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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2005 7:29 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!

Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2004 10:04 pm
Posts: 2667
Capo,

I feel for you on this one that shit sucks for sure but I am like you. I rather drag out the truth even if it hurts as evenually the truth always comes out to only hurt us worse later!! Don't give up on the pretty ones like this many I have found are the real deal for sure but they are the types that never openly crossed the line into prostitution.

Thanks for sharing this & I believe when you are able to talk openly like this & share it with us it helps to get over it.

Thanks,

Zippy


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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2005 10:10 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Capo,

Thanks for telling that story, bro. I think that everyone truly gets the optimum learning experience from this board when its members tell ALL stories, the good, the bad AND the ugly.

Lesson learned, hopefully for all of us who read it.

Ruffnutz

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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2005 10:48 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Good points all. Just underscores multiple thread statements on this board. Once they cross that line of Pay 4 Play...it's like selling your soul to the "Devil". It's like masterbating the first time and promising you're never going to do it again :shock: . I truly believe many of these women are sincere in wanting out of the biz...BUT...whenever they need something, lesson #1 kicks in and it is just too easy knowing that YOU have what every man wants and would pay for...


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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2005 10:51 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!

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Quote:
whenever they need something, lesson #1 kicks in and it is just too easy knowing that YOU have what every man wants and would pay for...


Yep

dapanz1

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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 12:35 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Capo,
I did not want to sound so harsh. I too appreciate the fact that you shared your experience so that others might learn from it. And I can also certainly feel your pain. At one point or another, for most of us who have been doing this "hobby" long enough, we've met a provider who has touched our hearts more than we probably should have allowed.

I still think you may be a bit too harsh on her yourself. After all, the poor girl needed money and may have resorted to past practices to make some but at least she wasn't hitting YOU up for it in her e-mails. Was she just lining you up for the future financial kill? Maybe, I don't know. Or was her feelings for you at least in part truly heart-felt? I suspect there probably was some genuine feelings there, though I'm not sure actual "True Love" is something that can really be developed over just a TLN for (either of you).

Or is this a case or "once a whore, always a whore"? We tend to believe that and maybe its true. Or perhaps she really was new at this business and still not spoiled beyond all hope. Like Tman says, "many of these women are sincere in wanting out of the biz". He also said once one crosses that line of Pay 4 Play...it's like selling your soul to the "Devil". I'm not so sure that's true. Its more like doing drugs. Do it once and the hook is set. Do it a few times and it becomes harder and harder to give it up. But, how many times does it take before you become hopelessly addicted? And if its true for them, why isn't the same true for us? Once we learn that there are always women who for a few bucks will get our rocks off without all the emotional entanglements, does that mean we'll never be able to be faithful in a normal relationship again? I don't think so.

If this girl is really as green as she said she was, she may have slipped but maybe its not too late IF you give her an alternative. OTOH, the window of opportunity is very short. Since she screwed up and her hopes were dashed, she may have slipped beyond anyone's reach.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 1:45 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!

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Capo,

Some good words of advice out there for you. I think if I was in your shoes I might want to do a little further testing. Hey take her shopping I highly recommend it.

Zippy


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 2:32 am 
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Zippy,

I respectfully disagree. While I agree it might be worth his while to give her another chance, he certainly still has things to think and be concerned about. He shouldn't just give her a "free pass" and act like it never happened, let alone just rush right out and do anything to reward her for her "infidelity" (like immediately treating her to a shopping trip). If they do get together again, they have things to discuss and work out first, like why they each acted as they did and what expectations they have from each other. Secondly, if he's concerned she's motivated in her actions as much by money as by her love for him, treating her financially may not be the best way to test it. If anything that just further enhances the original basis of their relationship with him as a John with dinero. Finally, she's not going to fall for your "shopping test" so soon after failing the "Capo test". She's going to be on her best behavior for a while until she feels she's back in Capo's good graces.

Besides, if this was all about having mad money to buy clothing at the mall, then her claims about having to return to hooking for the money are pretty lame. Perhaps, if she really has serious financial needs that caused her to return to hooking, then he can find a way to address those needs directly (by paying her tuition directly or whatever else it might be) so that she won't have the need to go back to escorting. By paying it directly, he'll KNOW where the money is really going AND the process of spending will seem even less like leaving cash on her stand or rewarding for "gifts" to him. HOWEVER, and this is important, IF he were to do this, he should definitely get some more concrete assurance that she won't return to turning tricks anyway. For example, he could let her know that he will be having friends checking regularly with the various escort agencies to see if she is working anywhere. It doesn't matter so much if he does or how thoroughly he checks. As long as she thinks she might get caught (after all she got caught once), that might be enough for her to stay away from it. Frankly, short of having someone watching her all the time, there's no way he'll ever be completely sure (particularly given their history) and the odds are heavily against this working and their getting past this.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 3:06 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!

