www.CostaRicaTicas.com

This is out of the recent edition of AM Costa Rica Oct. 12 2007
As educated as this guy is did he not travel to CR prior to moving there? Surely he did being married to a Tica, but maybe not. What did he expect? CR is not the US no more so than the DR is a great place to find and date a chica for a long term relationship. I'll bet he's whiney no matter where he happens to be.

Berk.....



His Costa Rican experience
was not what he expected

Dear A.M. Costa Rica:

I have been reading the A.M. Costa Rica daily for over a year now. My only regret is that I did not start reading it sooner.

I say that because I, like many other foreigners who at some point in their lives sought to try to make a life in Costa Rica, could have benefitted greatly from the honest, straightforward, in-your-face type of reporting you provide.

I met my Tica wife in the United States in 1998. She was there on a tourist visa trying to improve her English. Being a practicing immigration attorney and not wishing to violate the dual-intent doctrine, I eventually sent her back to Costa Rica to await the processing of a fiancé visa. In 2001, she entered the U.S. on her fiancé visa and we were married in May of that year.

Our oldest son was born in late 2002. Our second was born in early 2006.

Between 1998 and 2006, I endured my wife’s perpetual homesickness, depression, and endless complaints about how much she missed Costa Rica and her family. I thought the solution to this problem was to move my family to Costa Rica and raise my Ch*ldren there. So in May of 2006, we did exactly that, much to my regret.

Between May of 2006 and June of 2007, when we returned to the United States, I experienced all the horrors of life in Costa Rica that your articles and letters to the editor have described. I observed and was the victim of fraud, theft and deception, including being robbed at gunpoint.

I grimaced at the sight of dog feces and garbage all over the streets and sidewalks. I shuddered at the sight of fathers teaching their young Ch*ldren how to relieve themselves in public. I endured the lack of hot water, soap, toilet paper, paper towels or hand dryers, and even the lack of toilet seats in the filthy restrooms, on those rare occasions when I could actually find a public restroom.

I smelled the rancid odor of the clothes people wore on the buses on their way to work in the morning, an odor that cold-water clothes washing simply cannot remove.

I suffered through the blackouts and water outages.

I patiently tolerated the incompetence of my lawyer and the supposedly skilled craftsman like the three different so-called electricians I hired to re-wire the fire trap where we lived, one of which did not know to ground a 220 line, nearly killing me.

But most sadly of all, I endured repeatedly hearing the racist term “gringo.” Make no mistake about it — when Ticos use this word, they use it with the same force and meaning that the “N-word” is used in the United States.

Yes, I wish I would have started reading your pages sooner. I might have never moved to Costa Rica.

I appreciate greatly that you have the courage to report Costa Rican news so honestly.


Timothy P. Sullivan
Attorney at Law
Lincoln, Nebraska

_________________
FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

Berk,

I dunno. That guy sounds like he really got the "Tico" treatment.

Personally, I kinda enjoy being called a "gringo"...do they really mean it with that much venom?

For sure, Latin America ain't for everyone. Some of my family has lived in Guatemala for ages and they love it. I had enough of that place after picking a botfly out of my arm.

Frankly, I wouldn't go south of the border anymore except for the fishing and the Latinas...god those women are to die for. Falling in love with one though, can be hazardous.

-PA

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-PA*

I can relate to what the guy is saying. For me, it's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

That 220 electrical line that almost killed him.....I wonder if that was in a "suicide shower?"

DITTO this!!! Really it is a great place if you know how to implement it in your life. Take the good & don't bother with the bad.

This guy is a real big Poosie IMHO ! I mean look he wants to live in some sterile environment. A blind man would know Latin America is not going to be like this? The best thing for men here to take notice of is the Tica's homesick whiney ways. Most of these Ticas are not going to make real good transplants unless they are already familiar & really love living in the USA.

Most women get hung up on petty crap period & YOU PAY THE PRICE, not only in money but mental anguish as well. IMHO this guy had so many things going in his favor & it still turned out to be a mess. My guess is their age difference is probably within reason. He had enough $$$$$$ & he gave her 2 little ones to keep her busy. He had the advantage of meeting her in the USA so she probably has a decent family or life style back in CR. I would also guess this was a real love born relationship where she was never a P4P type at all & with ALL THIS GOING FOR IT, IT still didn’t go that well for him!

