www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Ruffnutz.

Great post. Very profound and right on the money in regards to our mongering ways. To judge is to be judged. Most of us will eventually find what we are looking for. Wether it be someone special, or dallying from flower to flower for the rest of our lives. What works for some, does not necessarily work for others. AS for your confusion as to what lies ahead,worry not. You are still a very young man. I am more than twice your age and have mongered for 40 year is all parts of the world. I have had many ups and downs. I came to CR more than 20 years ago. In that time I was involved in 2 "relationships" Both ended in emotional and financial disasters. I thought phu*k it, I had better stick to my old ways. But 6 years ago I hooked up with a non pro and have been happy as shit ever since. All the things I had in my mogering days without the baggage.
I envy you sencerity and honesty, I could never bare my soul as you did.
You have many years ahead of you, don,t let this shit get you down. Enjoy, enjoy enjoy. Thing will eventualy work out the way they were intended to.

Remember "Always forward, never straight"

Hope to hook up with you some day and have a drink. Best of luck.

Tuanis

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not as good as I once was, but as good once as I ever was

Lying...

There are so many levels of deception. A chica in Buenos Aires once told me, "La Noche es para las mientas."-- The night is for the lies.

She was not claiming that to be the province of the providers, either. The whole episode, from their insatiable physical interest in us to our belly-laughs offered up for their array of blow job jokes.

It's simply a poker game. They posture to build the pot up as large as they can without you walking away. If you're still around, they pull out the sick family, abusive boyfriend or impatient slum lord cards.

We, on the other hand, ascribe favorita status to them immediately, drop hints about moving to CR, mis-state the frequency of our visits, and offer them pure crap funnelled from China through Walmart to make them feel special.

Sometimes, though, we find common ground that evolves into genuine intimacy. The other stuff is still there, but they're not lies, only part of the gamesmanship.

Intimacy at home...

That was the paragraph that jumped out at me. In my more benign years, strip clubs and porn movies offered sufficient diversion to my S.O. relatiohship, which is ongoing. I found those fantasy-oriented experiences to be an enhancement to my home love and sex life.

As I progressed through various continents of flesh, I started to notice the opposite result, as Ruffnutz did. It's been five years, and I feel like I've come out the other side. For what it's worth, here is my 2 tier strategy:

1. While I mentally and emotionally let go completely with a chica when together, I avoid repeats. If circumstances dictate, I'll have a chica a 2nd time, but no mas! At times, this feels like a HUGE sacrifice, but I have found it quite effective.

2. I try to treat my S.O. more like a hooker. Sounds callous? Not at all. I basically play the BM chica game at home. I forget about bills, K*ds and day-to-day tensions at home, and just concentrate on fulfilling my manly duties of getting her off, a minimum of 3 times per week.

The transition I made from "making love to her," and "screwing hookers brains out" to "screwing everybody" really made a big difference.

I wonder about the near assumption on this thread that we all have intimacy issues. It is clear that we appreciate intimacy -- a l o t of intimacy. The question is whether we are more or less healthy than the average guy in Desmoines. Some psych PHD candidate should spend a few years studying the intimacy of mongers in South and Central America and Asia. You suppose we could get a government grant to do that?

Some people will do ANYTHING for a $40 massage. I hope this one works out for you -- it would be well-deserved.

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SlickWings


Seems like I spend half my life drinking, gambling, and mongering. The other half... I waste.

Ruff,

Snap the phuck out of it!!! This is no time to get sentimental!

Get down there and get some P*SSY!

All kidding aside...................

I enjoyed reading your post, yes MEN are classified as DOGS! But, I have always tried to keep myself different from that stereotype.....but not that different.

I hear what your saying and your asking for validation here?......We do not need it.............. We are not the judges who determine who is good and who is bad! We live our lives as we choose! Some do not have the choices we have. The working girls do what they do for many reasons. In CR, I find it is because they do not have many opportunities, it is mostly for their families.

So.....do not judge them............they are people like you and I.........trying to get by in this thing called life. It's a funny thing, this thing called life.

Who are we to decide how it should be!

Go for Eva and do not look back! "CARPE DIEM" I will and have done the same!