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Prolijo,

With all due respect I didn't say give her a free pass by any means,

Let me clarify what I mean by shopping as I thought my first post in this thread would be kept in mind here. :D It is another test to see if she is worthy of a man like Capo. This test shows if she is a giver or a taker which I do believe is super important.

My quote from above or the first page of this thread:
Quote:
One important test I truly believe in is take them shopping & see how they spend money. Do they only buy things for them self first or their other family members first. This tells me all I need to know. Is she a giver or a taker very important!! I HAVE RUN THIS TEST MANY TIMES WITH THE DR TYPE OF LATINAS & MOST ARE TAKERS.

Zippy

PS One added advantage to this test is you don't even have to speak the language to figure this one out as the items do most of the talking.


They way I have done this in the past is tell them hey I need to buy a few items & take them with me to a store that sells many family items & cosmetics. When I am shopping I will watch where their eyes & interest go. Then I will say look I love to watch women shop & say you want to pickup some items for your family or yourself I will buy them within reason. If they just go buy cosmetics for themselves & will be using this with their next victim I would cut her loose.

I hope this helps & I agree with you I wouldn't give a free pass but a little more testing might be fun. :idea: :D :D

Zippy


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 7:45 am 
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I did this one in Rio,

I mentioned to the garota that I needed to buy something (in this case a pair of shorts). If she asks for things for her, dump her.

One girl, took meto the mall and helped me find the pair of shorts. She did not ask for anything. Others were, ok I will go with you, but can you buy me.....HA! Phooool!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 7:53 am 
Ticas ask me for advice!

Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 12:51 am
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Location: Dorado, Puerto Rico
I used to do this in the DR.

FYI I only test the chicas i want to have a second session with or something more.

The first would be i would overpay a chica by 5 dollars, if she tells me "you overpayed me" then shes a keeper.

Second if she asks for taxi money, that would be the bigest mistake a chica would make with me.

Third mistake a chica would do would be order food or drinks without consulting me.

Sometimes i would be short with them 5 bucks, if they freak out about it, then i know she doesnt really have any feelings for me. Only the money.

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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 8:05 am 
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Thanks for sharing your story with the rest of the board. It is very common that guys fall for these girls on a regular basis and it is important that they understand what goes on behind the scenes.

With that said, let's put the shoe on the other foot. Let's say that you met a drop dead 10 on a business trip and had the opportunity to do her with the understanding that no one would find out about. Let's face it, probably 99 out of 100 of the guys on the board would do the chick. In other words, the offer was just to tempting to turn down. Plus, you figure you won't get caught.

My guess is that a very high percentage of women in CR, even married CR women would be tempted to take that offer. Shit, that is practically a new wardrobe for a few hours of sexo.

That is sort of what you did when you offered "home run" money to lure this chica back into the business. The offer was just too good to turn down.

Secondly, at the time, you really were not providing adequate funds to the lady to meet her financial needs.

Thirdly, you relationship had been very short and you really did not get a chance to know her real well.

Lastly, remember, Latinas don't view sex like gringas and see it a lot more like men. Kinda like it's no big deal.

I have a GF in CR and people have asked me if I worry that she may see someone else when I am not in town. My answer will always be the same, I don't worry about what I cannot control
In other words, I don't give it a minutes thought. Just some food for thought the next time you find a nice chica

Remember, there is always another bus coming anyway. You just have to be at the bus stand.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:07 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Well said, KC. Those were a lot of my points from my last post on the first page. It was not really a fair test. Capo made her "an offer she could not refuse" and if the shoe had been on the other foot he probably would have cheated too.

You also raised some points I was alluding to in my last post above. She may have had some real financial needs. In fact, he should be glad she does. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have escorted with him and they wouldn't have even met in the first place. To her credit, she realized the price was just too high and wanted to get out of the business after only 5 times (if you can believe what she says). However, those financial needs that drove her to becoming an escort to begin with hadn't just disappeared and it wasn't like he was funding her in its place (at least not yet or in the way she expected). He shouldn't have been that surprised she had fallen for his trick or so disillusioned with her because of it.

You post, KC, also highlights some things that should be clarified from my post. When I suggested he replace her source of funds and help her out in a larger way, it was on th assumption that he was really ready to take this relationship to the next level. After all, prior to his last trip he was prepared to move her to NY. I wasn't necessarily advocating that was the course he should take. I have doubts about forming relationship with chicas we have known in a professional way for a whole host of reasons beyond the one he thinks he's uncovered. It certainly would be far cheaper and a safer bet to just accept her simple friendship AND the fact that as long as he isn't there supporting her she is going to find ways to support herself which if he concerns huimself with may not be to his liking.

