www.CostaRicaTicas.com

after reading six pages of the "chica invitations" thread, I am, as always, amazed at how cynical some of the guys are.

I've received dozens, if not hundreds, of RFMs from chicas in san jose. And I've sent money to several. And only once have I felt like I was burned on the deal.

Most of the girls to whom I've sent money have paid me back faithfully, either in cash or services, when I saw them again.

No, I don't routinely send money to just any chica who thinks I'm a soft touch. But I've become really close with five or six ladies there, most of whom really are supporting sick mothers, special-needs K*ds, large families, etc., and who need a little help now and then.

There are the occasional gals who get good-paying clients every day or have a special gringo sugar daddy who supports them from afar. But most of these gals often go days without clients, or only getting cheapskate clients who haggle them down to a desperation price.

When I first started going to CR for women (I went there for 25 years only for fishing and tourist stuff before discovering the pleasures of el centro.), I was one of those guys who haggled 'em down and felt studly if I could get a chica for 20 bucks less than you did.

But after I started making friends and getting to know some of these gals, going to their houses for meals and parties, taking day-trips with them to the beaches or just out to new bars and restaurants, to movies, etc., I changed my point of view.

I look at many of these girls much like I look at the people I do business with here at home. I'm buying their services, and if they provide good service and sometimes throw in a little langniape to boot, I pay them well and add a little propina as a reward for doing a good job.

If I've got a few extra bucks in my pocket at home, I don't think twice about buying drinks or dinner for my friends here. And when I'm in CR, I don't hesitate to take the girls out to eat or even to buy a meal or two for some of the SL regulars who aren't having a good week and don't have money for lunch or dinner.

No, I'm not a perro grande (big dog) as some of the girls describe the gringos who like to throw money around to impress everyone,
but I've found that being friendly and just a little bit generous has reallly made my vacations in CR more enjoyable.
The girls take my laundry home and do it for me. They bring me gifts. They've cut my hair, cooked me food, burned CDs for me, etc.

My point is that, while there are those girls who view us as walking ATMs and really don't like us all that much, there are also many with whom you can enjoy a good friendship as well as great sex, and who aren't really trying to con you if they ask for a little help at times.

So an RFM isn't always an automatic red flag. Nor does it always mean that the girl asking is a worthless puta. Hell, they're just people who are working a usually-shitty job and trying to make a living.


[/i]

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Don't call 'em hookers. I tell my wife I'm here dealing with holesalers.

That's great, if that works for you more power to you. But I sense a little disapproval directed at those of us that prefer a totally professional relationship with these providers.

My reasoning is simple IMHO; the majority of these gals will try to take advantage if you, I or any other monger offers extras, like a free meal, drinks, night on the town, whatever. I have had it happen to me more times than not (Yeah, maybe its me) Therefore, I prefer not to go down that route with a working girl.
I treat them as I would any other professional providing a service; treat me good and I will treat you good, do me a diservice and don't count on any return business.

I will however, date regular non-pros in Latin America and I treat them just like I would a women I date in the states. You take your route and I will stick to mine, fair enough?

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“Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” And we are the guys that keep them in Eggs & Grits

Quick! Mongeral needs to be drummed out of the CRT corps immediately! Rip off his chevrons, rank insignia, and break his sword in half!

How DARE you question the credo of the real monger: "TREAT 'EM LIKE MEAT!"



All kidding aside - that was a great post. I congratulate you for doing your thing without letting groupthink govern your behavior.

As for "sensing a little disapproval" -- it's called tit for tat, brothers. Go read through that thread and see how much disapproval gets directed at mongers that don't follow the party line. Having said that, brother TB is right -- you do your thing, and I'll do mine.

mh

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mh

Group hug time! Girls that need to ask for money do so for a reason!

I have wasted money on a lot worse things than a chica RFM. I know a couple of girls I help from time to time . The rewards have always outweighed the money given.

Personally, when I hear "Don't send money" I think of some random chica that you meet and bang on a Friday and she sends us an RFM on Monday morning saying her mother got a rare (but always treatable ) disease that will cost $300 to cure.

I have no problem with helping chicas you have known for a while. If you know that she will "pay you back" in somw way, why not then. And if you don't expect anything in return, that's pretty cool. Helping doesn't always necessarily mark you as a easy target.

Mongereal, give you kudos and the Cojones award for posting this thread. I think that you will catch quite a bit of flak for it. So put on your fire-retardant shorts.

Now for the other side, I do agree most of it with TimBones but you do bring some points that raise some issues. We are not cynical, at least not from my end. But I have been around long enough to know that unless I can verify the information given to me from a chica, it does not count. It is just noise.

You said that you help your distress chicas with family problems. I will assume that you have verified that information, in all the cases. Maybe money is irrelevant to you. I have to work for mine, might a fact still paying some grad school loans so I can make the money that I make. But, if you have verified the information then more kudos to you.

But you combine in your thread having a good time in CR, aka buying chicas drinks and meals, with RFM’s. Which in my understating are two different things. To me the definition of a RFM has always been a “request for money” for a service that they have not deliver. At the same time you mention that they paid you back on services for the RFM. My question is how you will know if you have gotten the same service without giving that RFM?

From other post you said that you are not a fluent Spanish speaker so you do assume quite a bit or accept at face value what the chica will tell you and be able to understand from everything that she has told you. It is a big leap of faith at least for me and not ready to make it any time soon.

