www.CostaRicaTicas.com

37 DWM that is a "recovered" CR addict

I really don't know which way to go in my life right now.

4 yrs ago I went to CR.

Filled up a passport in 18 months...enough said?

Ruined marriage (2nd) after 3 trips, had the bartender that loved me, all the "real" shit no one talkes about.

So after 25 trips I decided to go back to the "normal" life. Being the good dad, the good son.

2008 was my last trip.

Seem's like a lifetime ago.

I have been involved with a latina since who is not an idiot. She would never let me go back. I understand and respect her.

Problem is, after 2 yrs with her and her 4 K*ds (ya, I know), I am ready, REALLY ready for a trip back to CR.

Here is where the problem lies....

She is rich

Don't judge. I am not a gold digger. She is the reason that I have not returned, not her money.

I have been trying find a way out of this relationship. I really care about her, she has 2 young K*ds who think of me as their dad.

I feel stuck and fked.

I am not the kind of person who likes to hurt people. I told her when we first met "don't fall in love, i'm not as innocent as I look". Tonto gringo asking for issues.

This is my real question...

I have worked my ass off my whole life. I work mucho horas. Own 2 businesses. I can say the dreaded words, will you marry me...and I will never have to work again the rest of my life.

She has told me she wants to marry me, I told her I will never marry again.

Right now I am trying to figure out if it is worth it to secure me financially and give up all puXXy, or leave her and work my ass off the rest my life to travel to CR a couple times per year.

Before you judge... I am 37, my youngest is a Soph in HS, I can coast the rest of my life with out a job. BUT no strange.

Or, I dump, and keep working for another 10-15 years and be self supporting and tell everyone to kiss my fkin ass.

Viva CR, Pura Vida

What do you guys think?

I think those two statements say it all. It looks like you already have made your decision and just hesitate to go through with it so as not to hurt anyone. If you are going to feel trapped and miserable you will be hurting yourself.

Just my opinion, for what it's worth.

Good luck whichever way you go.

I say get out. A lot of the things you say make it sound like you've already made up your mind, you're just looking for some reinforcement. Forget the money, you can always make more. Being happy is worth a lot more than some money. I'd rather be broke and happy, feeling good, then rich and miserable, feeling like I'm trapped in a bad situation.

I guess the question is - what is your priority in life? Do you want companionship and responsibility more than you want freedom? Then stay with what you have. If you want freedom, then leave and enjoy your freedom.

But whatever you do, make it a commitment. Don't make a choice then go around making yourself miserable with regret. Choose a path, commit to it, and live with your decision without regret.

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Man I'm living life like a great white shark swimming with minnows! It's all about panocha, great scotch, fine cigars, loud-ass rock music and speed, speed, speed - plus spending as much time as possible in paradise on earth, Costa Rica!

My friend the only person that can answer that question on whether you should go or stay is you. Ask your self the question what is it that is missing from my life that make me happy or unhappy ?. I know situation like these are very difficult to ascertain a good answer. that's why you are asking us. I don't think any one of us is qualified to give you the correct answer any suggestion of a answer is us trying to be some thing we are not qualified to do. I would say to you if you are happy where you are then I would say start asking her the tough question. how would she feel if there is a third person in the relation. Some women are receptive to thing like you having fun with some one else as long as they are there and they know about it. I think problem start when you try to do it behind their back.. So good luck and I wish you all the best..

JR60

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"THE TRUTH IS' EVERYBODY IS GOING TO HURT YOU. YOU JUST GOTTA FIND THE ONE WORTH SUFFERING FOR"
Robert Nesta Marley

Every one is right in that you have to find the answer in yourself. I would add that you should think about how you want to spend the rest of your life. 37, confirmed Bacheolor. For some reason you turned your back on Mongering before. Is it the way you want to go? It is a lonley life. Or do you like having someone speical in your life. If not this girl then some other. It is just that you walked away from the mongering life. Once. you asked

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Take a walk on the wild side.

marry her

life is about choices. im in your age range. from my side of the fence i say be true to you. another 20 years, at least, will you be in heaven or hell. that is the question. only you know the answer. the problem came from you not setting yourself up properly. you know you. your past and believe it or not at least half of your future. should have told this woman your desires and all she could have done is respect it or reject it. but you gave her the power by not telling her that you would rather have an open relationship. would have saved you alot more trouble my brother. if you ready to give up cr then marry her. if not dont. please make the right choice for it will be a great one.