This makes it a real joke to try & save or convert a working girl where all you have is BS anyway. They have everything to gain & you have everything to lose which you will. For them it is little more than an extended vacation where all the bills are paid for.

I will say that many foreign relationships have worked well where the age difference was in reason, there is true love, finances were in order, both people enjoyed the virtues of both countries where they could spend extended time in both places. The Tica is going to have to be able to spend IMHO at least 2 to 3 months a year with her family at the beginning to be happy about it all. They are just too close to their family which is different compared to most Gringo life styles. I think this part is a plus not a minus.

You can use these things for a nice balance & change if you are a secure individual. Most men I see fight these losing up hill battles. The best way I feel to enjoy Latin America is to ride the good parts & forget the rest.

Oh his concept of how they use the word Gringo is all Phucked up IMHO. I like the word, doesn't bother me a bit but most Ticos tell me Gringos hate it. It is a term to describe us from the Canadians or other North Americans. It is not the N word like he thinks it is. This guy is plain paranoid which fits right in with his white glove mentality.

Nice find Berk ....

PS This guy is the epitome of the American Pussified male letting her whine her way into wearing the pants of where they will live. She will not respect his ass at all & just start walking up & down it til this guy goes NUTS ! He needs to find his balls!

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"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

Not sure if this is correct but- I was taught that the word "gringo" was originally a derogatory term but it is not usually used as one anymore, it still can be but depends on the tone and context of the speaker.

Sounds like the big pu*sy should pack up and go back to Nebraska then send his esposa a nice big check every month and all his problems will be solved. Really, who moves to a foriegn country without visiting first or doing ANY research to learn what to expect and how to avoid the pitfalls? May sound cold but I have no sympathy for guys that get the Tico OR Tica treatment because they ignore those that have gone before them or are too lazy to learn about what they're getting into. Brings to mind another thread offering up all sorts of sympathy posts for a member that is heartbroken by a novia-puta, what do these guys expect? Oh yeah as VB says- "But this one is different!"
My theory of survival there is one of expectations- if you simply go into these situations EXPECTING to be lied to, phucked over, ripped off and taken advantage of by the locals and their friends at every opportunity YOU present then you'll always keep your guard up, it won't be such a shock when it happens and your loss will be minimal. If you don't actually get screwed over then wow, what a pleasant surprise- you may have actually found a novia, puta, Tico, etc... that you can trust. (temporarily)

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Poor guy is a fish out of water.Living in a third world country is not for everyone.The culture and language obstacles are impossible for some people.He's going to go crazy if he doesn't learn to accept the fact he's not in the US.

You are absolutely correct on this one. Americans generally equate friendliness with honesty. Not in Costa Rica if you have any common sense!

Berk....

_________________
FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

This is the way I learned to function also. This way I have had the least disappointments in my life. Wow Paco you stole a page right out of my playbook !

_________________
"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

You fellas are being a little hard on this guy.

Granted it sounds like he jumped into living in Costa Rica without visiting but as for his wife all he said was, "Between 1998 and 2006, I endured my wife’s perpetual homesickness, depression, and endless complaints about how much she missed Costa Rica and her family."

That could be true for about 90% of guys who marry Latinas. He may not have been too bright in moving to Costa Rica without visiting first but whether he has balls or not shouldn't really come into the picture.

OK, maybe I'm a little biased. I was born and raised in Lincoln, Nebraska. I can tell you that life there is pretty simple. It is the state capitol and home of of the University of Nebraska.

The people are known for the honesty and "down home" ethics. They truly epitomize the "midwest" culture of "live and let live" and "help your neighbor". The ethnic mix is also predominately white.

They have very low unemployment, take pretty good care of the city and all in all it is a very nice place to live and raise a family. Life is simple there. You get a job, get married, raise a family and die. That's about it.

Now that being said, I moved to Florida in 1973 when I found out we were free to go. I needed to see something other than corn and wheat and someplace that wasn't 105 in the summer and 25 below zero in the winter (not to mention the snow). Overall it is a nice place to live but would be a real culture shock for anyone to move from Nebraska to any third-world country.