_________________
GG
"Last time I said no......I misunderstood the question!"

Ruffnuz;
I notice you and other said you were 29 or 30. You are the guys that are young, handsome, strong and can go all night. I have a much different take on these chicas. First, as the tag line below states, I'm old, fat and ugly. The attraction of these 20 year olds is magnified 100 times when you're my age (61) and look the way I do. No way I would have a shot at most of the pu*sy you get in the states. Consquently, I live here in paradise where forbidden fruit is available to me every day. Havng been in two long time marriages while in the states, I have found a new found vitality here and I never think about any lies I have to tell to them and come to think of it, I never tell them any lies but if I did, I wouldn't lose a moments sleep over it.
In short, when you get older, you'll come to appreciate it and thank God that you can find a place in the world to get it anytime you want.
Pura Vida!
LVSteve

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Just an old horney, fat gambler.

Wit’s got it right.

We’re mongers and we’re different.

Some of us are past that point in our lives where we’re looking for the perfect relationship. We might be married with families and have obligations from which we cannot honorably extract ourselves.

That being said, I have met one or two working girls that I’d consider hooking up with, long-term. You just have to remember that the girl has learned to view sex as work, just as you have learned to see sex as recreation. It doesn’t mean that you both can’t work back into the sex-as-love thing. If you ask any of these girls, they would probably say that they’re hoping to eventually settle down with some sexy bitch. We have something in common. We’re both violating societal norms.

I can remember lying on my stomach in an asian massage parlor, looking around and wondering what the Phuck I’m doing here. There’s always a period of a few minutes when the honey disappears after you hand over the dinero – a great time for personal reflection. Soon, a young almond-eyed honey generally appears and reminds me.

My mongering behavior allows me to entertain my fantasies and enjoy my appetites, which may or may not be different from non-mongers (five at once??). I get to have lots of fine pu*sy and still meet my family obligations. If the opportunity for mongering was not present, I might have to choose to abandon my obligations in my pursuit of splooge.

Not me, I’ve chosen to have it both ways. In another time or another culture, I might be keeping a mistress. No way could I afford that. As for getting it at home, most gringas become medical wrecks in their forties. Any shred of her sexual desire becomes snuffed out somewhere between the prosac and the prednisone. I’ll take a partner that’s paid to be enthusiastic over one that just wants to get it over with - every time.

There’s a warm fire on the hearth and when Papa gets home, he’s in a good mood.

underdog

I think we should consider ourselves fortunate to be able to travel to another country and enjoy our hobby. I know many a married miserable guy that bitch and complain about their situation and wont do anything to change it. Ruff, it takes balls to end a 13 year relationship. Only you know if it was the right thing to do. I had winter depression most of my life. Last december I was without work for about 6 weeks, I felt the blues creeping in. I was at a local watering hole and met this guy who told me about Costa Rica and this website. I studied this website intensly for a couple of days and then bought a ticket to CR. I stayed 6 nights, phucked about 10 different chicas, the good ones twice. Im cured of winter depression. My friends told me I looked better and had a more friendly and relaxed disposition after my trip. Do I feel guilt or remorse, no. I think guilt sucks and it cant be healthy. Raw . To die is easy, its living thats hard. Clint Eastwood

Ruffnutz,

I don't know you but I have read your many trip reports and have enjoyed them. I believe that you are simply thinking too hard. Also, I believe your recent divorce is coming back to haunt you because you are beginning to realize too late that you may have thrown away a long time relationship because of your mongering. That is why I posted before that I feel sorry for those that monger under 40 but definitely under 30. Being in the military doesn't help much. Also, I believe that your post is an unconcious way to justify what you may want to be doing with Eva in the near future. Perhaps you are looking for a little support of why it is okay to hook up with a pro. I will just post a few of my thoughts. I have gotten these thoughts from a long time marriage, mongering for years, being in the military for 20 years where I was somewhat of a marriage counselor as a Legal Officer and leader.

Here, you are with a bunch of guys who live to monger. Too often, we believe the whole world thinks like we do so that it must be true. That is just wrong. Here, you have an environment leading you and this environment will lead to mongering. Pure and simple. The non-mongerers won't come here and tell you how great their lives are. The moral right won't come here. You have put yourself into an environment that does not place must value on relationships of long durations. Does not value any women in the US. Does not value anything except young ladies and the ability to screw them. That is okay and finding happiness is fine. The difficulty comes in when "newbies" come to this site young and learn the bad habits and attitudes that makes relationships almost impossible.

