www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Gringo marriage / Unrealistic expectations

In response to the marraige article: [ http://www.welovecostarica.com/members/ ... a_Rica.cfm ]

Maybe marriages get in trouble in Costa Rica because Ticos/Ticas live a realistic lifestyle.

The occasional affair reminds men what they have at home causing them to value their partner. However it may also cause them to realize what a raw deal they have. This all goes the same for women too, so all you ladies that love to play the inequity card can rest assure that I recognize your right to happiness and your ability to be unfaithful. As a man, and a man that is proud to be a man, I can write only from the male experience.

People in Costa Rica are less likely to divorce over an affair. Ticas are more human and playful. As one Tico I know put it, “men (people) need to live. Why destroy a family over infidelity?” Life is very short and most gringas are very selfish and would rather have their husbands sexually frustrated than let them have their pleasures; you see their “love” is about them, it’s not about caring for their spouse. An over important sense-of-self makes most gringas feel entitled to own a man’s soul. Most girls I have dated fall into the same category: under accomplished and over confident for the huge ego they support.

The author is quick to point out that Ticas are looking for a pension of $500 a month but fails to point out that gringas want it all. Ticas appreciate limited sponsorship, and recognize that a fair exchange helps all.

Ticas are playful and enjoy dating and having sex during their dates. They are more human and see sex as a normal activity instead of something you have to sell your soul over.

As the author said “I lost half my income when my husband died.” Wasn’t it “their” income? It leads to the old saying of women see what is theirs as theirs and what is yours as theirs.

Many men want to stay with their wives, but they also want what makes them happy. If they do not get what makes them happy, they end of compromising their marriage and their happiness. Costa Rica can make many men reexamine their marriage, and with good reason

“Is your marriage healthy?” Is it really worth giving up your freedom and money to be unhappily married to a person with unrealistic expectations about fidelity and control?

Men think it’s below them to acknowledge the double standard that goes on all around them regarding what one sex can do to another. They think it offends their masculinity to denounce females for physical violence. They need to wake and look around at how women use the law to steal property and Ch*ldren and some gringa women living in Costa Rica suggest that only Ticas would do such a thing as marry for a pension.

Now lets get it right here, first of all marrying for security has been around a lot longer than marrying for “intuitive love.” Some women and even some men say its appalling for a man in his 50s or 60’s to be seen with a twenty something year old on his arm

Really?

I guess it is if you buy into what many were programmed with as a Ch*ld. But if you examine relationships, you will see like everything else in life it is a trade off. Actually, it is a more realistic trade off. Girl is young and beautiful / guy is wealthy and experienced. Girl looks at it as “well after he is dead, I inherit the money to share with my K*ds or my next husband.” What did she bring to the table: looks, and the charm of youth. What did he bring to the table: power. Henry Kissinger didn’t have beautiful lovers because of his looks. He used the ultimate aphrodisiac: Power. Women love it, and so do men. It’s natural to be attracted to the powerful. And money, wisdom and connection make up power.

Men see it as “I get to be next to someone that I love having sex with and that I can spoil and enjoy.”

You see this all works if you look at it realistically, that is that men and women are built differently. Face it, if it wasn’t for the sex, who would you rather spend time with, a man or a woman. Ever notice how people divide into groups at social events? That is because it is normal: men and men, and women and women have more in common. Period.

They can have marriages in which they pretend to live up to some standard that was laid out for them, but if the truth be told, the majority of people would rather live in their own homes and share their lives with their spouse who lives next door with frequent sleep over privileges. The rest of the time, they would rather do what they want when they want. Many of the wealthy are now doing exactly this: Side by side separate homes where the occupants are married to each other.

When men come to Costa Rica and see that women here are accessible because they are realistic, true and fair about relationships and sex, it is appealing to them. So they get Tica girlfriends.

More realistic: Yes, most Tica that are younger and date older gringos have their young bucks too. Gringos of age know this and their sponsorships of the young mates do not exclude that, therefore it is more realistic.

More true: When both parties enter into an agreement that does not limit their freedom there is less likelihood of misrepresenting their desires.

