Yes, the news is dire in gulchland these days. Seems like hardly a day goes by when we aren't deluged with new tales of chica woe, as we mongers - reeling from the economy and our past over indulgences - stay away in droves. Under these conditions, certainly there's no way the "cien por una hora, chupa con condom, no besos" thing is going to fly...
But I'm here to help. To all our treasured chica readers of the board, I hereby propose a way to maintain your cherished cien. I call it the "Base Price Plus Incentives Program". Here's how it works...
You propose your typical cien as outlined above. I counter with my base price of $20. Then I offer the following incentives:
Besos con lengua - add $10
Chupa sin condom - add $10 more (now we're up to the "pull the trigger" level at least - if we didn't get this far then no payday for you)
Leche en boca - add another $10 (up to $50 now - about what it would cost for the same level of service in Medellin or Sosua)
Dos leches - usually we'll want to take a break after the first one, so for the extra time, we'll throw in another $20 here...
Video & pics - now we're talking! Certainly we would want to memorialize such a memorable occasion for posterity, so we'll throw in another $20 here.
For the last $10, it will require something special. We'll give you an option - sexo en culo (con condom), sexo sin condom, or either of the above plus TLN. Now we're up to Rio service levels for the same cash outlay...
Congratulations - cien lives!
Oh, and by the way - if you want to earn a repeat booking, throwing in a little salad tossing never hurts...