Many of the things he mentioned are things that many of us have learned to either take for granted or deal with. But then again, how many of us actually LIVE in Costa Rica? I think the guys on CRT who live there might be better able to relate to his plight.

As for our esteemed Mr. Sullivan, I called my sister in Lincoln and left a msg for her to look this guy up and send me his phone number. I'll call him and see what he has to say.

Wit

It's not that hard living down here. Sure I bitch about stuff just like everybody else, but it is really a soft gringo that "can't" live down here.

WTF, this guy thinks his troubles are over because he has moved his family back to the US? His wife is never, NEVER going to stop missing her family and friends in CR. The dumb sh*t should have moved some of her family to the US and not the other way around. It is obvious that he doesn’t understand the Latin mentality and deep ties of a Latin woman and here family. I predict that this marriage will not last much longer. She will be back in CR with her family and k*ds collecting a large check every month and he will be
At home scratching his head wondering what the hell went wrong.

I forgot to add something about the term "Gringo".

Yes, it is commonly used by people as a form of description, not necessarily in a derogatory way. I remember when I first met my ex-wife (in Colombia), but before I had met her family, I called and asked to speak with her and I heard her mother say "este el gringo".

I know I've heard it used in other contexts. I wouldn't take it personally.

Earlier this year I was meeting the family of a ladyfriend in Medellin. Her father and his brother shared a laugh and she told me their way of referring to gringos was to use the term "Mister", as if it was supposed to be funny.

I thought about that and realized that people in the U.S. will often fake a Mexican accent and use the term "señor" in much the same way when referring to Spanish-speaking people.

The same could be said about any city in the USA. You can go to the cheapest apartments or a trailer park and see people living in what we might consider to be horrible conditions. I once entered a trailer near Atlanta and there must have been 50,000 roaches in that place. People were living there ! OTOH. Back here in CR I see so many people that live a very good life. For example in Escazu, if you live in a newer condo or apt, It is very much similar to life in an American city with the exception that you can get laid a lot easier. You really have to weigh the pros and the cons. I'm glad it's not for everyone.

Witling

I know our back seat guessing about this guys troubles maybe off the mark but you are very familiar with Lincoln & I have spent some time around there also. How do they accept Latinos especially if they don't speak English very well?

We all tend to be paranoid at times & I do know many Latinos are about how we accept them. They think most Americans look down their nose at them. I think many do . Maybe this is what is making her miss home so much? Maybe Miami would be a happy median to the situation ?.

I believe it helps a lot to have them mix with other Good Latinos in the States. You have to keep them excited about things where ever they are at so their minds don’t wonder or stray IMHO.

One thing I feel is if a relationship is starting to have problems a location generally is not going to help that much. This is why if I were in this guys shoes I rather split the sheets early & cut my losses at that point than have her drag me around to what she thinks will make her happy. Odds are if he follows her he will be the one that pays the price & she still will not be happy !

_________________
"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

I don't really think this guy is a "whiner." I say that because, his experience closely reflects that of CRT member MexPat, who first wrote "Living the Dream" about his excitement at living in C.R., then four years later wrote "Leaving the Dream," a post in four parts, daly lost somewhere in the lost archives here.

Many of his observations might be true of any of us trying to live in a country with an emerging economy, lousy infrastructure and a foreign language and culture.

If you want proof that many expatriate Americanos can't deal with the culture, just look at Escazu'. Wal*mart, T.G.I. Fridays and Hooters. RadioShack and the Gap. We bring our language, comforts, food and ideals with us; many of us never even try to learn the language.

Quoting Andy Donahue, teacher at ALISA, a prominent Spanish-language school in San Pedro: "The sad thing is, I know at least three dozen gringos who have never spoken a word of Spanish here." This probably isn't Mr. Sullivan's story, as he is married to a tica. Still, we want to believe that Costa Rica is going to be just like Lincoln, Nebraska...but with beaches, monkeys, parrots, fresh fruit, cheap labor, housing and sex.

Whiner? No, I don't think so. Foolish? Absolutely. And his foolishness just bit him in the ass.

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.