www.CostaRicaTicas.com

women want you to be soft and vulnerable, but then disrespect you for it, and resent you... then go off to some jerk to sleep with.... then berate you for being a jerk to them, though they are attracted by it

they are attracted to confidence and energy, and don't like it when we settle into a relationship with a beer in our hand on the couch.....just as we dont like them settling in and getting fat and whiny...

Commanding respect seems to be the prevailing theme in my thoughts about a potential future relationship

If I am getting disrespected, it won't be for long. I discovered I can't have much SELF-respect if I let someone else disrespect or abuse... and I can't live that way... WON'T live that way

And thanks to places like CR, I don't have to allow it, just to get laid.

Truly, Pura Vida.

Solamente

_________________
check yourself before you wreck yourself

deleted

Diego said...


Alot of eloquence and open conversation going on here with Diego, Wit, jazzmusician, et al. While I tried to provide balance with my spiel about why woman, gringas in particular, are not meeting our needs...I obviously still experience all the male perspectives on this issue. I demand respect in my relationships, and if lost, the relationship is over.

Some of the biggest frustrations with women were stated by Diego above...that young women...and even older women...are not logical, loyal or objective. And the key phrase that "Narcissism is having its field day" helps sum up the remnants of the "me generation" and other cultural wonders we have or are living through. In my experience, the biggest barrier to communication and relationships is always being focused on "me". It is hard to be selfish and giving at the same time. Yet that is the challenge... at least to have a balance between give and take. No relationship can last forever on a one sided basis unless the "losing" side is just hopeless and has no ego at all. Proofs of Narcissism are simple...dancing girls performing for "you" while staring at themselves in the mirror...Walking down the airport or office hallway where women coming your direction are looking at their reflection in the mirror or picking at their clothes or jewelry versus at you and others passing by...or people in general who just cant look you in the eye. I would guess that a majority of people spend a LARGE majority of their time looking, thinking and acting at themselves...or inward. The few people who are truly outward and giving or open with themselves stand out like night and day.

So, what am I looking for in a women? Well, I tend to like the strong, independent personalities...but they need to have a soft feminine "cushion" around them. I have low tolerance for whiners, moaners, negetivism, and insecurity. Yet, I tend to like being in the role of "caretaker" and leader...which I think MOST women are looking for. Sure, you get your occaisional feminist nazi type who says they dont need men, arent gay, and will just take care of themselves...but most of these types are delusional and head trips. THen there is that rare find of beauty, intelligence and confidence, blended with just the right amount of dependence and feminity that makes my head turn every time.

Wit and Jazz...I hear your pain brothers. But all I can say is...stay true to yourself, know what you want, and go for it. As the old saying goes, "the heart is a lonely hunter". Sometimes it is a long arduous trail leading to what we want, but if we settle for less...well, we already know where that leads.

In my most down moments, whether in relationships or in failing past businesses, I have a few times had people close to me say "when are you going to settle for a "regular" job...or when are you going to settle down with someone your "own" age? I continue to respond..."I would rather die trying to have what I want and living life on my own terms, than to live settling for less". I think this is the spirit I see in a lot of my brothers here on this board. Life is truly adventurous, the hunt rigorous. If you play it smart, stay in shape, and keep a sense of reality...I think you CAN have what you want. It just comes to you if you let it , you look in the right places, and you are available. At least thats the way I've experienced it through thick and thin. And the same goes for our female counterparts...

Tman wrote:



Thanks for that, T. I needed that.

_________________
"Don't never trust a woman, till she's dead and deep....One day she'll say she loves you, next day she'll throw you on the street."

"...and if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all. I certainly wouldn't..."

Amen, T!

All my frustrations this past year are from having too many good things on my plate, and trying to figure out how to fit them together.

For example today, on the massage table, pondering how the Best Sex of my life -- both Quality and Variety -- came upon me in CR at age 55! (Didn't dwell on those thoughts for too long, however -- it was almost time to flip over, and wouldn't want to shock the straight massage lady.)

And then I let myself start thinking about going past one-week visits, and enlarging next November's CR visit into an "Escape the Holidays" Ticapalooza! (TM) and stretch it past Christmas and the darkest miserablest time of year for me here, and start phasing into that ultimate goal of half the year in each place.

Found something good; want MORE of it!

First off I want to start by saying that women are different than men. On all levels. We are equaly human and it stops there. In Canada they just discovered that to accomplish the same task men and women use different parts of their brains. We all know the physical differences so I will not list, We all know the behavariol differences, so I will not list. Now It is proven that we think differently.

Is it a great surprise?

Women got the vote, Drugs, alcohol and prostitution were made ilegal. I beleive that we evoled from the caves and that alot of our responces come from hundreds of thousands of years. They have found phermones and we like to smell their butts. And they like to smell our sweat. To say these things makes women mad because it means we are alot like the animals and Manmals around us. But sceince keeps proving it true.

If you want to experince different women and have a family then convert to Islam. You can have up to 4 wifes, as many conubines and slave girls as you can afford. Became a Shite and you can have temporary marriages. Keep two or three to have Ch*ldren with and arrange to marry another one for a month or two. It is legal in 27 countrys. 1/5 of the world still lives like this.

