www.CostaRicaTicas.com

KC...perhaps you missed the main point to my response to Pacificas statement that we are just like all other animals and will automatically act or react accordingly. My point was not about incest or pedofilia...but basically that if we are just tossed in with the "animal kingdom" as some suggest here...how is it many of our species are "sicker" sexually than the lower animal species. So the point is...just that we are having this discussion gives some hope that we can think, rationalize, and "do the right thing" and be in positive control of ourselves related to this total thread subject. Sorry...didnt mean to throw anyone or go off track. It was just an illustration of a point.

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

Got it, sorry I got off track .........

Pacifica...I know what you are saying...and to a degree agree that we humans act the same or sometimes worse than more basic species of animals. The hope I hold on to though is that I still believe we can REASON ourselves mentally back to a better state of being and find some answers to the "holes in our souls". Without that hope and belief...life and love would have a lot less meaning to me. Even sex...

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

I find it very interesting that the highest % still is looking for a committed relationship.

I guess I am in a minority that has given up on a longterm committed relationship.

Of course I guess committed needs to be defined

I am NOT looking for a committed relationship, not ruling it out either.

I voted for the first option because that is the only reason I would stop mongering. Either that or until I can't get it up any more. Whichever comes first.

Depending on age, mongers venture in and out of LTRs all the time. I think they typically monger during breaks between LTRs rather than once a monger always a monger.

I'm not sure why anyone would be surprised in the results, however given that many a monger tries LTRs with hookers. With all the women to choose from, they choose hookers which is just insane to me, but that discussion has been covered many times on here.

I have to relent a little bit. There is one, just one, hooker in CR who I actually think would be great in an LTR. I forget her name, but she hung out in the SL, she was a bit over weight, but she could speak really good English, she was actually in school for real (!!!!!), she didn't smoke and maybe didn't drink either...... she had a killer smile and personality. She also could not be out passed 10pm so she was never around in the late hours. Wish I could remember her name (maybe Diane, but spelled different). Most guys wouldn't likely like her solely because she is a little chubby. I always thought that her personality made up for the less than perfect body.

There are many gems, but it takes a lot of digging and (more importantly) you have to move past the P4P part of the relationship before you can have any hope of figuring out if you have a gem or a lump of coal.

You have to also keep in mind that their work is their work. If you have a problem with that, stay away.

I have moved past P4P with a few now. Only then do you find out what they are really like as a person. Until you do that, all you get is an act, which is fine, but it is what it is.

It is actually pretty nice having puta for friends. They can clue you into a lot of stuff.

How did we get from reasons to stop mongering to sex with WOMEN young enough to be our daughters to pursuing sexual relations with Babi*s or Ch*ldren? Before I go back on track, allow me to deal with some of these side comments. TMan, I see your point about there being a lot of deviation and hypocrisy in the human species, but having sex with 18-19yr olds is hardly they same thing as pedofilia even if they are young enough to be our daughters. The latter serves no biological purpose and would be akin to homosexuality in animals or humans. But the former situation, pursuing sex with younger vibrant and attractive SEXUALLY MATURE mates, not only does it occur regularly in the animal kingdom but should be much more the norm than having sex with females past their sexual reproductive prime. Besides most animals don't live much past their reproductive prime. Even humans, until relatively recently, didn't live much past the age when many women experience menopause and the wide demand for ED drugs is also testimony to the increasing life expectancy on the male side (even if they had it in caveman times , there probably wouldn't have been much need for it). So I'd argue, from a biological perspective, not only isn't it unusual that men enjoy SEX with much younger sexually mature women, it is actually more understandable (again biologically) than being sexually attracted to older women. (obviously other needs such as companionship, intimacy etc. is another story)

Pacifica's comment about the lion also has some other relevance to our discussion about having sex with sexually mature women that are young enough to be our daughters. He pointed to it as an example of how far we would go to protect our own Ch*ldren. But it is also an example of how some other species such as the lion have no problem at all killing OTHER lion cubs that are also young enough to be theirs. My point is that the mental conflict some guys have about pursuing women young enough to be their daughters is a human thing. The lion has no problem at all distinguishing between his own and other lions' cubs. Sure, we shouldn't want our OWN daughters. We should also want the best mate for them which would probably NOT be someone our own age. But if someone else's daughter is engaging in meaningless affairs or P4P with various guys anyway, how is being with guys our own age such as ourselves any worse really than it being with anyone else regardless of age? At least, as crooked pointed out, a lot of the older guys might treat those women better. If there is hypocrisy in any of this, it is not about our having sex with younger women but in our engaging in P4P sex (or having casual sex) with women of any age, if we wouldn't want our own daughter doing it. After all that 40 year old hooker you may have had sex with is someone's daughter too.

More back on track:
these are 2 very good points and illustrate what I was saying before about a lot of these reasons being interrelated.This is another great post and points to what would have been my choice too if Dave had included all the options I offered in the other thread.I think my option C better covers Prostoner's situation and my option F covers Paco's and both come closer to covering my own situation than any of the others that Dave included with this new poll. I was thinking the same thing. Not to keep picking on TMan but I've been mulling over this post of his:The reason I quoted him in full is because I actually PERSONALLY fully agree with it but with a couple of important caveats.