But the part that really is off base is “So an RFM isn't always an automatic red flag. Nor does it always mean that the girl asking is a worthless puta. Hell, they're just people who are working a usually-shitty job and trying to make a living.” And I agree with you. What make you think anybody arguing against RFM thinks differently?

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Hit them fast, Hit them hard and NEXT!
A good chica is like a good carpenter - No wood gets wasted!!!

Not knocking anybody's charity. Just don't understand the need for turning p4p into social work. to each his own, but i've always wanted fantasy, something that I probably wouldn't sleep with on my own. In the first place, chicas that NEED rfm's are not very attactive. Otherwise, they can go out and make almost any bill in an afternoon. Not flaming, it is just the last thing in the world I could imagine. Getting all involved with subpar chicas with problems. Plenty of that back in the good old USA. Also, down here. If you are looking for affection, rather than sex, there are lots of 30 somethings, with K*ds if you want, who make excellent wives, girlfriends and whatever. I guess everyone has their own games in their head when approaching the chica situation down here.

whatever works for you.This thread and the invitations thread are both matters of personal preference and everyones opinions/methods should be respected.I know thats asking a lot from some members who believe there way is the only way.

Nicely put, Mongreal and I agree with your point. Many other good thoughts in this thread, too.

I think part of the reason for the disparity of viewpoints is the difference of perspective. If someone is visiting here for the first time or for a few times a year, short duration trips, it is easy to feel that the girls are here to try to scam you out of as much money as possible.

In fact, there are girls who prey on the unwary or overly horny. That does not mean that all or even most of the girls are scam artists.

When people have been coming here for some time or for extended trips, they learn to distinguish the scammers from the regular "working girls". There is nothing wrong with being generous with your friends or with having friends who happen to be working girls.

With that said, there is everything wrong with befriending any and every girl who shows interest and bats her eyes when you look her way. It just takes time and exposure to be able to quickly tell the difference and even then, sometimes we are wrong.

My only advice would be never give more than you are comfortable with and to give gifts without expecting anything in return. If she returns the generosity, great! If not, move on without a lot of loss.

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"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Do what makes you happy, and Phuck what anyone else thinks. Isn't that the philosophy that motivates most of us to monger in the first place? Why make it complicated by adding a bunch of silly rules? (okay, the "no cien" rule is an important exception for a number of reasons.) For me, the RFM is the quickest way a chica can ensure she will never hear from me again. But that's me. It makes me happy to know I am capable of tossing a beautiful woman aside for such a minor infraction. But if it makes you happy to oblige on occasion, more power to you, brother.

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One-eyed and peg-legged is how I like 'em, ARRRRR!

Some outsider comments (but not on the main 2 viewpoints--I'm not competent):
(1) Brother Mongeral used the word "lagniappe" which is a Cajun word meaning, in its best sense, an unexpected or indirect benefit--a beautiful thing that's much too rare in our "I give/ I get in an exact 1:1 ratio" culture.
(2) Brother Pac55 mentioned perspective--I'd add proportion and/or context to the mix, or may be reading a situation and your comfortability with it. Brother Mongeral mentioned getting burned a few times--I'm guessing he shrugged his shoulders, learned from his alleged mistakes but did not get hardened or calloused by them--"Better 1 guilty man go free than 99 innocent suffer".
(3) Greengo highlighted Kiva.com, a peer-to-peer microlending organization with a 98.5% repayment record. Another is The Grameen Bank, a Bengladeshi bank that also deals in microlending. It's been in existence for over 30 years and has an excellent track record of helping budding entrepreneurs worldwide achieve self-sustainability. They are a strictly NGO outfit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grameen_Bank
Perhaps if more Chicas knew about such outfits and were more resolute, there'd be fewer RFM's from both the needy and the greedy. Also hasn't Brother Prolijo talked about a CR organization that helps Chicas get out and stay out of The Life (relax, lads, there'll still be plenty left at a good price.)?

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

Cool word, isn't it? In certain latin american countries -- specifically the Dominican Republic, but I've also heard it used in Puerto Rico -- that word has entered the lexicon as "la ñapa", which is what you tell a vendor when you want "a little extra something" on that purchase you you just made -- and many times they'll oblige without you even asking.

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mh

Well, I expected a little flak, but that's OK. We each have our own ways to enjoy the pleasures of San Jose.

I like to have a few girls who act like novias when I'm in town, so I treat 'em right, even if that means paying a little in advance once in a while.

That said, I would also echo the advice I saw Pacifica55 post recently, which was "Never Pay Up Front!" That's a good policy.

But the girls I've paid ahead of time by sending them something from home have all been girls I've known for a while and trust.

I'll probably get burned eventually, but, hell, I'm overdue.

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Don't call 'em hookers. I tell my wife I'm here dealing with holesalers.

I have a hypothetical situation and I would be interested in the responses. Let's say you have a girl you visit everytime you are in CR, not a novia, but one of a few favoritas. The time together is well spent, let's say a 4 hours at a time, you are always satisfied, you typically give $100 total. You go down on your next trip and her friend says she is in the hospital. You go and visit, and it is true. She hasn't RFM'ed you in the past.

Do you give her a $100 when you see her in the hospital so it can help out her family? You are obviously not sessioning.

Dean

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my first wingman sent me this, how true

" most of the girls down here, lie as a self defense mechanism and to not have to face the truth, thinking most men couldn't accept them knowing the whole truth. Simpler, they may just want men to think they are as perfect as they want to appear to them, trying to hide what they consider to be the ugly truth about themselves. And I may be reading more into it than is there, but I do believe they consider the basis of the lies to be justified."