Or you can make gay female bishops in the church of england and destroy that church. The baptist just quit ordaining women. Why?

There is no religion on the face of this earth that has women leaders.
Catholic Preist
buddist Monks
Hindu
conservative Jews rabi's
Communist , Mao lenin stalin

We all have mothers. They teach us about women. Why are women not the rulers. We can not survive without them. In todays femminism I would be yelled out of the room. But why are these not good ?'s to ask.

Because they point out obvious truths.

Do I love women. yes! I tried men and it ain't me. Did I want to reveal that? No, but I am trying to make a point.

What do women want?
What do men want?

I think all humans should be free to make choices. I think what you do in your own bedroom is your own bussiness. I think drugs should be decriminalized. I think you should be judged by your actions. I think it is obvious that women are differnt. That there should be laws that reflect these differences. I think women and Ch*ldren should go first. It ain't fair, but it is what I think.

Hey Redman you need not turn to Islam to have more than 1 wife, the Mormons got it going on right here in Utah, yee ha...

On a more serious note, a lot of guys are saying that divorce law in the US is unfair, but I would have to disagree. It is only unfair when the two sides bring vastly unequal gifts to the table. Somehow we seem to assume that the woman will have no income, then alimony and Ch*ld support are killers, but if you married someone who was an economic equal, the divorce laws work quite well.

Income and credit rating are now on my list of potential partner qualifications. Women want equality. Great! I think I'll quit my job and find me a sugar mamma. Then if things go bad I can be the one to collect.

_________________
Tonka. (Still Alive and kicking.)

I've decided after all this reading that I don't know wtf I want. When I started this thread, I was in the final throes of Rio, had stayed with a girl in Belo Horizonte and later saw her "working" at Help (guy in tow), struck out with 2 civilian girls, not because they didn't like me but because circumstances are rough with 5000 miles between us - not to mention they know my wanton ways - and I was interested in more than only sex toward the end, my normal M.O. as trips wind down. I also connected with a few program girls and it allowed me to see their humanity and lovliness, despite their usual "trickery".

One of the girls was interested in more than just money because otherwise she wouldn't have asked me to go to the gym (academia) with her, or have spent so much time with me for only 150R (like all night and part of each day), when she could have made 400R in 2 hours at Help. And I wasn't just into being with her for the sex - even though it was awesome - because I know enough Portuguese, and she English, that we communicated fine and enjoyed it.

It's so easy to just "be" with some of these girls. And when both parties like more than just money and sex, well, it's easy to get addicted and attached. They do too. It's not a one-way street. If you ask most any of those girls - even the really hot ones - if they'll be with you and phuck you only - they'll be on board, IF.....IF you pay their bills. Their argument is if not you, who? So they must work, like it or not. It almost sounds reasonable, so I must be going off the deep end. But a civilian girl would never make that a prerequisite.

It got me thinking that this hobby life is almost real, but not quite. "Almost" because money and sex are not the ONLY thing going, but "not quite" because there are too many women, too much temptation, and the opportunities are not "normal" by usual measures. But after a while, it starts feeling normal.

More and more women work IMHO. I've got two friends in Miami who used to work a lot. Now one doesn't at all, is unhappily married and is in sales. The other also used to, but works a regular job and has 2 guys that prop her up. But no more running to strangers for her. If you met these girls, you would not for an instant think they ever worked. Even though I don't phuck either of them any more, they're cool, cool to hang out with. Another girl, 20, is black and Asian, and totally exotic looking. She is so much fun. Go to the clubs here and most any girl is hireable or will go with you for nothing. The lines are blurred between working girl and normal girl. "Working" is almost becoming "normal."

I mention this because it almost doesn't matter if a girl works, works a little, used to work, tried working, or thought about working. I agree there is a change once they accept money, but my theseis is their basic human desires, which go beyond money, are still there, just as our desires include more than just the sex. We're so conditioned to think the girl's job is to "trick" us, that we are cynical in the extreme. But trust me, deep down these girls want love as much as civilian girls and as much as any guy. They just make it their job not to allow themselves to get too involved, lest they too are "tricked".

Men want sex, women want money? True, but we want a whole lot more, too. There's a girl in Miami, 26, Colombiana, whom I could phuck if I offered her something. We go way back when I p4p'd her, but now it's different. She talks about moving in together, traveling together...but one thing is missing. She won't kiss me. She's not attracted to me physically, but she loves how I cook and wants to be good friends. If sex was all I wanted, I'd have no problem with p4ping her again. As it is, I never want sex with her, even though she's phucking hot. I just want her to be attracted to me, but it will never happen. When a woman decides you're not her type in that way, there's zero you can do to change it. A few months back, the same happened, but in reverse. Instead, this other gal liked me, but this time she wasn't my type.

What we want is complicated, but as Tman says, you gotta shoot high. Sooner or later, when you're not even looking, you'll be blindsided and meet the perfect girl for you, at least for a while. Then you have to decide if that's what you really want.

So many decisions...