First, no matter how rationally I PERSONALLY view what I ALSO believe the relationship between sex and marriage should be, it doesn't really matter if my chosen mate doesn't ALSO see it the same way and, unfortunately, in my experience most women are NOT like Dave's wife or TMan's novia. And that brings me to my second problem with TMan's observations here. Sure there are many married guys on this board whose marriage do not SEEM to suffer from their mongering but that doesn't mean there aren't any problems or potential problem's with those marriages. Some guys monger because there are AREADY problems with their wives. Perhaps its just a matter of they're NOT getting something at home that they should be and that they CAN get with these other women. Perhaps it is something they don't WANT to get from their wives anyway . So while their marriages may not be suffering from their mongering, they may be mongering because their marriages are somehow suffering. Besides, whatever is behind it, the main point is that in order to pursue these things they have to do it secretly and if their wives were even remotely okay with it they wouldn't have to go to the lengths that many of them seem to have to. Sure for some, like TMan, a simple "Don't ask, don't tell" policy suffices, but for many of us if not most there would be REAL problems if the old ball and chain ever found out. The fact that we ourselves see nothing morally wrong with pursuing our sexual urges outside of marriage is not what really counts in the real world where most of us live.

And, while there seem to be some married guys on this board who somehow manage to convince their wives to let them take multiple "fishing trips" to CR each year, I think there are far more guys not on this board who would monger but don't, or at least don't monger as much, because of their marital status. And it also seems that for every married guy on this board like TMan describes there are several more who are either single or divorced (or soon to be divorced ) far out of proportion to the ratios of those types that you find in the general population for guys our age and I think that says a lot about the impact of modern american marriages as they currently exist on the sport of mongering.

Besides that, and this finally gets to Travelman's point, what Dave has and what TMan is talking about is NOT what I was thinking of when I suggested a COMMITTED LTR as a reason for stopping mongering. And I think it should have been pretty obvious from the context that that was not what we were talking about.

Despite the philosophical merits of TMan's argument, which I totally agree with, about seperating sex and marriage, that is NOT the philosophy that most of us encounter in our mates. Monogamous fidelity is at least expected of us in most cases in what I would call real COMMITTED LTR's, whether we choose to sneak around or not. Many guys here would and have chosen to sneak around so that option #1 would not be their choice, but many other guys, regardless of their personal views on the subject, would choose to remain sexually faithful in that situation either because the relationship also served to satisfy their sexual urges, because they didn't want to risk the consequences of getting caught or else out of respect for their partners own views on the subject (not wanting to hurt their wives feelings).

I said before I wasn't looking for nor probably will I ever be looking for a COMMITTED LTR the way I defined it above. By definition, IF I was then it WOULD definitely be a reason to stop mongering. Since I'm not, it isn't. OTOH, an OPEN or at least semi-open LTR is completely another story, not that I'm really looking for that either right now (though I certainly wouldn't rule it out). But then, if I were so lucky as to find something like that, again by definition it wouldn't be something that would impinge on my mongering and so (other than if it also serving all my needs sexually, which would be luckier still) it WOULDN'T be a reason to stop mongering.

Prolijo: "TMan, a simple "Don't ask, don't tell" policy suffices...."


I think there is a difference between being at the center on some action and having to plan a fishing trip as a front for the wife or S.O. that isn't really a fishing trip.

It is far far easier for Tman to have the above policy given his location - at any time of day he can slip into action and slip out. Not much more difficult than going to lunch.

Dont ask Dont Tell...exactly the way to go!

Prolijo as usual makes many good points.

Much of my point on trying to get guys to be realistic about their expectations with younger, working Latins is tied to your last parenthesis..."needs of companionship, intimacy..." if I can expand on your thought using the term "mutuality" (I just came up with that one...really ). There is no doubting that we find attractive 18-19 yr olds much more sexually appealing than women our own age. A given. BUT, where some of us cant connect the dots is in being intellectually and emotionally stimulated along with the sex. For many of us, me at least, the pure sex act easily gets boring or monotonous...which is why many of us monger all or part of the time...a little variety. BUT...at least for me...the line is always drawn and the experience limited by the fact that I cant or wont get emotionally attached to them. I guess some guys do here...but I just cant understand it. I think a lot of guys are missing out on true love and companionship with mature and sexy women in their 30s and yes, even 40s...who in my experience are more experienced, and often more comfortable, in the sexual area with a man. I would argue a more mature woman ...and regular woman versus pro...have more to offer in helping a man build a complete life. To have long term interest in someone, I still believe you have to have many "Mutual" things in common. This is hard to do with someone 20 + years your junior. So...for fantasy sake...have at it with any legal aged girl of your choice. But for true love and mature devotion...I just dont think youre going to find it there. And I'm really not insisting everyone should be into true love and devotion...but I know SOME guys here are going for that...in all the wrong places...with all the wrong girls. So thats who I'm trying to speak out to.

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

I'll go with Pac55