hell is great about all that ranting! Remember, when you point a finger at someone, you have three pointing back at you.

C-Dude, why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel about Idaho? But, since Paco brought it up, has anyone else noticed that though CR exports shrimp, I've yet to find any decent shrimp in CR. Also to fill in the blanks a little around Paco's post.

He mentioned that "nearly all Catholic Churches in Costa Rica face to the WEST." Actually, if you think about it, the churches in SJ are ALL on the EAST side of plazas (Catedral Nacional and Parque Central, Iglesia Merced & Soledad, etc. Their front doors open to the west but their altars inside are on the east side and so that is the direction that their parishioners all pray. I'm not sure how universal that rule of thumb is either as I recall hearing or reading someplace that they all actually face towards the Basilica de Nuestra Senora de los Angeles in Cartago, CR's religious capital. I'm not sure if that's true or not but at least it makes for a good story. I haven't been to or seen too many churches in the Eastern part of the country to test it out. Come to think of it the main church in San Isidro is still on the east side of the central park even though it is SE of Cartago. Has anyone else heard this theory or can verify whether it is really true or not?

Thanks for posting this interesting list. I could relate to lots of things mentioned.

As for the Ch*ldren begging in the streets or selling trinkets, I am well aware, that often times, the mother is just around the corner watching. I will always give the Ch*ld a few hundred colones. No matter what the situation, I highly doubt that any of them are living "in the lap of luxury." As mentioned, it is a personal choice whether to help them or not.

And some here wonder why I bake fresh cookies while in town.

Thanks for posting, makes me miss CR!


PURA VIDA!

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Livin' & Lovin' in Key Largo....oh....And the one in The Keys, too!

Makes me miss Idaho

The guy on the left looks awful familiar- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMkLZ4pm ... re=related

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

it's you and circus!......hahahahahahahahaha

_________________
The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

And all this time I thought he was just there to chase women. Most impressive. Makes me feel even more shallow than I thought I was.

Lee

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PS: DO NOT SEND MONEY!

Guys don't forget the lady in the Miss America pageant from Idaho proudly procaliming in their introductory procession..... Miss I-Da-Ho.

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Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)