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Do we ever get out ???
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=31400		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  Rainman3 [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Do we ever get out ???
There are a lot of posts to be found here that discuss the many perils and pitfalls of getting caught up in a serious relationship with a working girl. We have had countless discussions about the chances of successfully rehabilitating them and converting them from HDR puta to respectable wives and mothers
and for the most part it seems to me that the majority opinion is that you are wasting your time and setting yourself up for a big downfall.

What I am wondering about is does anyone know about the pitfalls faced when a good woman finds herself in a serious relationship with a monger type of guy. For the exercise today let's say our guy is not just someone who has dabbled just a little in the mongering sub culture but an experienced and
seasoned vet ! Someone who has not only spent time in CR but has visited a good portion of South America. Does a guy who has experienced Medellin, the Dominican Republic and the sheer wanton sexuality of the termas girls in Rio ever just up and decide one day that it is time to get out and return to a more regular, monogamous relationship ?

I know that we have our brothers who have settled down a little and I absolutely mean no disrepect to them. But Im talking about someone who has left the mongering game lock, stock and barrel
completely. This is something I wonder about a lot ! For me traveling and mongering did wonders for me and enabled me to get my balls back after 2 failed marriages. And although last year I came very, very close to another marriage with a sweet, total non pro Paisa it was the doubts I had in my head about really being able to commit to one woman only that led to me making the decision to send my sweet Paisa back to Colombia in order to keep myself free to travel and party.

I worry that the longer I am doing this the less likely I am to ever experience a type of relationship like my parents enjoy.

Now I know that some will say that if I do things right I can have both. You know the relationship with the freedom to travel and be with other women. Well I am happy that a few of you have found this perfect, open relationship and I wish you the best of luck with it. However for myself and I think several others also, while we have no scruples with our mongering now while we are single, I don't think our minds we be so at ease if we were doing this while married.

So there it is !

Anybody know an experienced monger who decided to “leave this all behind” ?

Did it work out for him ? Are they still together ? What sparked him to change ?

8) 8) 8)
Author:  Thirdworld [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting topic Rainman. Look forward to hearing some results. I'm not a prude but don't see myself doing both. If I settle down I won't go to hookers. Not judging but I really can't wrap my head around these "relationships" that still basically exist in the p4p world. I guess I'm basically either/ or. And I will never discuss an actual relationship on a forum. Actually, I have more respect for whoever I'm involved with for that.
Author:  Cujo's [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've always wanted to be with a girl that made me not look around.

To me, this is something you have to have happen to you. It can't be a conscious effort to not look around, but rather you have no interest at all because who your with is all you want.

Men are as faithful as their options..

That said, if you have many options or women in general find you attractive and flirt with you often; it will take the sort of feeling described above to keep you straight.

Lastly, I think marriage should really be on the back burner regardless. I mean, most of us have made that mistake, so what's the rush to do it again?


Cujo
Author:  Miles Finch [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
i have this duality ...

1) i love mongering, its a great thing

2) i'd give it up in a second if i were to find a great girl.

however, my track record speaks for itself. i found the "perfect girl" a few times and wound-up mongering still. call this my Achilles heal. couldn't remain in the relationships as a result and called things off - why mislead her under falseness?

and, no, i don't personally know any mongers who's gone legit.

but that doesn't mean we're all to have the same fate.
Author:  Dapanz1 [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've always said that I am a serial monogomist. I have no problem staying faithful for extended periods of time. This can last for as short as a few months to a few years. But, then I find myself bored and my mind starts to wonder off and I get the itch to play around. Actually, I look at it from a little bit of a spiritual viewpoint..odd as this may sound. Seems once I get comfortable in a relationship and believe that this "could be the one," some greater power presents a temptation. These temptations seem to come out of nowhere. Sometimes the temptations are easy to dismiss and other times impossible. So, usually in the end, I give in to temptation. This "temptress" might be someone I stay with for a short time, say a month. Or it could be someone I spend a few years with. My ex wife was the "temptress" and took me away from someone I had spent the previous 8 years with. The marriage lasted for the same amount of time. BTW, I believe in the 7 year itch. Seems pretty accurate.

Like you Rainman, I have mongered in several locales. Currently, I am involved with a complete non pro from Barranquilla, Colombia. She was the "temptress" that took me away from someone else. A bigger, better deal? In some ways yes. Better looking than the previous, higher education. A worse deal? In some ways, yes. Too independent, demanding and (as perceived by me) less trustworthy than the previous. Was it a fair trade? That is up to the individual. The relationship with the Colombiana is closing in on a year. So, where am I at today? I'm getting that urge again. The urge to go somewhere else. I don't know why exactly. I guess it goes back to old saying, "Find me a guy with a hot wife and I'll show you a guy who is sick of her sh*t." Or as Molly Hatchett (an obscure band of the early 80's) would say, "One mans loss is another mans gain, one mans pleasure is another mans pain."

