www.CostaRicaTicas.com

http://menshealth.about.com/od/sexualhe ... dictio.htm

Another thread about excuses for cheating morphed into a question about whether to tell one's significant other about the need for sex with others or not. I believe that the more basic question is as below.

Society mostly believes that men have a choice in controlling their sexual needs. Much like a significant part of our society believing that gays and lesbians have a choice in their sexual orientation.

So, is the male condition as it relates to sex and the need for it something that is in our jeans (choice) or genes (trait)???

My belief, just like my belief in the gay/lesbian question, is that it is absolutely in the GENES (TRAITS) category and I submit for your consideration the following information:

1) Bill Clinton, Craig from Minnesota, Spitzer of New York, and many other high powered men who just had to have sex in spite of the many potential problems that could and did arise.

2) Priest, clergy and other religious men who could not keep their urges from potentially devastating their lives on this earth and in the after life.

3) Sexual Predators who simply cannot control the urges and continue to abuse others after knowing of the problem and the backlash to them.

4) Rapist: Yes, studies indicate that rape is not a sex event as much as it is a power event, however, I submit that a rapist sex drive may be driven to rape because they like the rough sex part as many that do not resort to rape pay prostitutes to do.

5) The amount of porn purchased by the males around the world.

6) The millions of men that are on websites such as this to live the sex part of their character out.

7) Helen of Troy and the fact that many wars have been fought over women and sex.

The constant battle for men to show their sexual prowess.

Males are superbly intelligent and have ruled this world in one fashion or another forever. It is illogical and beyond belief that we males would put ourselves through all the negative that society has to offer and the potential of destroying of our lives and our family to have sex and fulfill the need within us.

Back to the original question. Do I believe that you should tell your significant other about the sexual need or experience?? No, absolutely no, and again, no, no, no!!!!! I look at the overall picture. If we have 5000 hidden (from their families) mongerers on here and, if each one told their spouses about their adventures, perhaps 70% would get a divorce. The 70% figure actually came from my wife and is her opinion. If all 5000 continue to keep it secret, perhaps 40% (my wife's figure) will get divorced after having been caught or for other reasons. Perhaps, 1500 marriages would be saved.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

I'll jump in here, Dave. I think the answer is in nature (our nature).

Men are "programmed" by nature to seek out the best specimen for breeding. Our focus is on the chase, capture and breeding of as many "best specimens" as possible. After the deed is done, we are ready for the next pursuit. (See the Lion, Bull Elk, Cape Buffalo, etc. Alpha males breed the herd.)

Women are "programmed" to seek the best provider (security). Their focus is on the nest and raising the resulting offspring in safety.


The win-win solution is to provide security to the extent that the woman knows that sex is sex and a "relationship" is so much more than just sex that the man's need for alternate sexual interests is tolerated or even embraced. She wants her man happy #1, just as he wants her happy #1. She will not deny him anything that makes him happy, as long as it is not seen as a threat to her security. Guys, you can't spend too much time letting her know that her position is secure regardless of who's head is bobbing up and down in your crotch.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Great response. I agree that nature/genes/trait is the reason for it and I agree with the statement above. I believe, as I mentioned in another thread, that my wife was able to be okay with my mongering because I was able to explain the differences over time and she was able to accept it.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

There are evolutionary reasons why we act the way we do. Humans like to think of ourselves as in a higher order from other animals but the same genetic impulses that drove the cave man drive us. Yes we have free will but even that responds to countless stimuli from the five senses to the point that we can never really know to what extent our choices are simply the result of free will or genetic programming.
In women the psychology of sex is much more complicated. Since its such a huge energy and time committment for women to birth and raise K*ds they tend to be far more selective in their process of choosing a mate. However there is a dark side to this. The type of guy women like to marry and they type they have animal lust for are not often embodied in the same person. The ultimate for a woman is to get a good provider, weak beta male who is good with K*ds to provide the security and on the side she sleeps with an alpha male for the good genes and good sex and gets the schmuck to raise the K*ds.
With the modern paternity testing that is being done I have heard estimates of 10 to 15 percent of men are raising K*ds who they believe to be their own but its the alpha male that mommy had a wild night with.
Yes its ugly and uncomfortable for some to hear but there is at least some truth to it.

_________________
I believe in moderation in everything except excess.
I phuck 'em just to see the look on their face.
Klatu, berata, nicto.

OMG , I voted and then saw the results, 11 of 11 100%!!!!!

http://www.tmz.com/ Tiger Woods Admits Transgressions

Just another individual supporting my belief that we men simply have no choice in our horndogging.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

I concur with Pacifica55, with one caveat. I think that after time, after the offspring from that original sexual encounter is old enough to fend for itself somewhat, even the female is motivated to start looking for another male..something like the "seven year itch".
CH

Some issues arise …
1 - Males are superbly intelligent – I disagree. We are rule by our dicks and women have us clearly beat on this one
2 – You are asking a bunch of addicts if the addiction is not their fault
3 - Perhaps, 1500 marriages would be saved – I disagree. 1500 lives will be saved.

Great post, just too bad we cannot hear comments from the woman side of view.

_________________
Hit them fast, Hit them hard and NEXT!
A good chica is like a good carpenter - No wood gets wasted!!!

Absolutely NATURE! Of course there are norms and standard deviations to the norms but for the alpha male it is biological and I have yet to read any unbiased scientific literature or studies that prove otherwise.

I have studied this for many years and come to the same conclusion every time I look at the data. Males, however are not the only ones. There are alpha females as well. Yes, the alpha female depending on where she falls may be a deviation point or two off the true female median but they do exist and I'm pretty sure we have all met one of two of them in our day.

Biologically speaking it makes no sense for a male to be monogamous and it makes perfect sense that the female would be more inclined to be. I could go on and on and bore you all to death but........ I won't.

KenLee & that is mis dos centavos

I voted trait and I don't need any scientific data although all your statements are correct. To me, it is common sense. Just today, while working at my restaurant for lunch, I must have mind phucked at least 15 girls today, all different races. Guess I am a sex addict. Oh well, (as I have another tab in this window searching out prices for flights to SJ).

Dean

_________________
my first wingman sent me this, how true

" most of the girls down here, lie as a self defense mechanism and to not have to face the truth, thinking most men couldn't accept them knowing the whole truth. Simpler, they may just want men to think they are as perfect as they want to appear to them, trying to hide what they consider to be the ugly truth about themselves. And I may be reading more into it than is there, but I do believe they consider the basis of the lies to be justified."