www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Ok, I'm easily amused...

Stripper Putting Herself Through Life

JUPITER, FL—N*na Meyer, a young, strong-willed exotic dancer at the Klassy Dolls Gentleman's Club, informed patrons Monday that she only plans to perform nude for as long as it takes to get through the remainder of her existence on earth.

"Look, I'm not gonna be a stripper forever," Meyer said while administering one more in an endless series of lapdances. "You better believe I'll be out of here the minute I either die or become so old that no man will pay to see me naked."

"I've got dreams a lot bigger than this dump," Meyer continued. "I'm only doing this because there's no way I'll ever come close to achieving those dreams."

Meyer, 24, accepted her current position three months ago to "pick up a little extra cash" for food, clothing, and shelter. She told reporters that stripping allows her the freedom to barely chip away at her enormous debt while still being able to save absolutely nothing for the future.

"The hours are flexible, and the money's pretty good for a girl trying to pay for the basic necessities required to continue breathing," Meyer said. "Trust me, I know better than anyone how demeaning this job can be, but I also know it's just a means to an end."

"Specifically, the end of my fleeting youth and my ability to trust anyone ever again," Meyer added.

Though Meyer has to contend with constant harassment from her disgusting boss, and borderline sexual assault from drunken or obsessed patrons, she remains certain that, due to the nature of mortality, she'll eventually be able to put her stripping days behind her.

"Can you imagine how gross it would be to tell someone that you're a 40-year-old stripper?" Meyer said. "There's no way I'll let that happen to me. That's why I plan to start lying as I get older and say that I'm a waitress or a nurse or something."

In addition to putting herself through a bleak and hopeless existence by cheapening herself nightly, Meyer is also supporting her abusive, unemployed boyfriend, 34-year-old James Keller.

Meyer claimed that much of her money, as well as all of her remaining faith in humanity, will go to Keller just until he gets back on his feet and runs off with another stripper, most likely one of Meyer's close friends.

"I'm just helping Jimmy out until he gets me pregnant and takes off to go live with his mom in Oklahoma," Meyer said. "After we get over that hump, it'll just be me and his bastard K*D, who will destroy both any chance I ever had of dating a decent guy, as well as our only source of income: my taut, lean body."

Those who frequent Klassy Dolls have reportedly offered their support for Meyer's life plan. Bo Lewiston, 42, a twice-divorced auto-body shop owner who frequently breaks the nightclub's rules by forcing his hands into Meyer's G-string, said he has no doubt that the beautiful 24-year-old will attain the minimal subsistence-oriented goals she has laid out for herself.

"N*na is a wonderful gal with a great head on her shoulders," Lewiston said while leering dangerously at Meyer. "Hell, if she tries hard enough and develops a meth habit, she could fatally overdose and be out of Klassy Dolls in just a few months."

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"All them women gonna make me,
teach 'em what they don't know how..." TMIB

This should be in Smack Talk, because it's obviously not real. Nobody is that dumb.

You are correct, but there were some great comments in the 'article' that really ring true whether in the U.S. or in Costa Rica:


"She told reporters that stripping allows her the freedom to barely chip away at her enormous debt while still being able to save absolutely nothing for the future."


Meyer said. "Trust me, I know better than anyone how demeaning this job can be, but I also know it's just a means to an end. Specifically, the end of my fleeting youth and my ability to trust anyone ever again."


Meyer is also supporting her abusive, unemployed boyfriend, 34-year-old James Keller. Meyer claimed that much of her money, as well as all of her remaining faith in humanity, will go to Keller just until he gets back on his feet and runs off with another stripper, most likely one of Meyer's close friends.

_________________
"All them women gonna make me,
teach 'em what they don't know how..." TMIB

orange-Dont underestimate people.They really could be that dumb.

Too cleverly written to be "that stupid".

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My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming...." MAN....WHAT A RIDE!!!!"

This is the link from "America's Finest News Source"

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/st ... =a-section

I guess the writers have either met a few strippers/putas or at least read about them on places like CRT because the 'article' hits a lot of correct notes. And it's pretty funny too.

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"All them women gonna make me,
teach 'em what they don't know how..." TMIB

Being the quirky guy I am, I'd trust The Onion to get to essential truths before I'd trust the other media, including my much-quoted fave, The New[/i[i]] York Times. They only give you facts and (sometimes well-disguised ) opininions. This "article" is an excellent example. Brother Greengo goes mainstream, you might say (and then again, you might not).

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED