Berk2302 wrote:
Look at it this way. You could have posted a thread with the title..."Mr. Stiles gets caught by wife phucking hookers in CR... divorce pending! In reality, she probably knew something was going on and "maybe" deceided to travel down the same path so to speak. While this certainly won't be a popular comment I agree with your friend. What goes around more times than not comes around. You're in a shit hole of bad reality. Ask yourself this... If you got caught would you want her to leave? Are you reacting like you would want her to react if you were in her place. Isn't what's good for the goose good for the gander? These are some damn hard questions. I do not envy you in the slightest.
A couple of points on this.
First, a lot of people seem to be going even beyond the whole karma thing that there is some sort of cosmic mechanism that what you do comes back to you in some unrelated way. Instead, they're suggesting that this was somehow a direct result of Mikey not covering all his tracks and his wife finding out and using that as justification for what she did. They've been pointing to the thread where Mikey cockily boasted about what he had been managing to pull over on his wife and how he did and where they predicted he'd get burned (the irresistable I told you so cliches). Berk didn't go quite that far but simply suggested the suspicion somehow came into play. While I agree, that his wife must have had her suspicions (especially about that "don't call me, I'll call you" demand), were those really strong or certain enough for her to do what she did. I mean she didn't seem to fully know what Mikey was up to on his "business trips" or if she had wouldn't she have at least mentioned it at their sit-down lunch and specifically used it as an excuse for what she did? Maybe she did and Mikey simply didn't mention it, but that would be a major part of the discussion for him to leave out. And, as Berk pointed out, the title of the thread would probably be very different. OTOH, while she probably didn't know completely or with any certainty what Mikey was doing, she certainly knew full well what she was doing. Should anybody do such a thing based JUST on a suspicion? What if she had been wrong (she wasn't, but what if she had?)?
My second observation and the reason I singled out Berk's quote is that I don't quite accept his analogy. "If you got caught would you want her to leave?" First of all, if you were the only one that strayed, this would not at all be about what YOU wanted. Sure, you could hope that she'd turn the other cheek and do what would be best for you rather than what she'd more likely to want for herself. However, you have to remember, she'd be the victim and what SHE wanted would take precedence. Secondly, that is NOT even exactly the flip side of what happened. You should ask, "If you not only got caught but ALSO knocked up one of your "whores" (her probable terminology, not mine), would you really expect her not only NOT to file for divorce but to actually help raise that bastard Ch*ld?" I don't think so!
D2864 wrote:
... it brings to mind what mongers who date hookers must have to put out of their minds. How can they not daydream about the hundreds of strangers who have put it to their girl... who knows, maybe it is actually a turn on for them.
I really don't see much difference in Mrs. MS having a K*D whom is not Mikey's and step K*ds who were created outside the marriage, it is still someone else phucking your wife.
Again, the situations that you describe are not exactly the same. If a monger dates a hooker, he does not enter into the relationship with any expectation of exclusivity. From the very beginning, he must expect her to continue to see other guys. That was after all how he probably met her himself. Was Mikey's wife a slut when he married her? Well, maybe she was, but even if she was, Mikey probably didn't know about it, or expect it to continue if he did, or he probably wouldn't have married her. Which brings me to another key difference between Mikey's situation and the monger-hooker dating relationship that you refer to. The monger usually dates the hooker primarily for the sex. That is nothing anywhere near the level of commitment that there is when you enter a contract with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with and raise a family with. Sure, a lot of mongers break that same commitment with their real wives, but those wives are usually very understandably hurt by that betrayal.
I find D2864's 2nd example equally off the mark. There is a big difference in Mrs. MS having a K*D whom is not Mikey's and step K*ds who were created outside the marriage. The step K*ds are the result of a PREVIOUS relationship that pre-existed the marriage. Most guys don't expect to marry a virgin but they do expect their wives to be faithful once they tie the knot. It is not just that the little bastard is a reminder of your wives previous relationships. It is a reminder of her cheating and lying to YOU and WHILE you were supposedly faithful to her.
I might agree that the fact that Mikey was also cheating could serve to lessen any guilt he might have about that, but I see some problems with that argument as well. Sure, he might think "She cheated but I cheated too, so I guess what I did wasn't so bad". However, he could just as likely think "I never knocked any chica up, and having to pay for and participate in the raising of this little bastard is a pretty hefty price to pay for the relatively minor stuff that I did."
And finally, the stepkids in your example were probably part of the bargain at the time of marriage and hopefully are being paid for or heavily subsidized by the Ch*ld support payments of the actual birth father. I might add that the previous husband is in some ways a brother because only he can fully appreciate the occasional hells you're going through as the current husband. The bastard lovechild is another story. There is no guarantee that the real father will have to pay anything towards rearing the Ch*ld. In fact, unless Mikey agressively pursues all his legal avenues, it is highly unlikely. Not only will Mikey have to pay and be locked into raising the Ch*ld, he will have a constant reminder that his wife's lover got to enjoy all the fruit while he picked up the tab.
BTW, for those who believe in karma, we already pointed out the bad karma for Mikey's 4 boys who are completely innocent in all this, but what about the karma for his wife's lover? He seems to be getting off scott-free in all this. Mikey's wife said she is keeping the Ch*ld but what did she say about keeping the boyfriend? How does the boyfriend feel about another man raising his K*D? Is he completely relieved? Or will he try to claim visitation rights? Will he even be able to get them without paying something in Ch*ld support? Will he simply go away or will Mikey's wife continue to go off on her trysts with him while Mikey stays whom babysitting the little bastard? How would you really feel if the latter happened to you? I think it would be a very rare person who would accept that situation or be that noble. Pussywhipped would probably be a better word.
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
Calendar
.
) You were both conveiently using your marriage as a base of operations, raising the family, but otherwise largely ignoring each other. That's why most women cheat, feeling ignored at home. Ironically, many of us do the same because we both get into a mode where we can't break out of that behavior.
Pura Vida 