I don't know if a confirmed monger can ever PERMANENTLY go in to a long term committed relationship. I have searched for the Holy Grail myself. A woman who will sweep ME off my feet and make me want for nothing. When I got in to the relationship with the Colombiana I told her, "Yo quiero que yo quiero, nada menos." Basically meaning that "I want what I want and nothing less." This was going to be the one. She had everything I thought I wanted. But, here I am contemplating a trip to Ecuador or Panama. I think for some guys it's just in our blood. Just like we mongers say about the putas. Once they cross the line, they have no hope of ever having a real relationship. Maybe once we cross that line of P4P, we can no longer have real relationships. Yeah, for a while maybe. But forever? Forever is a mighty long time. I'll be interested to hear other responses as well. For now, I guess I remain a serial monogomist.

dapanz1
Author:  Thirdworld [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's easy for me to be faithful. :D More so because I'm lazy than a great guy. If I'm getting steady pu*sy, there just isn't a reason for me to go to the trouble. I could easily settle down with the right chica. I've declined in the past because I just didn't see us being compatable lifestyle wise. Best of both worlds would be to nail down a bi female. Had the chance, but it just didn't work out.
Author:  Xman00 [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 3:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Does it not take 2 persons to make this type commitment relationship. She may be the one for me, but if she is not viewing me the same way sooner or later there will be a problem. The only difference between myself and some one else, I would know that I had options at that point and not stick around as long .as a less informed man. If she has her eyes open for change during the relationship I doubt I would fight as much against the change knowing what I know now.

Could myself and others move away from this life , YES, but it take 2 persons of equal commitment .. Other wise a guy will need a lots of extra money to pay for the attorneys in few years
Author:  DiegoC [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
From downtown Los Angeles, take Interstate 5 southbound toward Anaheim, get off at Harbor Boulevard, turn right and proceed to the first street where you again turn right. There you are in Disneyland.

Getting into a serious relationship with a working girl will bring you nothing but grief and loss, both personal and financial. It is just a matter of time. That is not cynicism, it is realism.

Remember this is all fantasy, pretend, not real, just like Disneyland.
Author:  Jazz Musician [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm very happy having married a brasileira who loves me. She's independent (goes to Brazil solo for a month when she wants), is willing to do what it takes to be together for the long-term, and accepts my imperfections. She knows I don't see a tenth of the girls I saw before her, but also knows I recently needed a long weekend in Colombia while she was traveling in Brazil. She knows when she's here with me, it's all about her. She has seen the lengths I've gone for her, and doesn't confuse a meaningful relationship with sport phucking. Does she like sport phucking? Hell no. Does she wish guys didn't like adventures? Hell yes.

If you take your time and find the right non-working-girl Latina, a girl who has paid her bills working a real job, has lots of friends, a good family, you'll be all right. Latinas are not scared off by you being safado because they grew up with it. They'll try to ease you out of mongering without capital punishment. And while your desire to monger will never go away, it will diminish. A good woman, confident, with a good heart and honest, will not need to make big drama around this. Because she will know she's got you in a way all the others don't, and I don't mean materially - although that way, too. You have to be there for her always - because she's going to be there for you when you're in a wheel chair with MS. The putas won't, but she will - IF....she knows you love her completely and never want to live without her. You have to demonstrate that every day.

If you have a gringa whose whole deal is about being faithful - like that's the one true test - forget it. Too shallow, too ridiculous. And not realistic. But a Latina? That can be a whole, different experience. They like fidelity too, but get the guy to want it - not as a rule or regulation. Imagine a fat gringa with cellulite, insisting on fidelity because that's the rule? That is not how Latinas approach it.

Trust me on that one...
Author:  Dean [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Right now, I don't see myself doing it (100%). But, I do want to have a K*D and that does require a commited relationship (or a girlfriend, bottle of wine and no condoms). Jazz, you have it very good, an understanding woman and it sounds like you respect her by just having that fling and getting back to your relationship. I could see something like that but 100% monogamous, don't know. I have thought about this topic before always thinking that I most likely have tainted myself within this lifestyle (although, no real worries here :D ). Since we all are different, maybe mongering wears off on some guys. I can see that happening. Just not right now for me, esp five days before I head to CR.

Dean
Author:  JazzboCR [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:50 am ]
Post subject: 
From the outsider's perspective--Brother Jazz Musician just nailed it especially his bolded words. Remember, he's been exposed as a working musician to an order of magnitude more opportunities and observational insights than most of us.
And Brother Dean--please refer to him as as Mr. Jazz--wouldn't want a man of serious accomplishment to get confused with this muddler, this dabbler.
Come to that though--Higgamous hoggamous, women are monagamous/ Hoggamous higgamous, men are polygamous. A smart-ass self-justifying jape? Maybe. But then maybe it's a hard-wired truth as well.
Author:  GoodToGo [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Greg wrote:

Quote:
What sparked him to change ?


"Fairy tales can come true,
It can happen to you,
When you're young at heart."

Greg,

What happened? Did you drop the bottle?