More fair: Ticas know that men like a variety of partners. You can have a good relationship with a Tica that actually builds a friendship by helping each other out. Many Ticos know about their girlfriend’s Gringo and many actually encourage the relationship because of the financial stability it brings to the women, thus relieving their financial burden. So it’s all more or less upfront, although there is the usual conniving, women basically know how much the gringo will provide daily or weekly.

Gringas don’t do fair, they want it all – soul included. This leads to the old saying “you don’t pay women for sex, you pay them to leave after sex.”

The point being that the books are balanced. Gringa women rarely close the book, unless you are a young stud. Your balance, according to them, is rarely paid off.

So there you have it from a single male perspective regarding why your marriage may be in trouble in Costa Rica: Costa Rica living exposes that the expectation of gringo marriage is unrealistic.

Thanks for sharing, Versatile. We'd known you for jokes--you are obviously much deeper than that. THE Thread of this young year.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

Thanks for the acclaim although i don't deserve it. I stole it from another forum! lol

I take the position that anybody that brings stuff to us from whatever source derived gets the Kudos.

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

Hey Jazz, I just saw your PM. Did you get my replies? Let me know as it seems that is only going to my outbox rather than the sent. Wish I had read your PM earlier.

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Go Dolphins!!!

How cute! A latino puppy wants to educate this old gringo dog on these matters. The amusement continues. Now, sit tranquilo while I 'splain you a few things....

Try as you might, you cannot wiggle free from the negative connotations of the term "machista". Within your culture and some others, it is tolerated, although I get the impression that Ticas are less and less inclined to put up with it as time goes by. One hopes for progress.

I am an atheist. I don't waste time with fairy tales and I don't moralize on others' behavior. I just observe consequences.

Speaking of consequences: being robbed, beaten, broke, humiliated and abandoned are not exactly great arguments in support of your life style. I managed to have my youthful flings without suffering any of those things. The old adage "All things to moderation" comes to mind.

And I do not disparage your behavior at all as long as it harms nobody else but you. However, we part philosophical company as soon as someone is hurt, especially if it is an abandoned mother and Ch*ld. Otherwise, be as hedonistic as your body and the law will permit. One day, when you are an old, salty dog, you may have matured to the point where you see the pointlessness or your old body will simply not let you continue or your sense of dignity will halt behavior which invites public ridicule.

If none of these things happen, go ahead and continue charging through life, a merry old clown. If it makes you happy, who cares what others think or feel? That is your philosophy right now and it seems to make you happy. But my experience tells me there is always a bill to pay...sooner or later.



From: Don Diego:

OK Sprite, my Indian name for you will be “One Who Hopes”

You choose to hate me now – I get it and don’y ya worry none. Many a “once a man” better than you cannot dare face his corroding masculinity in the mirror. The thing that upsets them is they have lost the truth in their heart about what a man is supposed to be and how they are supposed to behave. The fact that to be a man means hardship, and the fact that they want to lay with their little puppy brethren nursing at their mommy’s teat, makes them suffer. The idea that you have to earn your place in the brotherhood of man is simply too much for most emasculated males. Sprite are you one of them. Tell me honestly, do you wear Dockers and your chick where’s the leather. Make a leather clothes count and tell me who has the most skin.

Gringo marriages suffer from this. The women thinks it is “cute” (nice manly word) when men (and I use the word looselys, more like eunuchs) are made to hand in their colors (that’s a biker terms for the efems out there).

Pop psychologists will tell you how to behave, what a woman wants (who gives a crap, - I know what they will get), but what they miss is that life should not be a passionless march through the mundane. The negative consequences I have endured were from expending physical, mental and financial risk capital. But dearest One Who Hopes, as you can tell I have enough incredible experiences to write one of these little ditties daily. How thick is your autobiography? The difference among you and me and our doghood is that I am a wise, experienced puppy. You are an old dog with a “where’s the beef” bio.

I have lost a lot. I have not however, lost my belief in God, people or living hard, doing what men do: not taking the easy way.

