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| HELP: What to do when the Novia gets jealous and possessive https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2080 |
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| Author: | Astroglide [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | HELP: What to do when the Novia gets jealous and possessive |
I am asking for a little advice from the more experienced mongers out there. If you have read my reports, you know that I turned this little 18 year old Dominican hottie from aloof and ambivalent into my novia on my last two trips. Now I am getting ready to go down again, and she is getting jealous and possessive. It is really my fault. I have called her almost daily. We talk about lots of stuff, completely in spanish, for about 15 minutes a day. My spanish has greatly improved, but there is no question she thinks of me as her novio now. Today, she asked me why I do not stay at the Del Rey, instead of the Presidente. She likes the Del Rey because it's easier for her to just go up stairs. I explained the extra costs. If I take three chicas up in one night, it costs me $30 bucks more per night. She hit the roof! No WAY would I be doing that again. I have ONE chica now...and that is Cristal. NO MAS CHICAS. I thought it was kinda cute, and I agreed. But my problem is this: As much as I dig this one, and I really do, I still have "needs." When in CR how can I just stop screwing chicas and just stick with one? Now Cristal is awesome, but I am usued to doing 3, 4, 5, or more chicas a day. I am just afraid I will be bored silly with just one. I have loved this novia thing, but am I ready to settle for just one? So, maybe there is an easy way out of this. I await your awesome advice, my fellow hobbyists. What is a horn dog to do? |
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| Author: | PacoLoco [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
You poor bastard. |
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| Author: | Papa Nut [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:12 pm ] |
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Go Tico! Papa Nut |
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| Author: | Prolijo [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:26 pm ] |
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Is this question what I would do or what you would? Brother, you need to just admit you are pussywhipped. Why do you feel you need to explain anything to her. A) She's a hooker (let's face it) and she is seeing even more other partners than you could even attempt. Yes, she does it for pay while you do it for sex. So what! It doesn't really matter why. The facts remain the same. B) If she can't understand A then why bother trying to explain it to her. C) If you let her get away with this double standard, you will never be able to keep her from walking all over you. D) You tried to leave this sort of thing behind in the US, so why do you go after the GFE as opposed to the GFFE? If you're really novio y novia, why is she still seeing others and why are you letting her? Its supposed to be an enjoyable FANTASY. Maintain the illusion while you are together and do what you want when you are apart. E) There are many advantages to pursuing chicas over gringas (less bitchiness, more sensuality and you'd never be dating a hot 18 year old) but there are also some trade-offs. Latin women in general can often get extremely jealous. Teenagers can act very immature. And women that work as hookers can get very flaky or otherwise affected by their work. Accept it, deal with it or go home. F)In the latin culture men are expected to be dogs. You can cheat, but if you don't want to (or are unable to) deal with her jealousy, just don't let her catch you. Its all part of the game down there. What I would do if I were you boils down to 2 options. You could act like a tico and tell her to get over it. But hopefully you'll do it in a nicer way. Tell her as long as she is doing others so will you. I strongly doubt she is so smitten with you that would give up her work. This option might piss her off and diminishing the GFE quality of your relationship as she realizes her acting the novia is not going to insure her getting all of your business. On the other hand, once she realizes she doesn't have you wrapped around her little finger she might also work that mucher harder to try and get you back under her thumb. The second option is not as honest or as courageous, but it is the path of least resistance. Just pay lip service to her complaints and sneak around. Since she is at the BM every night, that will make it virtually impossible for you to do any hunting there. But there are still the MP's during the day and and at night places like IDEM, Casablanca, possibly KL and the hunt for semi and non-pros virtually everywhere else. Tell her you're coming in a day or two after you really are and leaving a day a day or two before and use that time wisely. Actually, this is not just a latin thing. If anything this phenomenom seems to be even more prevalent in many asian countries. There are many factors at play, but one of the unique ones over there is the concept of saving face. If you are going to play the field, at least don't do it in the bar where your regular works. If you come in once and go with a girl it is okay. If you come back and go with a different girl, you are seen as a "butterfly" (a sex tourist term for one that likes to flit from flower to flower). But if you come back and go with the same girl, you become marked as one of her regulars. If you then come back again and see someone different you embarass the girl in front of her peers that she can not keep you as regular. It makes no sense but thats how it works. |
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| Author: | PacoLoco [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
You poor pussywhipped bastard. |
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| Author: | Pidd [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:45 pm ] |
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Astro...Mi Amigo... are you serious ? Unless you're planning on gettin married, having little Astro's and supporting every one of her relatives within 50 kilometers,... ... tell her your times together are very special and your special relationship can not be shared with anyone else, even though both of you will be spend time with others, no one else could ever replace you or her.... If that doesn't work..... NEXT..!!  Peace brother... PIDD |
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| Author: | Dapanz1 [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 11:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Novia jealousy |