Who wouldn't want to be with a young lady versus a 45-50 year old???? Me and many others, believe it or not!!! We are the ones who understand that mongering is to save a relationship, not to endanger one. We are the ones that understand that the "dance" with these girls is a fantasy and used to overcome our mid-life crisis. We understand that you cannot buy the care and concern and the love that you can get from a long term relationship. You want to get ahead of the game, read up on Male Menopause and you will understand your thoughts right now much better. I challenge any man here to read up on this subject as it will show you that your love for sex with younger girts is just as normal as a female losing interest in sex as she ages.

WE MEN ARE DOGS. Anyway you want to cut it, we are dogs. We will always want to sniff the ladies. We will always want to go with the younger ladies. It is in our jeans and we say so with pride. Accept this but do not let it control your life.

I wish you the best in whatever you do but try to keep some reality thinking in the big head instead of the small one.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

For Newbies and those under 40: Too many times I have read here that gringas become just ugly, unkept, manipulative putas after they reach 40. Please remember that these statements are coming from mostly mongerers that love to monger or those that want to justify mongering by putting the blame on the gringas. Just isn't true. We men in our 40-50's are so opinionated and sure of ourselves that we place our life experiences, especially the negatives ones, on here as FACT instead of opinion. There are 4000 registered here with maybe 75-100 doing all the posting. That does not represent all relationships and gives only one side of it.

Get ahead of the game by actually reading about the mental gymnastics that you either are or will be having in the future. Get in on the leading edge of medical science concerning male menopause.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

Ours is a much different hobby than golf or woodworking.

We choose to monger, they choose to sell their bodies. These things have been posted to death before, but sometimes we get introspective and have to deal with the emotions involved. Selling her body for sex has to do a number on a women's psyche. And I submit that it warps our view of women and relationships. (Doesn't stop me though, home and abroad.)

Ruff, I admire your transparency and candor.

Group hug...

RHM

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Eu gosto de brasileiras...

Ruffnutz's new name on the Sexy Bitch Tour #2 roll call list:

CONFLICTED BITCH!

But don't worry - we'll take care of THAT this weekend.

See ya in paradise on Thursday bro...

GR

FRIEND OF MINE; WELL MORE THAN A FRIEND
FROM BRAZIL CLEANED THIS GUYS HOUSE LAST WEEK

she is 35 attractive front and back and pretty; so after he comes out to talk to her
while her boss is in house talking with wife who is a tica. he meet her in costa rica. they've been married and have daughter together.

He is outside telling my friend he loves the woman; but she says she doesn't love him anymore. now they have to sell the 3 million dollar home
so she can get part of it, and live seperate from his daughter, and he starts to cry.

this happens on different levels constantly; americans feel bad for
people from foreign countries so they give charity. word gets out
and foreign woman are very receptive to americans.

I believe this is why some of the non pros are so friendly.

There is a lesbian attorney from WASH DC; i won't mention her name
but she bought house for her tica girlfriend; when she calls tica says
i love you too much, while winking at her taxi driver boyfriend.

the boyfriend has to leave the house when the attorney comes to town
the attorney also sends her living expenses monthly 500-1000.

I don't mind that some of you have been generous to ticas and working girls; i believe it will come back, but when one of the working girls says
you would make a good husband, which is why she would marry you.
If you have any doubt, why get that bound up together.

The court house in san jose hears cases every week about
women who have cleaned out there american boyfriends
or husbands bank account.

i don't mind if people have an arrangement together, but
when a woman hurts someones heart- makes me want to mention
a story or two-there are many more.....This guy said he feels so stupid.

As long as you're in a committed relationship, growing older together, you're going to regularly face yourself square in the mirror, see yourself and significant other getting old - and eventually sick - and so, what is it you're exactly looking forward to in that scenario? The saying, "I don't want to grow old alone", is something that can happen whether you're in a relationship or not, and I would argue, you may just not grow old quite as fast if you are alone.

Here's why. The thing that kills many long-term relationships is hopelessness and a feeling of, "Is this all there is?" Although I sometimes miss not being in a relationship, for now, it's what the doctor ordered. I had grown so apathetic in the last years of my 18-year marriage, and I don't blame my ex. We're actually on decent terms. But we held each other back in many ways, some subtle and some not so.

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with living alone for a portion of your adult life, and if like me, you were always hitched from college years on, then your middle to later years may be your time. Or in the case of Ruff's situation, a break now from commitment is not something worthy of suicide. And I don't buy he'll never be interested in a one-on-one, or that mongering now means he's doomed to a life of it. When mongering gets old, a shiny, fresh relationship might be exactly what's new.