I know plenty of poor people that have never lost a dime. Whether they are rich in deeds, knowledge or money, I know not one rich person that has not suffered significant loss. How much have you lost OWH?

This thread connects to the “what’s holding you back” thread I just finished reading where someone said it’s a matter of people “not knowing themselves” that holds them back.

Well it’s the same thing about Gringo marriages. Latinos know themselves. They do not buy into the “there is something wrong with men” crap.

Gringos do not want to fulfill their masculinity. To understand what it means to be the provider, leader and family figure head. To be the patron!

This void is nicely filled by the women in their life. So the cat starts teaching the dog how to purr.

Do you think the other cats what to hear a dog purr. Publically they commend him and say how “cute” (eventually the dogs purr the same feminine words). Privately they mock him.

Same with the other dogs. “Hey boys did you hear that dog purring the other day? “yeah I did and he gets to hang out with the others kittys.” He might fit in nicely with the other pu*sy cats but don’t anyone invite him for cigars and rum in the clubhouse. What a pu*sy (cat).”

What I love about the Latino cultural, as opposed to the effeminate Gringo culture, is that Friday night is boys night out. Oh we still go home to our wives and family, spoil them with support, but we do not give up our social characteristics, our male values, for a “relationship” with a woman. You know what has replaced boys night out in the US “women’s night out!” Do I need to further make my point?

Brotherhood exists here. In the US, the effeminates have killed it. You are supposed to want to hang out with your woman. What a joke. Sure a romantic date out, etc etc, but going to a soccer match with your woman. Doing guy things with your woman? Give me a break. All you dogs that purr have skewed things and no wonder there is such unrealistic expectation in Gringo marriages.

You have handed over the keys to your masculinity. Each time you cave to the pressure of the little dicktator, you gain a good night’s sleep – but lose respect. That has had an accumulative effect on your brothers and has now allowed the whole society to go gay and feminine. You can’t blame the woman for taking what they can get. You have to blame the “men” for giving up. And you efems have given up. And now you want the Latinos to give it up. Probably so you won’t feel so bad for your next mirror check.

You think my philandering is decadent. You “men” are rotting the foundation of the new Rome. You are decaying the masculinity the makes cultures great. You weaken the fighters. The protectors and the brotherhood that men value so much that they risk their lives for it.

Funny thing is the women don’t really want you to be this way. You know, it’s like chick talk. Say this, mean that.

Yeah yeah chick talk is very cute (there is that effeminate word again), but just like chick talk, what women say they want and what they yearn for (what they want in their hearts, not minds) is completely different.

They want a badass Rottweiler that unleashes the Wildman. Not a sex on demand human vibrator that purrs like a pu*sy. They want a leader they can be proud of, not someone who runs to mommy when the guys next door intimidates them. Think about it. From a mans point of view do you want a big muscle bound woman to lay in the grass? They want effeminate men about as much as we want masculine women. But men don’t want to pay the price, do what men do. They would rather take the easy way out and cower – like women.

Sprite ol chum. I realize you tried to rally your masculinity on the last post, but although you get Brownie points, it illustrates that your comprehension and then response comes from one who sports the yin genitalia. You don’t make the team, but keep trying. You owe it to your woman… right? (wrong). You owe it to yourself and your K*ds.

Try developing a brotherhood. Hang out with real men that are risk takers, not that lame bunch who hang out in groups passing the talking stick. Morons. To be a man and command respect of women and their admiration and their lust and love, you have to be brave. That means taking the path of resistance. Sporting the non-pussy genitalia. Once you have this right, renegotiate your soul with the wifey and then you will be free to join a brotherhood. Your only hope as of today will be to limp (all puns intended) along in the sisterhood that is running the effeminate nation you call home “yes dear” home.

BTW I have gotten two private messages that concur with my herculean macho stance. I guess some woman are starting to realize that the new pussyhood of men is bad for their sons, our nations and the frequency and quality of their orgasms. To those women I say you have risen above the self serving and are true patriots – and deserve a ride on Don Diego’s Big Boat!