What could be worse than being cockblocked in CR? I'd rather have a cattle prod up my a*s. I've had the similar problem before. When I was down in November I spent lots of time with my Tica novia. I couldn't have been more miserable. The world is available to me and I'm playin' bi*ch to a BM prostitute? This picture does not make any sense to me at all. So, when I was down a few weeks ago my attitude was much different. As can be verified by PizzaDude. I barely acknowledged the now ex-novia. Sure, she followed me to KL and back to BM but, she got the clear hint that it wasn't happening. I had the best time ever on my last trip. I left all of the commitment crap at home. Let's be totally realistic here..please. What could be the possible outcome of falling for a prostitute in CR? Why would anyone spend a ton of money and time to fly to paradise only to be put in pu*sy prison? I'm sure she has a passion for you above many, if not all others. But, the fact remains that she makes her living having sex with random men. And as many of them as is possible. Think long and hard about that. I'm only saying all of this because I have felt the same way. I had to give myself a real reality check. Are you going to marry her and bring her to the states? Move to CR and be her constant companion (on her home turf..bad idea.) Life is short homeboy. In my humble opinion, if neither of the above mentioned outcomes takes place it's a waste of time. You have mentioned in previous posts that you are married. Would you want the BM hooker to get in the way of that? Talk about an expensive piece of ass!! Mrs. Asto would be saying, " That will be half of this and all of that and oh by the way..the K*ds...etc. " I hate to see anyone waste emotion on such a hopeless situation. Yes, I am speaking from experience. So, after all of this rambling my bottom line opinion is treat CR the way you did the first time. Go down with the expectation of having a great time and meeting many great girls. Even if the relationship only lasts a few hours. Forget the relationship thing. Pass some of the Astro around to several of the girls. They'll love you for it! dapanz1 |
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| Author: | Mexpat [ Wed Apr 28, 2004 11:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Seems pretty obvious to me that sweet Cristal just doesn't want to share YOUR wealth with any other chicas. Not surprising as that is, after all, her business...extracting money from Gringos. Before your next trip try telling her you are a little short of cash because your old mom is in the hospital. Tell her that you'd like to stay with her and Patricia instead of in a hotel since, after all, you are novios. Tell her you hope she won't mind if you eat with them until you get back on your feet and then tell her that each day you'll need to borrow around 5,000 colones for walking around money. Then ask her if she still wants to be your exclusive novia and prepare yourself for a rude awakening  mexpat |
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| Author: | Witling [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 12:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Astroglide, I've read your continuing saga regarding Crystal and I'm sure you are a great guy but dude, you need to wake up. First of all there is no girl in the Blue Marlin worth the bullshit you've let yourself be pulled through. I saw Crystal with Patricia and 2 Gringos the other night in the BM and if she hadn't been with Patricia I wouldn't even have noticed her. She's cute but there are much better in San Jose and the Dominican Republic. It's your business what you do but trust me when I say there are many, many CRT members who just shake their heads in total disbelief that you could let yourself be such a chump. You post your stories here but never listen to reason. You are just continuing the inevitible heartbreak you are setting yourself up for. I hate to see a guy taken advantage of, especially another CRT member. I sure hope you come to your senses soon for your sake. If not, we will still be here. Rest assured I WON'T be one of the ones that said I told you so because I'm telling you upfront. Good luck. |
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| Author: | Guest [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 7:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Smoke and Mirrors mi amigo. Don't forget, it is all smoke and mirrors. Dman |
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| Author: | Hung-Lo [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 9:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
you have got yourself into quite a situation astro, here are my blunt observations on your current novia cristal...i have read most of your posts on this crt forum. my observation is not intended to offend you nor upset you, i'm just merely giving my opinion. you have strong feelings for her and there is no way to quickly revese those feelings, it is what i refer to as going past the point of no return (that means you are vulnerable emotionally to this woman). I can sense you do not want to hurt cristal's feelings because you have a good heart. and you would hope that cristal doesn't hurt your feelings either. facts and observations made by other forum members. a) cristal is 18 years old and works at the bm and sees guys for work b) you are married c) you like being with other chicas so, i would hit as many massage parlors and as many bars as possible because you only live once. I can understand things may get a little weird when you venture into the bm and kl to pick up chicas. oh one more bit of advice, 'learn from your past experiences' obviuosly, you have a great approach and attitude when snagging a gfe from chicas. but if you don't tweak your expectations when having a gfe ,you will continue having the same issues with future gfe's good luck. i wish you the best |
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| Author: | Tman [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 1:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Witling, Mexpat and Joe...ditto what they said... 
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| Author: | PacoLoco [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 2:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Astro, I am surprised and disappointed to find out a Dominican is behaving this way, I thought just the Ticas played the "jealousy" card, she must be learning it from them. In my limited experience I've noticed the Colombians,Dominicans, etc. have never acted that way with me, although I had several Ticas pulling this crap last trip and King Costa was kind enough to clue me in and provide some counter-strategies. He could offer you some words of wisdom for sure. One problem at this point is, you have devoted so much time and constant attention to her, the minute you offer any less she will start acting up trying to manipulate and control you all the more. If King Costa doesn't chime in I'll find those old posts for you and share his advice, although it is more about preventing the pissed/jealousy behavior, or putting a stop to it the minute she starts... |
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| Author: | Gringotim [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 7:06 pm ] |
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All excellent responses! Mexpat...that was great advice! |
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| Author: | Mighty1 [ Thu Apr 29, 2004 7:20 pm ] |
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First of all let me say that, Astro, I enjoy your posts and insights very much. You wear your heart on your sleeve and I can relate to that. I have been following your escapades with Cristal and as many of us who are not fortunate to be in Costa Rica at that time live vicariously through you guys. I don't want to reiterate what great advice Witling and Mexpat have said as there is not much to add. I think that you are a gentleman who is "smitten" with this young lady and normally that is not a bad thing but part of having a fantasy is that you have to wake up from it. So hopefully all us CRT brotherhoods are serving you a "wake-up call" Peace Mighty1 |
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