I'm not sure as I get older I'm going to find the kind of girl I could get serious about, especially in the States. That's a little depressing, but after 2 marriages I'm not going to settle just for the sake of settling.

There's a girl I like who works who usues the "L" word with me often, and she said something similar to the discussion above - that girls do it for money, guys because they're horny. She wants to quit after Carnival and I told her if she did, we could talk more seriously about future possibilities, but in the meantime I reminded her how she enjoyed being with me and I started as a client, so don't give me that bullshit you don't enjoy it sometimes, or have the capacity to. She didn't have much to say.

If sexual addiction is interfering with your life, there's plenty of help available. Otherwise, don't be too hard on yourself. You'll do what's right for yourself now, and in due time, do what's right for you then.

Jazz

Eloquent post and many eloquent replies.

From my experience, I think most guys run in cycles or periods of life (as do women in my opinion). It's part of human growth and experience. I have been single more years than married as an adult, but married twice. I dont regret trying marriage, and I will shock some people who know me when I say I was "chaste" in my two marriages...physically...but not mentally or even emotionally. THere were times while married I definitely wanted someone else...even if for a "one night stand", but for the sake of my committment and word I did not HAVE to act on my emotion or pure sexual urge. Yet...when boredom, or lack of a together direction or need for change sets in...thats when the relationship is truly in danger. WHen that happens, many guys in our culture "suck it up" for the sake of marriage and family or the Ch*ldren...and live double lives. Maybe a majority on this board do this? Others decide "to thine own self be true", and selfishly break off marriages and relationships to pursue all their own wants and needs. Is this terrible? Depends on your morality, culture and mindset. At the end of the day, i believe all this is individual decision, and I can cast no moral judgement on my brother any more than I want him judging me.

I have been in and out of relationships...and in and out of "mongering". THere is a time and season for everything under the sun as it says somewhere. I think this is all part of the human condition and pursuit of experience and life. Some people embrace the dilemma, others run from it and surround themselves with rules, regulations, religion, or other equivalents that can control their "lower natures". Others of us have gone humanistic, hedonistic, narscistic, etc to where no one elses view or desires counts. To me the answer lies somewhere in the middle, with little "black and white".

When I was Ruffnutz' age, I was still dealing with all of this also. While I am now more "settled" in my personal code of behavior and morals, I still periodically try to listen to the world around me and measure my beliefs and behaviors in comparison to the other lives around me. No man is an island, but some of us have allowed our reactions in life to put us on an island mentally or emotionally where we feel "more comfortable" and less challenged...because it's a pain in the ass to think about all of this. Just act...dont think. In this case, I applaude Ruff for thinking and airing his humanity in front of us. In this way we all can learn, grow and share...hopefully bringing out the BEST in each other without inflicting OUR mores or limitations on others. Thus the variety makes up a rainbow world of difference...and if we can embrace the differences between us and our experiences, we can do a lot to promote peace and prosperity in our time...

Ruffnutz

Good thoughts on this topic but there is something you didn't mention or anyone else in their replies---

Man, (especially sex freaks like me) need to Phuck as many women as possible because we are biologically programmed to Phuck as many women as we can to spread our seeds. We can't change our biology or evolution. Society is trying to in the US but it doesn't work. Just look at all the divorces (I know that sex is not the ONLY reason people divorce but it is a major theme I keep hearing from friends and on boards like these).

Man was designed to be with as many women as possible and women who take advantage of this fact to their benefit are SMART (regardless of right or wrong, moral or immoral)!


To try and fight this biological urge / need is what causes problems. Think about it...

Well, I'm not worth trusting at all. Been married 18 years and with the same gal for 20. Been all over the world in my travels and have enjoyed the bounties in most. That said, I'm still with her. We're still best friends and I still provide, but I'm still a man and as you so eloquently pointed out, who do you know that is 100% faithful? At least I can admit my faults. I know its no conciliation prize but I don’t mess around with affairs as such. I've never had one (in the traditional sense) and I don’t plan on one. Mongering to me a business arrangement between the girl and me. I keep it out of town and in most cases out of the country. It's my fantasy life and when I'm done, I go home to my reality. I'm not worth trusting... I've got two lives.

Too deep for me.... Time for a trip to CR!

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"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers" - Maybe Shakespeare was a CRT member?

over half of them are liying, thiefing whores deep down.
that is the way they surive.

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enjoy life