_________________
"Don't never trust a woman, till she's dead and deep....One day she'll say she loves you, next day she'll throw you on the street."

"...and if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all. I certainly wouldn't..."

Jazz...I totally follow you here. But I would also suggest that you could take the same "dilemma" to civilian, non P4P girls...

Most common people...not just females...are heavily influenced or lives driven by the pursuit of money, power and recognition. We all respond to that to some degree. Many "civilian" girls are looking to marry well, be reasonably secure, and have a family. But...they are more cynical than they used to be about us guys and either our ability to maintain our economic standards, or to be faithful. They too are protective of their emotions and sensuality in most cases until they "know" they have the right guy. So in my opinion, this scenario exists on both sides of the playing field...regular GF or P4P. Personally I just feel the reward is greater if you can "get over the edge" with a regular versus pro girl. I also believe MOST guys dont want long term relationship with a pro.

The most obvious truth in your post is...its "ladies choice". I have always believed the girls pick us versus vice versa. So...the magic is actually making OURSELVES desireable to THEM even though it may seem that they spend much more time trying to get OUR attention. Initially they do this for OUR benefit and get our Gonads going. Subconsciously, I think many of them are doing themselves up to get our "financial" contribution or stability.

The nice thing for US is that they judge us in general more for a balance of internal and external qualities...where we tend to judge them 90% on their LOOKS. For them, if we are romantic, treat them special, have a sense of humor, and can talk to them...they are "in love", at least for a while. For many of us, we are in love if A: they are only an image that we cannot touch or imagine them being with us, or B: if they give the best head, look HOT, and treat us like a king, almost to the point of servitude.
They are looking for art while we are looking for sex. To hunt successfully, we need to bridge that gap somehow...

Tman, Jazz.

That is my point about hundreds of thousands of years to get here. They have found skulls and DNA going back along time. Two hundred years ago, a short time. Half the babys were dead by 5 years. Wars wiped out hole areas, Desease killed so many. Still does in Africa. We have something called indorfines that are released so we don't feel pain. More in males than females. That enables us to watch a lion eat us. Or see our arm cut off and still function. Or have a shark eating us and fight it. Women respond differently. This comes from 1 million years of evolution. Cilvilization is something new to us. Look at what the Japs did to the Chinese. Or Hittler to the Jews. The Greeks thought they had reached the enlightened age. Then the Romans.

We humans are driven by stuff in our genes that goes to our survival as a speceis. We have done good compared to the rest. We have walked on the moon. Yet there are enough nukes to destroy the planet.

It is in us in school yards, and for the rest of our lives. They are looking for a nest to lay their eggs. In our speceis we males build the nest. This all goes on below the conseince level. Instinct. That is what is great about Americia. For the first time in history the comon man is educated and can think and talk about this stuff. That still has not happened on half this planet. Half this planet is still trying to figure out where dinner is coming from. That is all they have to think about. Love, Passion, fullfillment is something only the rich think about.

I said all this to agree with you guys that there is some wiring or programing in all of us men and women. That controls about 80% of our behaviour. I guess the other 20% is called Manners.

Jazz, you succinctly expressed the very dilemma I was facing with my Rio garota (and women in general).

Tman, as I mentioned earlier in this thread, my main problem in the USA nowadays for us "over 40" types is the market of desireable women has shrunk so much I'm not sure the imbalance can ever be rectified.

As I see it, the only alternatives for me are to either find one I can import or just keep traveling until I can retire in Latin America.

If I continue to travel I'll be in the same rut that compelled me to travel to Cali in 1999 and import a wife. That will also make it much harder to get out of the financial hole I've created for myself.

But I'll also have to travel if I want to find one to import.

If I stay home I'll only exacerbate the damage I've already done to my right shoulder (use your imagination).

It's always one dilemma or another.

Redman, you are just way too deep for me. I'm just trying to find some love and happiness, I can't speak for the rest of the human species.

I do know one thing, I don't have any need or desire to reproduce even though taking that position is what cost me my marriage to La Caleña.

This has been a very interesting thread. I wonder if anyone else has been following it?

Great thread. I have been married 3 times to good women. Great sex....yes everything we look for in the p4p girls but it just never worked for me. Strange as it may seem I never felt truly loved by them. No, not what your thinking.....my career had many ups and downs and #3 made way, way more than I. First 2 became mothers of my Ch*ldren and did an excellent job as Mothers and nurturers. It was always me.....I am way too much of a romantic.
I have had 2 retationships with providers in my life; successful and very fullfilling. Both moved on with their life in other states. Truly believe I am not a long term guy......a good, caring lover; great friend and companion but not for the long haul. My last 2 wifes understood this but felt "they would change me" No way.
I have great fun with the working girls because we all know it is not for the long haul......they see it right away. A few times my openness to experiences caused me to see into their heart and then no longer saw what WAS but what COULD be which is a recipe for pain. I discount the pain as merely the price paid for the high.
Like I said, way toooooo romantic. My 2nd wife said that when I die there will be many beautiful women, in veils, impeccably dressed paying their last respects. I do not feel this is an ego stroke at all nor a good thing but probably true.