Go buy another one! You'll feel better in the morning.
Author:  BlueDevil [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:53 am ]
Post subject:  A Monger for Life?
I rarely post anything resembling "metaphysical" :? on CRT anymore, but I will give it my best shot.

I guess I am one of the guys who "has settled down a little bit"... as RM3 puts it. My appetite for being in the middle of monger heaven/party central all the time started waning about 3 years ago. I began to limit my activity in the gulch to a handful of favoritas rather than bouncing back and forth between SL, HDR, KL & the MPs like so many of us do. I was becoming jaded with my trips to CR, and decided to explore other destinations (Colombia, the DR, Europe). The change of scenery felt good.

Around that time, I also browsed a couple of latina dating sites with the thought of trading my basic p4p mongering schtick for the company of a few discreet mistresses throughout CA/SA. Little did I know, things would be changing for me very soon. I became acquainted with a number of outstanding women through these sites... including two wonderful, down-to-earth ticas. I was happy spending time with them, but was intrigued by the Colombianas I had met on-line... I needed to move on. During my first Colombian trip, I hooked up with all four of my Colombiana sweethearts and dedicated some quality time for each of them. They were all attractive, classy and sincere. But it was the paisita in Medellin who caught me off guard and ruined my plans. :wink:

After reading this thread earlier in the afternoon, I decided I would return and try posting... but was a little unsure of what I should write. After reading the following post, I realized I wanted to say the same things...but would never be able to do it as eloquently:

Jazz Musician partially wrote:

Quote:
If you take your time and find the right non-working-girl Latina, a girl who has paid her bills working a real job, has lots of friends, a good family, you'll be all right. Latinas are not scared off by you being safado because they grew up with it. They'll try to ease you out of mongering without capital punishment. And while your desire to monger will never go away, it will diminish. A good woman, confident, with a good heart and honest, will not need to make big drama around this. Because she will know she's got you in a way all the others don't, and I don't mean materially - although that way, too. You have to be there for her always - because she's going to be there for you when you're in a wheel chair with MS. The putas won't, but she will - IF....she knows you love her completely and never want to live without her. You have to demonstrate that every day.


Some of you already know my novia, LA, in Medellin. We're not quite at the stage that Jazz is with his wife, but aspiring rather steadily. :wink: When I first met her, I felt something different and special. I returned to MDE two months later to make sure the "chemistry" wasn't only a "lustful reaction" getting the best of me. After the second trip, I knew I had found a keeper...sexy, educated, passionate and independent with no baggage (eg k*ds). She's only 10 years my junior, so I don't get any funny looks when she accompanies me to Parque Lleras. :lol: I am about to enter retirement, and plan on spending it with her in Colombia. Much of what Jazz describes about his relationship, I sense in ours. It's been "muy contento", no drama and no stress ever since LA and I first met two years ago.

Back on topic:
I leveled with my novia almost from the beginning, when it became evident that we were entering into a long-term relationship. My reasoning was, the worst that could happen to me is she would cut me loose. It might sting, but I would survive. I told her that I may occasionally experience a "lapse of morals" and enjoy the company of another woman, but in no way would this diminish my feelings towards her. LA giggled, and said she understands that because this type of behavior is the most well-known secret of Colombian society. She added, somewhat more solemnly: "Remember, no matter what happens, at the end of the the day, your heart belongs to me." I nodded and said, "OK, I can live with that, too." I am very lucky to have met LA, and the last thing I want to do is cause her hurt or embarrassment.

We revisit this topic ever so often. At times, I think it provides her with a source of mild amusement, but she swears my happiness is paramount to her. Even though I am somewhat cynical, I do believe her. My urge to "play" is nowhere near the level it was 4 or 5 years ago, but is still there. I'm not sure whether it's due to the vestiges of an adolescent trying to prove himself or the simple fact that I like chicas. My novia believes it is the latter... I am inclined to agree with her. :wink:
Author:  Rainman3 [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
BD,

Im glad that you decided to post and you are right you have one great
and special lady in your Pasita. I look forward to seeing the both of you
over Navidad.

solo un poquito mas tiempo amigo :)

8) 8) 8)
Author:  Thirdworld [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, I'm gonna bring up the 800 pound gorilla that I have considered but never mentioned in the years I've been on this board. Do you think there is a lot of sex addiction involved with this "hobby". I consider myself a healthy, virile 45 year old. I use a little V for an extra kick every once in a while but I consider myself pretty good in the sack, able to satisfy a chica. Having said this, when I am with someone who I am attracted to, AND is very pleasing in bed, I don't really have the need to look around. And I'm not big on having novias, just talking about whoever I'm with at the time. Also, the numbers reported. I'm not disputing them but am skeptical of why. Guy comes down for 5 days and has 18 sessions. Maybe my dick is different, but after 5 or 6 nuts in a couple of days, I'm not even getting that much out of it anymore. Hard yes, but just pumping on. I think it is like the bird watchers down here. They just have a list of birds and are more interested in ticking off as many birds on their lists as possible, as opposed to enjoying the birds they are seeing. Just a thought, I have no conclusions.
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