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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:23 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Location: Escazu, Costa Rica
Jazz....your Rio is my Costa Rica. I am older than you,so therefore along with all it's negatives,age allows me to live the good life here without needing gainful employment.For me,CR has been the Utopia that I have spent my whole life looking for. I.also,have been known to have pretty naked chicas roaming around my house,in my pool,and in my jaccuzzi. I promise you that I love each and every one of them dearly. I also love the fact that when I prefer that they leave,it's a simple thing to do. I really enjoy being alone,except when I don't feel like being alone. I have no fear of living alone. After 2 marraiges that ended up very badly,I've learned to enjoy my life without stress. When I want company,I can either have naked chicas,or the company of a lot of great guys that I have met thru CRT. (the company of the guys is certainly cheaper BUT usually not as much fun.) I am fortunate enough to have a few chicas that I have been seeing on a regular basis for 2-3 years so I don't feel the emptyness in my P4P relationships that some talk about. Unlike my marraiges,I have been able to stay friends with many DR chicas that I no longer have a sexual relationship with. TMan talks about how he has the perfect combination of a committed relationship and the ability to P4P when he feels like it. I'm happy for him that he is able to find pleasure in doing both. Unfortunately for me,that's what I did while I was in both of my unhappy marraiges. I would seek out what was missing from my marraige by having girlfriends. If I were to have a serious relationship at this point in my life,I would rather be monogomous,and I believe I'm not capable.

Once you have tasted the fruit that our society considers forbiden,it is difficult the live the life that is expected.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:51 pm 
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Sailor wrote:
Some qualities I have tried to keep in mind when meeting these women:
- best probabilities with no more than 12-14 year age difference
- educated and intelligent
- interesting job or at least motivated to work
- stable family or at least non-demanding
- happy in life


Congrats Sailor!

Nice to hear from somebody who seems to have gotten the "novia" thing right for a change...

And congrats as well to VB. If you've made the decision to monger full time, the supposed "hollowness" can be balanced out by having deeper connections with a few chicas that you have good chemistry with, as long as neither party confuses what is essentially still a business relationship with love.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:13 pm 
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I really think I just dumb lucked out!

Happy as a clam!

Yes I know it is only like 2 years - the reason I think things are working is 1 thing - mindset

We both share a mindset to wake up each day and see how we can both contribute to the other being happy, not "what is in it for me?"


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:21 pm 
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Can't believe I missed this thread??? :? Paco, staple a $100 bill to your forehead :D

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Almost legally single again! Voy a Colombia otra vece!!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 10:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2003 9:49 pm
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Location: Sabana Oeste, Costa Rica
Almost like Hand Solo, I kind of just dumb lucked out too. While it's true she did work in a massage place for some 6 months, she has been out of that life for 2 and a half years now. She went to school, learned a skill and English and now has a good job. I see her 2 or 3 nights a week and yes, I do give her money for various things now and then but it's not really a P4P situation. Our next step will most likley involve her moving in. I have met the family and often include them in weekend outings.
Very happy with just the one and really don't yearn for another relationship or encounter.
LVSteve

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:22 pm 
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Location: Medellin, Colombia
Jazz said
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Even if it's your goal, most 40-year plus couples look pretty bad; miserable, in fact. But I won't deny that going solo is not always a state of bliss, either
...

Sorry...getting back to this thread late because of my Colombia trip.

Just to qualify Jazz...are you saying 40 yr relationships, or relationships after you are 40? I do have to say I have seen some relationships i admire in both categories...but you are correct...not too many. Yet...I think there is an instinct in many of us to want that long term compatibility. I dont think it a bad goal...but in LatAm it is difficult to imagine total and constant monogamy...even in the best of relationships. But as I mentioned before, I dont think it has to be a black and white deal of monogamy or P4P like LVBob states. Most of the cultures in the world besides ours gives men a lot of leeway to give outlet to their sexual appetites. And in many of those instances, it does not affect or threaten the domestic family and marriage. Perhaps one could argue it enhances.

I can attest to that this week. I have had fun with my wingmen here in Colombia...but...I am now anxious to get home to my woman. If anything, I have a renewed appreciation for her after these trips. Its only if you are in a relation with someone you dont miss that I would question the value of that relationship. As I have been telling my girl...who has been telling me how much she misses me and cant sleep well when I'm gone...its GOOD to miss someone. I'm not talking about "loneliness" here. I'm talking about missing that particular person. That is what many of us want in our personal lives I think. For me that should be a norm...not acception. And I think that is what some of the "M-men" are describing in this and other threads.

Good conversation...

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 1:53 am 
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H.S. Two years??? Things better be good at two years!!!

Tman - I meant couples who are together a lifetime. One could argue they beat the odds, proving that humans can do it, but they never look terribly happy to me. My folks were together 45 years until my dad died, and my mother never remarried. Is that shit still happening?

V.B. - I think the "knowing" girls over time saves it for you. I, too, have known girls for years, seen them get hooked up with novios, and seen it come apart. Some I still see, and some I don't. You mentioned a "stress-free" life in CR. I believe that is entirely possible, having tasted it on my Brazil adventure. As I mentioned, I was happy every day there. But in the States, going solo is a different animal. Still, I've been solo 3 years and I'm learning how to do it better every day. I actually have some possibilities that could develop over the next year or two, but like you, I'd rather be monogomous if I get hitched. I got tired of sneaking around when I was married. But at this point, monogomy is a tall order, for me as well. Maybe yes, maybe no, when it comes to a committed relationship. That's just how it has to be for now.

In the meantime, let me dial up American Airlines, and Avianca. Damn, $370 to Cali.... I also gotta make the CR scene again! It's been a while, and I miss the DR hang and the cheese cake at the News Cafe!

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"...and if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all. I certainly wouldn't..."


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:35 am 
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Quote:
like LVBob states


what sort of frankenstein would that be? :lol:


next thing you know, we'd have monsters like El Ciercus running around.

the horror

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:32 pm 
Looking for the delete option, sorry


Last edited by Casper on Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:33 pm 
This is a great thread. THANKS. Many great perspectives.

However

I have a good Hawaiian brother that has the best philosophy of all.

Simply: “I’m just here for the honeymoon”

Perfect in its simplicity.

The first instant of bitching, complaining, or otherwise annoying behavior.

“Hey, this is just working out, we should just be friends.”

No compromise, no remorse, no looking back.


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