OTOH, if he wanted to build a more serious relationship as he indicated he initially did, then he should realize such relationships require trust and some effort to work through the problems that will undoubtedly be encountered along the way, two things he himself failed when it came to his own test. He should also examine his own motivations of why he was willing to turn aside this "love" as easily as she did. Perhaps, her "love" was based in whole or in part on the financial rewards that Capo could bring or even just the hope that he could rescue her from the life she was beginning to fall into. But, for his part, perhap's Capo's "love" was based in whole or in part on feeling "18 again" and like a "hooked high schooler". That sounds more like lust than love to me. In my view, forming such a strong bond after one such TLN is rarely true love, and knowing someone after just a few weekends and some calls on the phone is inherently superficial.

Capo needs to take a step back, decide what is really going on how he wants to proceed, or if he wants to proceed at all with this girl. Maybe he really is ready to jump in with both feet. Personally, I'd take it a lot slower and keep one foot out the door.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:16 am 
Ticas ask me for advice!
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Gentlemen:
Thanks for all the kind words, and I appreciate the heartfelt feelings from my CRT brothers.

I wanted to clarify a couple of points, as If I had given the 500 page novel version, it would have been to long a read, but I need to point out a couple of things to understand where I was coming from.

Prolijo, it was not one TLN, but 3 consecutive weekends after the TLN, so "I THOUGH" even being a short time span spent I knew this girl pretty well... :roll: YEA I KNOW......

She had a good job selling and doing makeup in a department store in a high end mall. We had many a conversation regarding money, how much she made her expenses everything. I even went and picked her up in the mall, so I knew the job was for real. She went to computer school a couple of nights a week, so she was really on the ball.

She dressed and looked the part of a succesful lady. Her mannerisms, clothes she wore, her nails, toes, hair, the way she carried herself, this was no DR gal.

We talked extensively about her "FEW DATES" with the service and how much she detested them, that she had gone on a few appointments to mee t the client & could not go through with it, how she "COULD NEVER GO BACK TO THE BIZ" "HOW MUCH OF A MISTAKE IT WAS AND PLEASE NEVER HOLD IT AGAINST HER"

I brought up the subject of the service often to the point of obsessed with it, and she was always what I believed open and honest about it and she said the same thing Don't worry about it, I'll never do that again, you have to believe me.... it was hard not to believe her.

Again, I've rebounded as I guess as we all get older things do not effect us a deeply for as long a time period anymore. Good and bad I guess, as we lose the ability to truly deeply feel. But I am fine at this point but thanks.

I felt based on everything that we had discussed, she was fine financially and not in dire straights for the cash not from all the accounts I had listened to. Though she never asked, I had mentioned if she ever needed anything ask me, and we can discuss it... she would always respond no I'm fine, I have a good job, and I don't need money.

I also might add, I am no angel nor did I ever say I would be one, stop mongering, or be true to one soul. I can nor profess that as it would be a downright lie, I ams what I ams.. said a very wise man. :wink:

The Homerun ball, well, I tossed out something as previously stated somewhere in between I can't pass this up and its just another work call. Personally I can not give her another chance as the expierience drained me, and the emails keep on coming, but I have yet to respond 3 weeks later now.

I thank all of you who have contributed so much here, but bottom line in my opinion was based on everything discussed, I still do not feel after everything we had talked about personally that $400.00 bucks was that big a deal, to to a complete 180. Who knows when a better opportunity would have come along down the road, if things had progressed and what her reaction would have been then. I think it was best it worked out early.

Thanks again!

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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:24 am 
Ticas ask me for advice!

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Location: Dorado, Puerto Rico
Prolijo wrote:
Well said, KC. Those were a lot of my points from my last post on the first page. It was not really a fair test. Capo made her "an offer she could not refuse" and if the shoe had been on the other foot he probably would have cheated too.


I think Cappo really didnt want to be with this girl, deep down another serious commitment wasnt what he was looking for but he liked the attention and the feeling of being "loved". This test was only an excuse to let himself feel okay to end it with a girl who he percieved as being in love with him. That he isnt the bad guy. She is.

No offense Cappo, i do apreciate the story but thats just my opinion.

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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:37 am 
Ticas ask me for advice!
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Coqui:
With all due respect Your not even Close..... I JUST DONT TRUST WOMEN!

I am the biggest cynic alive and just do not ever want to be played as a fool.... It happened a long time ago and it wont happen again. I was engaged 25 years ago, but as the time grew closer I felt uneasy about things in my relationship with my fiance. I WAS back then true Blue, the perfect gentlemen. I had her followed for a couple nights by a PI the nights she was "Out with the girls" Instead I got 5 x 7 gloossy's of her with her ex boyfriend going in and out of his apartment every Wed night.

I have a history of mistrust in women, and I felt I was just covering my ass. I was not trying to make myself feel better, just like to know where I stand. As stated, I went there with the intention of spending the weekend with her. 95% OF ME felt that there was no way she would bite on the offer, that 5% room for doubt was what I needed satisfied...

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