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the hunger is great!

life is short Costa Rica is cheap

jmho pero happiness>money

but if you had and evil side you could consider marrying her and leaving when you would be entitled to a payoff

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im way deep into nothing special
riding the crest of a wave breaking just west of hollywood

Since you have been to CR 25 times, I am betting on hell.

If you enter into a marriage with someone, both sides should be committed (unless specified otherwise) and giving. If you can't do that, then you should be straight up with her. This has nothing to do with K*ds or money, it has to do with you being honest with yourself and her.

Dean

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my first wingman sent me this, how true

" most of the girls down here, lie as a self defense mechanism and to not have to face the truth, thinking most men couldn't accept them knowing the whole truth. Simpler, they may just want men to think they are as perfect as they want to appear to them, trying to hide what they consider to be the ugly truth about themselves. And I may be reading more into it than is there, but I do believe they consider the basis of the lies to be justified."

Though I was not in as deep as you, I also have faced such a question while in relationship with a well-to-do lady. I gotta say that as much as the riches are enticing along with the lifestyle that goes with it, I -personally- am not about to give-up the variety that this hobby affords me. I wish I were a stronger man and say otherwise, but it just ain't so. It goes beyond the money, however, as I think you recognize.

All I suggest for your situation is that if you're not 100% into the relationship, then don't get married - in my estimation, it will cause more harm than good.

It's strange (and I don't mean to turn the thread a different way), but I still at age 38 somehow like knowing that I can continue to taste-test many different ladies with a minimum of effort while, at the same time, other guys are stuck in a life of monogamous monotony. I love reading this and other boards. I love the window shopping and eventual purchase. I love the lack of commitment. There are the moments of loneliness and meaningless, though, that make me wonder sometime. Each side has its pro's and con's, but until (read: if) I mature or some lady makes me see the world differently, I'll keep on with the P4P scene. Once in a blue moon, weird emotions awaken in me and I think that I can give it a go with a certain someone. But it either never progresses far enough to warrant more than a fleeting thought or I get restless and again feel the urge to have someone else, which nullifies the genuineness of said relationship. I guess this is something for me for me to either accept through alot of soul searching or take up with a shrink.

Thanks to all brothers for your input.

Little embarrassing asking a question on a forum like this, but I relate to you guys ALOT more than anyone in my "normal" life.

I know this is something I have to decide. Like someone stated, I know what I need to do, I just want reinforcement. Kind of weak of me in that aspect. I should grow a set, and cut the ties. Problem is, I really don't enjoy hurting people I care about. Has always been my downfall. Stick it out for all the wrong reasons. I am the first to tell someone to get fked if they do something wrong that effects me or my family, but she has never done one thing wrong. Askes nothing of me but my time. Time is the only thing I can't replace. I am selfish, impatient, and always wanting what I can't/don't have. I believe that is a trait that most mongers have. Instant gratification. That is NOT a knock on ANYONE or the hobby itself. We just know what we want/don't want and know how to get it. We "get it". I made the biggest rookie mistake after my first trip, telling a buddy about it. People can't keep their mouth shut, word gets around, and I am labeled this circus freak for going to cr. We all know most peole just don't have the balls to hop on the plane and live the fantasy most of you are living. There is a whole new world out there that is something you just have to experience to understand. It is the only time in my life that I felt truly happy, at ease, and peaceful. When I touch down in SJO, all problems solved, no worries. I miss it, I think about it everyday (for 2yrs).

Greengo, you know me I don't shit my pants but the first sentence was a lil too close to home

NOT nice!

Yeah Greengo can get to the core of an issue his own special way. You didn't ask for a comment on this but--what's her life gonna be like with you trapped like a bug trapped in amber in it? How much violence psychic or physical has been committed as the end result of these situations when they play out to their eventual end?
As the other Brothers have said, the question begets the answer--Don't do it--regrets are a whole lot better than misery. Try however to stay on good terms with the older ch1ldren.
BTW, this isn't the first "real world" question asked here--all the smartass to the contrary, there is a lot of hard-won accumulated wisdom here, as this Thread demonstrates.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED